Simply put my girlfriend thinks it should be ok for her to hang out with and stay friends with guys she's slept with or had relationships with. I'm uncomfortable with the whole thing. She says I'm being unreasonable.
2006-09-19 13:37:50 · 19 answers · asked by vashadow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a classic situation and it is serious. If you are worried about this it will only get worse. You can't cover it up because it will haunt you every day. This is a guy thing. It is just the way you all work. I understand. But she may not. And she can trump you in any argument with the old maturity line. Learn this my brother: "For some, no explanation is possible. For others, no explanation is necessary." You can try to explain how you feel to her a thousand times, but it just may not be possible for her to get it. But out there some where is a woman for whom no explanation would be necessary because she would know instinctively that men like to know that their woman is with them. Period.
2006-09-19 13:45:53 · answer #1 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she truly cares for you she will stop doing it. If not, then it is more important for her to have contact with past relationships than current ones. This is simply up to you.....if she doesn't then you have to make a decision to stay or move on. Personally, she is already stating that your thoughts and feelings don't count. You know they do and you know she is the unreasonable one.........her saying you're unreasonable is just a way of not validating your feelings and caring only for her own. Be happy, move on & find someone with the same outlook as you do.
2006-09-19 13:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't choose her friends... You have to trust her. At the same time she should also respect your feelings as well. Neither of you should be doing anything to make the other one feel uncomfortable. The best resolution would be a mutal friendship between you, her and her ex-boyfriends. If that is just impossible, then maybe you and your girlfriend should just be friends. Without trust and mutual respect, you can't have a lasting relationship.
2006-09-19 13:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Thats a tricky one it depends on how secure you feel about your relationship and what level of comittment you have with each other. I know as a woman it is possible to remain friends with a man I have been intimate with and I know men who can also keep good boundaries. Just go with your gut if she really wanted to be with someone else she would probably tell you. Talk to her about your concerns and hopefully she will reassure you, I think its very nice that you care, and if I were her I would be flattered by the fact that you cared enough to want there to be good boundaries... so good luck intimacy is about communicating feelings like this and loving one another....
2006-09-19 13:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by Ellie-Hay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ican really relate to what you are going through because i am in a similar situation. My boyfriend thinks that because i hang around a guy that I dated in 10th grade(9 years ago)that I am still messing around with him. What it is is that this guy and my cousin that I am very close with (like brother and sister) is my cousins best friend so of course I see him all the time. But I tell my boyfriend that if he really trust me like he says he does that he has nothing to worry about,we are just friends,nothing more. Just trust her, you may just be over reacting.
2006-09-19 13:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I am very good friends with most of my ex's. No animosity I even like their new girlfriends, If she is NOT sleeping with them anymore it's shouldn't be a problem sounds like you may be a little insecure, But if it bothers you that much, and she really loves you she should back off a little with the ex's for the sake of what she has now. Hope that helps?
2006-09-19 13:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by conniechung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Youre right. Cant work if you two want your relationship to grow. Maybe she's not ready for commitment to you, or maybe youre showing signs of not wanting to commit to her and she's leaving the door open.
2006-09-19 13:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not! get her out of the way of them and tell her straight up to knock it off or it's over because that would make me feel like i had a cheater(but in my case it would be a guy!) don't worry, if she doesn't understand, there is someone else out there for you! :)
2006-09-19 13:41:27 · answer #8 · answered by ♥chica♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
then you should simply tell he rthat you feel that way, and maybe she will be considerate about your feelings. if she dont then just put your foot down. If she really loved you then she wouldnt hurt you. that way. E-mail me and tell me how it went. Kerry8806@msn.com or ladyaquariu06@sbcglobal.net
2006-09-19 13:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a little cold if she can't see how that would upset you... if a guy did that to me I would start thinking about finding a new one.
2006-09-19 13:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋