I met this guy a few weeks ago on yahoo chat.....he's from a neighboring country...later I saw him on webcam & he's very handsome too....I've been chatting with him every night for the past month or so & he's seen my pics ....& yesterday he said he loves me & wants to marry me.He's my dream guy except for 3 things....he's a smoker (& I don't like smokers), he's successfull in his job but doesn't have a college degree (& I like people with college degrees) & last but not least,he's 2 years younger than I am..but I like him more than anyone I've ever known before.....I think of him constantly,I dream of him...heck,I think I'm totally in love with him.. The other thing is,if I marry him,I'll have to live with him in his country & probably give up my job in my own country,without knowing if I can get another one in his..so what should I do? I'm 28 & I've refused so many other guys.My heart says yes,but my mind says no.....which should I go alng with?How do I know he's the one ?
2006-09-19 14:03:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have too many doubts about this so I would not jump into a marriage or serious relationship until these doubts go away. You will be sacrificing a lot, you had better be sure about this guy. And one other thing, anybody can say I "love you" it doesn't have to mean anything for some people.
You say he's successful but has no degree....................SO WHAT.................Two weeks "chatting" doesn't tell you the whole truth, and you say you saw a picture of him, how do you know it's really him???? You can post anybodies picture. You're being WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY to trusting.
Don't follow your emotions on this listen to what your mind is telling you. Hey, I was a single mom for over 20 years, and after kids were grown and on their own met my soul mate, my best friend. Give it time.....Good luck
2006-09-19 14:14:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is suppose to be it will happen...I would suggest you make a timeline. Say give the relationship a couple of months then decide whether to give up your job, etc. Also if you don't have a passport it might take a while to get it anyways.
On a side note...Degrees aren't everything. He can stop smoking, and age isn't everything.
Also if you do decide to go...keep enough money in an account that you, and only you have access to, in case you need to come back home. Just as a safety net. You really don't know this guy...you can never be too sure. Good Luck!
2006-09-19 21:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by Va Party Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you should meet in person before you decide something rash. Because, you might think you are in love with him, but if it's just lust or doesn't work out, then what would you do? But, you should also probably just give it time. Things could change.
However, if you are in love with him, and you do decide to get married, or whatever; then him being 2 years younger than you shouldn't matter, because age is just a number. As for him being a smoker, maybe you could help him quit? If it bothers you that much, and he truly loves you-he'd make an effort, at least.
So, I don't know if I've helped-probably not, but yeah. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, and I hope everything works out wonderfully for you. =]
2006-09-19 21:09:33 · answer #3 · answered by lilmisskristax0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 6+ billion people in the world. The odds that this is the only guy on the planet who would qualify as your "dream guy" are pretty damn slim compared to the number of people you have actually sampled from the world. Consider this, if you meet a new person every day, and live 100 years, you will only meet 1 in every 16,500 people on the planet. I'd say find someone local who takes your fancy.
2006-09-19 21:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by greeneyedprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can someone you only met a few weeks ago be the man of your dreams and consider marrying him? How can you love him? There is a whole lot to a relationship than writing words on a computer screen. You better think twice and than think twice again 2 more times!
2006-09-19 21:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by Nana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its lust not love. Not saying that it will trun into love after. But you have a long way yet before it gets there. You would have to meet this guy in person and chat before anything else. You dont know much about him...and yes i know hes said things to you on the chat thing but honestly how do you know hes telling the truth? You dont! So what if hes cute, or he says hes in love with you.Come on please wake up and snap out of this before you get yourself hurt. Not saying this guy insnt a good guy. But dont do anything crazy and end up marrying this guy. Its not right something is not right, if this guy already proposes to you without seeing you in person and really knowing more about you. Be carefull, you need to realize that theres a lot of crazy people out there!!!
2006-09-19 21:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is so simple. You have to meet him personally and spend time with him personally and not on the computer. I think a computer is just a very small part of really knowing someone, it just opens a door....it is what you do after you go thru that door. It scares me that people think relationships on the internet are the real thing.....in alot of ways it is very impersonal...only words and not actions. Right now you are in love with an idea of him, but until you spend time with him you won't know him on a day to day basis. You really can't love someone after a month on the internet.......be cautious and safe.
2006-09-19 21:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the next thing would be to meet for a trial thing. Are you comfortable around each other, etc, etc. Or just remain talking online. Cant go any further or some kind of reality check if you never meet, unless you consider it an arranged marriage type thing where you havent actually experienced being with him, his friends, his surroundings, etc. Tough call.
2006-09-19 21:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since when does love happen over the internet when you havent even met the person yet??? i think you need to know eachother longer than a month. and IF you can build a stronger relationship over a long period of time (like a year or so) you should meet him in person. how can u marry someone u havent physically met?? i dotn think you should say yes or no. i think u should get to know eachother better first
2006-09-19 21:08:34 · answer #9 · answered by clueless_idiot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet him in person. Spend some vacations together before committing to this. Do some research on his country. If they have a different language realize that it will be difficult for you to make new friends if you do not speak the language.
I don't know about you, but no smoking is an absolute for me. I will not even consider dating a man who smokes.
2006-09-19 21:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋