Hi all, I need help because I am at a crossroad here. I have a boyfriend that I have been in an intimate relationship over 2 years.
I think I found my husband, no I know I found him. But we are having problems in the friend department. I have some friends that I have been cool with for a yearor so....my co-workers.
I am glad were are friends because I really didnt have too many.
We hang alot and have fun. But my boyfriend is from my hometown but he works out of state but not too far because we can drive back and forth to see each other, which we have. But he doesnt like the fact that my friends are single and they go out alot he thinks they dont respect our relationship, he doesnt mind us goin out but he doesnt like that we go bar-hopping, he says we should do something else. Because of his work I see him 2 or 3 times a month. I dont like how he wants all of my attention when he comes home even if I want to do something with my friends.
2006-09-19 11:36:59 · 7 answers · asked by Dawn K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He thinks that my girls should understand that I am in a relationship and that I shouldnt do certain things that they do because they are single. I agree but I like my friends and he seems a bit controlling or are his request just things I should be abiding by? To sum it up he feels he should be put first before my friends because we are in a serious relationship.
What should I do?
2006-09-19 11:37:20 · update #1
I have been married for almost eight years and i will say i rarely go to bars. I think bar-hopping is for single people who are looking for other single people or married people who arent happy looking for a good time. Maybe your friends and you could do dinner and a movie or a bigger type club that he could go to also with his friends. Dont stop going to the bars completely, everyone needs to get out, but i would suggest keeping it to a minimum. Just my opinion! I wouln't be comfortable with my husband bar-hopping!
2006-09-19 11:42:16 · answer #1 · answered by Boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like both of you could use a dose of "compromise". If you're so into the relationship, then I would think bar hopping would be something you'd reconsider doing. After all the only reason guys go there is to drink and pick up girls. So if you're not in the market, why are you there? Now you should have time with friends, but I agree with bf maybe you could find something else to do. Now, he needs to stop being so possessive. You aren't trying to control his free time. He needs to trust you and want you to have a good time. When he's with you, you should be with him. From what you've said, you have plenty of time when he's working to go out with your friends. So just make sure you are home when he's home. That should work. hugs
2006-09-19 18:42:25 · answer #2 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something to think about. I have been married for over 40 years and think that our outlook on relationships have worked well. When 2 people get together in a relationship,it means that they want spend their lives together. I t doesn'tmean that either of them has to give everything and everyone else up. It also doesn't mean that either person assumes the position of commander in chief. It is a 50/50 relationship. Nobody is the boss. If one of us wants to go out with friends that isn't a problem. The only rules that we have basically are : 1) Your partner comes before all else and 2) no matter where we are or who we are with, we never do or say anything that will ever cause a problem of any kind in our relationship. I personally never do or say anything to anyone that I wouldn't do or say if my wife was standing beside me.
2006-09-19 18:46:21 · answer #3 · answered by nidan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this relationship...if thats really what it is...is pretty sad. so you only see your man 2 or 3 times a month...and you cant put your "friends" to the side for just that time??? wow... that pretty selfish of you...obviously he cares for you...he wants to spend time with you when you can get together, but youd rather be somewhere else?? grow up...first of all... i dont go out with single people my age...im 24 and i've been married for three years...ever since my husband and i started dating, i stopped going to the clubs...partying all night...the reasons people go to those things is to find someone to hook up with...i already had someone that i was hooked up with...so the single friends of mine and me just didnt have very much in common anymore...if you cant give up your friends, then you should be single and tell your man the truth...that you dont want a relationship...otherwise get it togther and dump the so-called friends.
2006-09-19 19:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by life beyond yur wildest dreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you only see your boyfriend 2 or 3 times a month and don't want to give him all your attention for that short a period of time, then my advice is to break up with him. Go out with your friends until you feel ready to settle down.
2006-09-19 18:39:20 · answer #5 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is insecure to me. He should trust you to go bar hopping and know that you are remaining faithful to him. Does he ever hang out with the guys at a bar? Just because your friends are single doesn't mean your acting single when your going out. Excuse my language here, but the saying goes, "chicks before *****, and bros before hoes!"
2006-09-19 18:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by jenhatesnick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is the wrong relationship for you. If he doesn't like who you hang around with, he needs to be home. He should not leave you friendless. I say find another guy and get married to him, don't sleep around.
2006-09-19 18:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by stick man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋