Help me please?

Question

I am a freshman in high school, and just recently moved to this town. The whole town is obsessed with sports. I absolutely hate sports. I love music and art, but no one in this school is interested in any of that. I've had this social anxiety problem since 6th grade, and I can't stand it. No one in school talks to me, and I can't get up the courage to even say hi to people. I'ts like my voice is lost, and when I do speak it doesn't some out the way I want it to. I'm sick of being a loner and feeling depressed. Theres been a lot of family issues in my home, and I strongly believed that has helped influence the problem. I don't want to talk to my dad about this problem at all, I've tried, he just doesn't get it. I think he is worried about doctors putting me on meds. He doesn't want medication to harm me, whether it be addiction, or just harming my body in general. Any advice would be great. Please don't say join clubs, band. I didn't like band, tried it. Clubs r all sport

I guess I forgot to state the obvious....I HAVE 00000000 FRIENDS!!!!!! I SIT ALONE AND THINK TO MYSELF ALL DAY!!!!! IT IS ****** BORING AND I AM SICK OF IT!!!!!!

Answer 1

Hey, I've been there. I moved during my senior year. One of your other questions said you're in a band. Are they friends that you can talk to? Otherwise, could you talk to a school counselor? I bet there are other guys that are going through the same thing.

Answer 2

I'm guessing you moved to a small town in the south lol, that's where i grew up, and i'm here to tell you, it's not going to be easy for a few years... highschool is tough enough on it's own.. but if you aren't a jock or a prep it's even tougher. the good news is that there are millions of other people out there who feel the same way you do! alone, depressed.. family problems... when i was in the 7th grade my older brother killed himself.. my grades slipped a little.. my family life was crazy.. and although i did play sports and start i was by no means accepted in the jock circle. it didn't help that my mother was the highschool councelor and my father the superintendant lol. and guess what... it all turned out fine. it wasn't easy, and there were times i thought it would never end.. but then college came! and there were LOTS of people there that had been threw things like i had. as for friends for now.. i know this isn't exactly what you WANT to hear, but it is what you NEED to hear.. screw them, just be yourself and true friends will find their way into your life.. that doesn't mean sit back and do nothing.. if an oporunity comes, grab it.. but TRUE friends are something you will be able to find that many others won't, if you'll just continue to be YOU and not what others WANT you to be.. now that being said, that doesn't mean stay like you are.. decide what you want to be.. if you want to be more open then go for it, work on it.. a little at a time.. but if you don't want to be more open then no big deal.. but make that choice so that at least you can say you are this way because you choose to be.

Answer 3

I understand your problem and it is very difficult to be in high school even if you're the most popular kid. It's nice to hear someone talk about having a little different idea about what is or isn't fun or cool. You need to be proud that you are different and don't need to be the same just to fit in. Do your own thing, you'll be better off for it. As time goes by you'll meet people who have the same interests as you. Don't force yourself to try and fit into a situation you really don't want to be in just to be with the in crowd. Always remember everyone in high school, even the popular kids, are having a hard time with something also and maybe even the same type of things. Be nice to yourself and only do what you really want to do not what the in crowd does. You are already proving to be an individual with your own thoughts and ideas. Keep that up and you'll be ok. Good luck.

Answer 4

I share your appreciation of that social anxiety problem you're experiencing. I lived in a small town where people just payed attention to appearance and the only activity everybody considered worthy was to work out at the gym!!
If you're skilled enough and feel competent to do it, I encourage you to start a Literature club, a music discussion group, a painting atelier... Anything suitable and related to your abilities. Be the pioneer!
Even more, why don't you start an online International Literature group of discussion? I'm trying to create one with some former students and friends who live abroad. If you're interested, contact me: [e-mail]
Good luck!

Answer 5

Well my best suggestion is that you try enrolling in a school only for the arts that includes music as well. Only if they have it in your town. I wish I could help you more but thats the best I can do. I too don't play sports in school nor do I hate them. I usually do it somewhere else. But even if you dont play a sport try to talk to the kids in your school. I did and I know practically everyone in my school. Try to impress them in your gym class or something, I know deep inside you theres a sport that you can play. Not everyone plays all the sports in the world, just find one that you think is right for you I guess :).

Answer 6

Have you tried starting your own club?Pick something you're interested in, place a couple of posters around school asking if others are interested. put a meeting time on it, then show up and see if anyone else does. If there are any counselors at your school, they may be able to help with the meeting room.

Answer 7

greetings--you stated this dilemma very well btw.

hang in there--pain like you are experiencing is a kind of message, a message that a whole lot in your life needs to change for you to feel right, good and more happy. this can be good news actually.

but its hard ot go it alone. perhaos u can find a good therapist and map what's going on more carfull and as well as what you need to think, feel and do to move beyond this

most importantly--give yourself the friendship and generosity you deserve

very good lives have grown out of the kind of pain you are experiencing

best to you dr jm

Answer 8

you need to do what's right for you and that may be hard because it's going to go against what everyone else is doing, but be strong and don't let other people influence your descicions. If you like art paint or read books about art etc.... you are a unique individual don't ever let anyone change that.

Answer 9

highschool is tough man.... just introduce some new arts nd music to some friends nd then maybe they would share that interest with you later on. it'll be okay. people do this all the time when they go to a new school in new rea =]

Answer 10

yeah, highschool sucks. please don't listen to anyone who tells you to adapt or try to like sports. please please be who you are. i went through this same thing, and i finally had to decide that as long as i had 1 friend, i was okay. but even if i had none, i had a plan too. i would just study during lunch! but i would not be anyone but myself. so slowly i found people just like me. they didn't like popular things, and we would eat lunch together. by the end of highschool i had friends in every class. so just be true to who you are, and people will respect that!