my daughter is 3yrs old, sometimes me and her dad drop her off at his moms house so we can have some alone time, but we always feel so bad and rush thru our "date" to get back home. Is this normal? or are we being selfish by leaving her so that we can have fun? we went on a trip for 3 days without her for the 1st time and she missed us a lot, and we missed her. but is this damaging to her feelings? should we wait to go on another 3day trip, or will we always feel like this?
2006-09-19 11:58:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The world needs more parents like you and your hubby! your daughter will always be your little one. :))
2006-09-19 12:07:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always feel guilty about leaving my girls. The funny thing is- they have a great time, whether it be with the grandparents, with the sitter, or school (3-year-old just started pre-k 9-2). I have found that as much as I love my kids, I often wish for a break, but then worry about them when I am not there. My husband and I have not been out alone since my now 16-month old was 4 months old (we don't have many people who can babysit for us and the family all lives out of town). The problem with this is that it affects our relationship. As long as your kids are well-taken care of, enjoy your time together. Your time with your kids is important, but it is also important that they see their parents in a warm, loving, happy relationship. Feel good that your daughter misses you- you must be a great mother if she wants to spend her time with you!
2006-09-19 16:43:45 · answer #2 · answered by teacher/mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure your parents provided a great, safe environment for your daughter. You as parents also need some time for yourselves. It is not going to damage you daughters state of mind by leaving her for a couple days. Make sure you explain before you leave what is going to happen. Make a call in the evenings before you go out on your dates to remind her you love her. My children spend a weekend with their grandmother several times a year. Ushually atleast once every 2 months sometimes more. My children look forward to their visit. Maybe to ease the 3 day trips you could incorporate more 1 night visits here and there.
Good Luck
2006-09-19 12:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important to the growth and development of your child for you to have alone time with your husband! It teaches her independence and trust that you will come back. It teaches her that mommy and daddy like to spend time together - which also helps her to feel secure that mommy and daddy's relationship is strong. It also gives her a chance to feel secure in herself. I saw a huge change in my child when I started taking him to the gym daycare. All of a sudden he was able to socialize with other children better...
Finally, if you are going out and feeling guilty the entire time, you are wasting your time without your child! What is the point! When you have the time away make the most of it!!!
2006-09-19 12:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not selfish at all to want alone time. Don't feel guilty--grandma's always love spending time with the grandkids. I'm sure your inlaws don't mind that you want alone time. Just relax and enjoy it :-)
2006-09-19 12:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY. Do NOT feel guilty about it, ever. You deserve time alone together. You make your child is in a safe environment. You're doing the right thing. But worrying about your child is normal. It doesnt damage her in any way. Please don't worry too much about it. You deserve time to yourselves. If you worry too much, it defeats the purpose for your time alone together.
2006-09-19 12:07:59 · answer #6 · answered by THE LONER 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just because she is your brand new baby. Wait until she is 1 year, you'll be begging Grandma to sit!! Go and enjoy time with your husband he is important to!! This also gets her to bond with her Grandparents. Congrats!
2006-09-19 12:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you aren't using gramma on a regular basis or replacing day care with gramma then it should be alright. Always ask first though, your parents may have plans of their own. Get a regular babysitter too, your parents are not free childcare.
2006-09-19 12:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel that way but try to think of it this way--your daughter probably loves being with grandma and getting spoiled by her!
2006-09-19 12:01:33 · answer #9 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel the same way when i leave my son for a few hours but adults do need time alone if you didn't enjoy being gone for 3 days don't do it again
2006-09-19 12:16:47 · answer #10 · answered by Moo moo I'm a chicken 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt sense in charge over the dying of your mom. i'm specific your grandma could prefer you to mourn over your loss, if she does no longer thats sort of egocentric. I dont think of you will inevitably recover from your mothers dying yet you will cope with it. stay good <3
2016-10-17 07:18:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋