looking for a lift in my life- 40 and depressed-wife dissapeared about 10 months ago,can't find her to divorce

Question

her. found someone else to roll with,to find out she is a drug addict...anyone know of an online support group or somethin for people like me? currently in a funk,need a lift or something. I want things to work out with this one,but I think it may be me that's the problem. I try to be upbeat,but it's starting to affect my work and I'm more in bad moods,not even wanting to come home. ps If you have a snotty remark,keep it ti yourself,I don't need that now. thank you in advance.:)

Answer 1

to divorce your wife, you need to post an add in the paper where she was last known to be- there is a divorce packet that you can get (usually from local courthouse), then if no response within certain amount of time, you can still get divorced you just have to make every good faith effort to find her first. Legal aid should be able to assist you with further info. As for the rest, you should find a counselar or support group - you can even get on line in your local area and do searches to find one. Take care and good luck- life can be complicated but take it from someone who has been where you are- God will not put more on you then what you can handle

Answer 2

No snotty remarks here, I promise. There is nothing "wrong" with you, meaning you are at fault for your unfortunate relationships. I do think you could benefit from a support group, preferably with men your own age, going through some sort of life change. I am sure there are many groups on Yahoo that might fit the bill. Or check your local community center or church.
Maybe stay away from the ladies for awhile? Don't start any new relationships. Find yourself. Feel good about yourself again. Figure out what you want from yourself, your next partner, life in general. Don't waste your precious energy on fixing a problem with this current one that is out of your hands. Save your energy for making yourself the best you can be.
I hope this helps. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your depression, but just remember there's a beginning and an end for everything, and it will end eventually, there are people you can talk to and things you can do to make it end more quickly.

I would suggest seeing a doctor if it becomes unbearable, but before you do that, why don't you find something in your area taht you're interested in and join a group just being wth other people who share similar interests with you will give you something to look forward to.

my last suggestion is to try working out, it creates endorphins (feel good hormones)
and lastly here is a number i found

Phone: [phone]

National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association 730 North Franklin St Suite 501 Chicago Illinois. 60610-3526 Ph 312 642 0049 fax [phone]. Has a mail order bookshop with wide range of books, videos about depression and manic depressive illness.

Answer 4

Poor guy. Try going to a nude beach. It can be very therapeutic. I went to one in 1997 and it was quite invigorating. However, if that's not for you, another thing you could do to try to give you a nice lift is tourism, such as Yellowstone National Park. See the grizzlies! How cool is that? Of course now in the fall they're at their biggest for when the den up in a month or two. I don't know of any on-line support groups but you might try those yahoo groups I've seen. There's a whole slue of groups you can join and chat. That really sucks your wife disappeared man and was a drug addict.

Answer 5

GO TO YOUR COUNTY COURTHOUSE AND FILE FOR DIVORCE!!!! Give last known address and a court date. If she isa no show it will be granted. If at first ya don't succeed ,try,try again!!!! OK Pro ball players who are good strike out 7 times out of 10! Get the idea? Just keep looking and do not go for the best looking all the time Cause of your batting average. Look in places ike Grocery stores( act dumb, and ask a girl what is thhe best way to do something) Girls LOVE A DUMB GUY HELPLESS GUY) tHERE IS AN OLD SAYING(All thing come to those that wait) I was on the hoof for 13 yrs and finally found one , so Good Luck

Answer 6

I think maybe a good thing to do would be to get into therapy. They can work with you as far as payment arrangements since alot of people can't afford the money they charge. Or you can get into depression support chat rooms on Yahoo chat. I have found them to be helpful when i am down and cant get into the therapist right then. I do not agree with finding a hobby you like, because I know what its like trying to do that, it just doesn't happen....everything you once enjoyed is no longer something you want to do anymore. Maybe talk to your doctor to see if he/she can put you on some type of anti-depressant, they really help too. Hope i have helped some, good luck!

Answer 7

You should try to find a hobby you would enjoy! Or start playing a low key sport like Tennis, it doesn't take a pro to have fun at tennis. You should be able to find a few friends around. The exercise will be good for you mind too, it puts up your endorphins and make you happy!

I think this would really help you out.

Answer 8

Hey. I've been there before too, not in your circumstances but we all end up there via a different road, know what i mean?

Anyways, you just have to find something to help keep your mind off of things. If you keep thinking about your situation then you'll never get out of the funk that you're in. Try doing something new in life like joining the army (yeah they increased their max age so i think you can get in up to 45 years) or going to college. Find a favorite show on tv and look forward to it every week, that way you have something special that you can look forward to that is just for you. For me its House =) If that lady that you're with is truly an addict then at this time of your life it is not a good idea for you to be with her. It's just asking too much of you to be able to deal with her emotional issues along with yours at the same time. If you are going to be in love with somebody it is going to have to be with somebody who is going to elevate you, not drag you down. She may be a great person and all but her habit is going to make her act weird towards you sometimes, and you'll blame it on yourself. Like I said, not something you need right now. Keep her as a friend if you want.

Get a pet. That way your house is not empty. This is more important than you think. It doesn't matter what the pet is so long as you're able to care for it and stuff. Redecorate your house. Get rid of as much of the old stuff as you can afford to get rid of and replace it, that way the house that you shared with your ex will become your *new* house. In this way you will refresh your living space and that will help you alot. I don't know what you're doing for work, but try to get a different assignment at work so that you can learn something new. Or, if you want just go out and get a new job. It's all about doing something different instead of doing the same old thing.

Break routine. Break monotony. It took me awhile to get out of my funk too. There is no magic pill for this in spite of what people say. The exercise stuff..endorphins and all that..thats nice but that is a long term solution. You should not expect fast results from that.

Lastly, improve your presentation to women so that you will attract a woman who is your equal. Right now the outlook that you are presenting is attracting drug addicts. Show your true side with a new, updated wardrobe and a smile and I'm sure that you'll find someone worthy of you who will not drag you down. And when that happens, be the best man you can be so that you do for her what she does for you ok? Hope this helps. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Involve yourself in something that you always wanted to do, but couldn't/ wouldn't because of your partners objections, like riding a motorcycle, or a fishing trip.

Answer 10

Recognize the impermanence of life. Know deeply that everything changes......And so there is nothing to take seriously.

... do this, and you will feel joy.