ok i am 21...used to the assholes and games and college frat beer chugging guys. All of my guy friends are like that and I have never known otherwise. I am not dating this older guy who has a career a house everything...and just achieved all of this so this is why he is just now seeking a relationship. he is amazing and sweet and does all of these things for me. some of the things i find kind of cheesey b/c i don't know of guys my age doing that for girls my age. he treats me to everthing takes me to fancy dinners brings me coffee or food while i am studying....and tells me exactly how he feels about me. is he so genuine and sweet however sometimes i my 21 yr old self comes out and is like why is this guy doing all of this for me?! i can't help but think this is all kind of corny and hokey. am i feeling this way bc i am so young. is this what people in their late 20's do for girls they like?i have always wanted a guy like this but i am freaked out bc i know this will be serious
2006-09-19 13:29:04 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lucky you
2006-09-19 13:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by Nav 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is eactly the "nice guy's" complaint you see on here. Are you more concerned about how it looks of how he is treating you? Hokey and corney?? I mean, you are an adult as you mentioned (21). Late 20's? He likes you. This is his of way of showing it. I don't mean to come off nasty but thisk guy is getting a bad wrap b/c he is not what you obviously do not want (Frat, beer drinking guy). You say he is established and on his way. Why would you question his niceness. Unless you think he has a diff motive? Give the guy a break. He likes ya. If it bothers you that his actions are cheesey and hokey and only if you think it's too much and coming on to strong then say something. Otherwise, enjoy it. I hear women say it all the time. "Where are all the nice guys at"? You seem to have one. Enjoy it!!!!! lol. Good luck! By the way, 20 ish is not old. ......lol.
2006-09-19 13:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by Chef 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're feeling this way because it sounds as if you've never known anybody who wasn't a selfish, immature jerk.
It's not so much a late-twenties thing, though that's part of it. It's really a maturity thing; I got my first inkling of it in my teens but it came and went for another decade or so (and still disappears for an hour or so at a time if I'm grouchy...).
People who are mature and who like each other do this kind of thing for each other. You know that thing they say about "do unto others as you would have others do unto you?" This is that, only he's the "you" and you're the "others" in this case. Bringing you coffee and food while you're studying, telling you how he feels -- these are very, very clear signs of two things:
1 - He is a mature adult who has learned to think about other people's feelings.
2 - He likes you and wants you to be happy.
Being nice to each other is what having a relationship is all about. Oh, sure, there's buying houses, and raising your kids, and changing jobs, and moving to new cities, and getting your cars fixed, and putting aside money for retirement, and all that other stuff. But at the end of the day, the reason we have relationships is because we feel good when we bring the one we love a cup of coffee without even being asked. You know that thing they say about how "it is more blessed to give than to receive?" This is that, only he's giving and you're receiving.
...I hadn't thought about this in YEARS, but one of the things I found so compelling about the woman I married (before I even started dating her) was that none of her boyfriends had ever treated HER the way you say this guy treats you. She and I were part of the same group of half a dozen college friends; she always had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, and I always felt bad because nobody ever did nice things for her. So I took it upon myself to be nice to her, the way you'd be nice to a friend. Eventually we both found ourselves in a position where we could go out with each other, instead of with our dates, and, well, that was thirty years ago. And I'm going to have to cut this short as she's on the way home from music lessons with our two youngest kids, and I'm making homemade clam chowder with our oldest daughter tonight. (Come on over! I'm making gallons, and we have three 19-year-olds in the house at the moment, so you'll have somebody close to your own age to talk to. :-)
So yeah, it COULD be serious. You have to keep an eye on those nice guys, he sounds like the kind who'll love you and NOT leave you!
All the best!
2006-09-19 14:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not something that every guy does. Some never move past the stupid asshole stage. Some just don't show affection well. I think it's really nice that he can communicate his feelings to you and do cute little things for you as well! If it's seriously freaking you out, talk to him. Or if you just can't handle the serious-ness of the relationship, then you need to break it off before YOU hurt HIM.
Nice guys are around, maybe you got one. Do you want him is the question.
2006-09-19 13:32:40 · answer #4 · answered by fleekyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be stupid! Female, I'm 21, in college, and LOOKING FOR A MAN LIKE THAT! U got what most girls our age want. He's secure, he's real, he has your best interest in you, he's looking out for you. Guys our age are all about wanting to sleep with us, leave us hurt, and disrespect us by cheating on us, and with ten other females. Would you rather have the committed one that sounds cheesy but is being real, or the one who's going to hurt you. If I was you, I'd be all over this man. He sounds nice. Maybe he didn't have a girl friend until he got successful becuase he wanted to be able to provide his lady with the best, and right now, that's you! Please pursue, and play your cards right. I'm not telling you to use him. I would never do that, but he's a good catch, don't throw him back. Alot of people would love to be in your shoes. Guys our age are still in boy mode...ask your self, do you want a boy or do you want a man. A man sounds better to me. His priorities are in order, and best of all, he's not beating on you...stay where the getting is good. Every woman deserves queen treatment, and u r getting it.
2006-09-19 13:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by lil_l2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same kind of guy you described. And the girl I am seeing doesnt know how to take it either. Infact, we are having difficulties because she is too worried it will go further.
If your afraid, talk to him about it. She talked to me about it and made me and her feel better. You cant have a relationship without communication.
If he is doing all these things for you, chances are, he really does enjoy being with you. Just dont take advantage of it like most woman now a days would do.
I dont think it matters what people in thier late 20's do for girls they like. I think once a nice honest, caring man finds a girl he likes, thats what he does.
Thats what I do to my kinda dating/seeing girl....haha..
2006-09-19 13:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the nice stuff he's doing for you IS what nice guys do for women they have feelings for. When I was around your age, I dated a guy 8 years older than I was. He treated me like a princess! I broke up with him because I wasn't ready for a serious commitment, but I made sure that he understood it was ME, not him, who had the problem. You have to decide if you are ready for the type relationship he obviously is.
2006-09-19 13:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your gut about the guy. If its real, it'll feel real without a doubt. Enjoy the love he's trying to give you, if you feel something for him. Be honest right back with him about how you feel. Don't let your emotions get too carried away.
Man.....it's very rare that a guy is serious about getting a career and home before having a serious relationship. It is possible though. Listen to your gut feelings. If he's over over 10 years older than you, findout as much as you can about the guy.
2006-09-19 13:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by Julie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want the relationship to move forward then what he is doing is great. If you don't then you should let him know now so that you don't hurt him when you do decide to let him know. He is wanting a real relationship, he's a nice guy...take it! You won't get many guys who treat you this nice....he's not a freak he's someone who is interested in a relationship not a one night stand.
2006-09-19 13:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by Moosha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a big one I delt with that when I first got w/ who I am with now It seems too good to be true and you just dont know why me... Yeah it goes away and then you will think mayb he is covering something up then u find out its just genuine and you feel all stupid you'll get over it if you really want a serious relationship with no games... But thats up to you to decide...
Studing Nursing and psychology
2006-09-19 13:34:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know a good thing when you have it, enjoy it , and be nice to him also, but stay friend for a while, so the two of you can get to know each other. Life is short, so thank God you have found someone who, does not have a lot of drama going on!! Go for it girl!!
2006-09-19 13:35:18 · answer #11 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋