Our mom gave me up for adoption when I was 1 and a half. I met her when I was 18 and my sister was 3 and my brother was 1. Now my brother is 14 and he found me on myspace. My mother hates me and we have been estranged for over 4 years. She is mentally ill. I am too but I take medication and don't do drugs or drink alcohol. My mom is divorced from my brother's dad and he has custody of the kids so she can't really say I can't have a relationship with my brother legally but I don't want to open a can of worms. Right now we're just talking online. Last time I spoke to my brother's dad I said I'd like to have a relationship with my siblings and he said I could but I heard he was talking about me behind my back and I didn't have the energy to fight for the relationship. I've always wanted to show my siblings that although their mother is crazy, they don't have to be too and I've always wanted to set a good example. Should I wait until my brother's 18 to try to have a relationship?
2006-09-19 13:14:38 · 17 answers · asked by icu812 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As long as your brothers legal guardian says it is ok, it is. You have an opportunity to show your siblings that you have moved past your mothers craziness and maybe they can too. Good luck to you!
2006-09-19 13:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by mamaP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you should go for it now. He is your brother and blood. If his dad doesnt understand who cares, it your brother and he needs you. So does your sister. If they dont have there mom then maybe you are the closet thing to it. Start whatever you can with him before it is to late. Dont let his dad interfer, you are a strong women and want a relationship with you siblings maybe he will grow to respect that. I was taken from my mom when i was 12 and i have 7 brothers and sisters. They really didnt have a relationship with me until they were grown and out of the house and to this day our relationship isnt strong at all. Start while he is still young.
2006-09-19 20:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a half brother and sister who I have never met and I regret not having contact with them. I don't know where they are or how to find them.
Yes, you should have a relationship with your siblings as long as they are in agreement and respect you and your decision.
I applaud you for thinking in such a mature way. You can always go back to the way you are now if things do not work out as you would like.
Ignore your mother or anyone who try to sabotage the relationship you're trying to build.
I hope you have a pleasant and loving relationship with your blood.
2006-09-19 20:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bit complicated. Without knowing the intimate details it is hard to know just what can of worms you have here. The only advice I can offer is that I would take it slow and keep getting to know your bro online and maybe expand it to the phone. Taking things slow will help the two of you develop a relationship. Without that, you are just strangers who share genes. Remember that even if your mother "hates you" you have to remember that she is still the only mother that your brother has and he might not take too kindly to you expecting him to understand your point of view about her. You may want to talk about other things and get to know him from a good place and with better topics than her.
Good Luck
2006-09-19 20:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by j g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, thats a really hard thing to have to deal with, but because of the wierdness of the parents i think you should probably wait for your brother to turn 18. or at least just talk to him on the internet until then because it sounds like his dad also has some issues.
2006-09-19 21:18:28 · answer #5 · answered by moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try and have a relationship with them. Just because your mother dosen't like you, dosen't mean that she should be able to control your choices. I'd want to get to know my siblings if I was in your position, so I say GO FOR IT!!! :-)
-Good Luck
2006-09-19 20:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by amberdesawn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. And have a relationship. Forget about everybody else. If they dont like it and he is banned from talkin to you, talk to him over the intrent. Then when he is 18 nobody can say anything. Good Luck.
2006-09-19 20:19:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and develop your relationship with your brother. It's the healthy thing to do for yourself. Doing what your mom says is good , but you are an adult now and can make decisions for yourself.
2006-09-19 20:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i dont think u should wait. i think that it is cool that u would do that and that u went through the trouble of finding him on myspace (i love that place!). u could at least try and get to know him, and see what he wants. i think hes old enough. Hopefully he will want to get to know u back after u went through that. all i know is that if i had an older sibling that i didnt know about and he/she tried to contact me, i would probably try and get to know him/her.
2006-09-19 20:23:18 · answer #9 · answered by banana.pancakes25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him on line for now and when he turns 18 you could start a relationship without the dad being involved.
2006-09-19 20:18:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋