MY 9 year old daughter says he hates me?

Question

I'd say i've always been a good mother to my kids...My daughter has always been a handful...Every time i try and discipline her for something she's done wrong, she yells she hates me, that she wants to live somewhere else, that she hates living here. I always feel so hurt when she says these things, it's a worry..Are there any other parents who have similiar problems with their kids? and what do u think's the best way to deal with this..i never let her see i'm hurt by these remarks, as she'd do it all the more.

She has a friend who (In my opinion acts like spoilt brat) she's always getting her own way..her mum's usually too busy to even care..i'm sure she has an influence on her behaviour....but how do u stop your child from playing with someone when they live just next door!! It's a difficult one

Answer 1

Find a relative or even a friend that she can stay with for a few days (don't tell her it's only for a few days), and the next time she says that, pack her a suitcase, toss her in the car, take her there, and drop her off. Let her come home when she apologizes. I did this to my kids when they pulled that crap, and they were begging to come home within a week.

Answer 2

Just tell her you love her. Then speak to her when she calms down.
My little sister was abusive like your daughter. At one point whe threw knives in the house and another time she punched our mother in the head while she was driving.
I would suggest you have her seek counseling now. They can help you with a plan for your daughter. If she becomes too out of control there may be a program where she can live outside the home while she recieves treatment.
Don't blame yourself, some parents have difficult children.
Good Luck

Answer 3

My daughter is 7 and will often say things like this when she is being redirected for her behavior. It is particularly hurtful to me, as we adopted her after having her in foster care for a year. I was not expecting this until she was in her teens, but other moms have said they have the same problem. I have chosen to be honest with her, and it seems to help. When she says she hates me I come back with "Well, I love you and it hurts my feelings when you say things like that. I may not like your behavior, but I will always love you and never try to hurt you." It doesn't prevent her from saying it again at a later date, but it hasn't made her do it more either. It does help calm her down in the moment so we can have a reasonable discussion about the problem at the time. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think all kids go through this stage, I am sure she doesn't really mean it, she probably says it because she knows it hurts you. When she says that next time try saying something like "I know you are angry with me and I don't think you mean that. I love you." Be patient, also what kind of punishment techniques do you use? Because if you are spanking then this could be the resentment also. But either way let her know that you love her no matter what and eventually she should stop saying such mean things.

Answer 5

where is the father? Does she get to see her father? The reason I am asking is because my 11 year old USED to say that to me until one day I got so mad that I packed her close and sent her to her father.I left her there for about a week, and then I told her that I was gonna sign my rights away and I was no longer gonna be her mom.Boy she started crying saying no momma don't do that, and I asked her why, she said I love you.I told her I loved her too but I wasn't gonna keep playing her little games and if she wanted to come home she had to stop saying all the hurtful things she had said to me. Then I reminded her of all the tings she had said, and I haven't had anymore problems. I talk with her now about how she is feeling and she hadn't said anymore hurtful thing. I hope all works out with your child.

Answer 6

I have a question. Why do you allow your daughter to say things like that to you? Do you raise her to consider you her equal? When she says ugly things like that put her in time out or on punishment so she will know that you will not accept such behavior. I don't care where her friend lives if she is a bad influence stop the association. Would you let her drink poison simply because it is in the house? Take control now before she becomes a teen and you really have no control over her.

Answer 7

Tell her the reason you discipline her is cause you love her and parents who doesnt discipline their children dont have a good communication between their children and them.Tell her you want her to able to talk to you if she ever had a problem.
And say if you let her do whatever she wanted,she would wound up in trouble

Answer 8

in case you think of it’s a mistake for her to have that many piercings, now may be the best time to permit her get it out of her gadget. all of us do weird and wonderful, widespread, embarrassing issues as quickly as we’re young infants; via fact the pre-teenager subculture of the time mentioned it grow to be cool, suited? offering she’s not violating her colleges gown code, it’s okay to permit her test with outlandish fashions – this is, as long as they’re not everlasting. permit her shade her hair shiny blue or shave it off, or paint each and each nail and diverse shade... and permit her peirce her ears. Hair dye grows out, hair grows lower back (fit in actuality), and ear piercings close quite quickly in the event that they’re not used. as quickly as she gets older and the infants round her improve out of those issues, she will too – and if not, then it is going to represent some thing important too her, and you will desire to appreciate your daughters individuality. She’ll would desire to discover ways to evolve to life status out slightly, and take a number of them out on artwork days whilst she gets sufficiently previous to prefer her very own money, yet it is all area of transforming into up. i'd, although, draw the line at tattoos – extraordinarily ones which would be seen outdoors her clothing. countless the stuff we expect of is in order that very insightful and clever in extreme college gained’t seem so deep whilst she’s 30. possibly you may make a manage her; she will peirce her ears all she needs as long as she delivers to not badger you approximately tattoos or greater risky peircings (such via fact the tongue.) Is there a non secular or cultural reason you ought to be greater reluctant than favourite? Does she get into worry? Are you purely frightened approximately what boys or different mum and dad will think of? Why not talk those issues along with her so she knows your conserns at the instant are not purely tyranny. additionally, shop her father in touch so which you're the two on the same website and dealing as a united front. Be open minded. She's purely a new child. If she gets by way of this area previously she hits the actual international it will be all the better for her!

Answer 9

I have a 11 year old daughter and at the same age she tried that stuff. Talking back and yelling she hated me. I don't spank often but that was one of those times I almost blew up......Don't allow her to tell you she hates you. Spank her and walk away. Everytime she says it do it over and over again. She is trying to hurt you! I know I will catch it for telling you to spank her but I would never let a child stand up in my face and tell me they hated me. Not after all us mothers go thur.
Just the way I feel.

Answer 10

my daughter who is also nine (going on about 30) tells me she hates me and I told my mother the same thing. It will pass. Try not to let her see it bothers you by letting her see that it does you are given her a reaction which is what she wants. Continue to discipline as necessary.