I'm sry ,ok...I knew what I was doing was wrong and still denied him because of my pride. now i understand that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true lord and created the world and all around it. Can i still recieve my beer volcano and stripper although I denied him for so long? Plz...I feel soooooo guilty after reading the Gospel of his noodly appendage. It explained everything...Does he forgive me?
2006-09-19 11:28:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
For Lo! Thar shall come unto thee a time of great gnashing of thy chompers and ye shall say unto the skys, "O, I have been a sinnin' ever so agin The Spaghetti Monster; an' i deserves to be whipped like the mangey curr that I be, arrrrr." But then the seas shall not bear thee up and shall come a roarin' an' a stompin' on thy frail bone like unto a whale beachin' its carcuss upon a frozen shore. Ye shall cast thy eye skyward like unto a crumb and spill thy seed not upon a stripper but unto the dog vomit that curseth thee in thy watery home. Verily verily I say unto thee, not until the iceman cometh, not until that which was lost is found in the pocketbook of a madwomen from Yonkers, shall the Clarence B. Williams of thy fate bring down upon itself the rigtheousness of the Flying Spagehti monster.
Forgiveness is not mankind's to petition for. Most of what you got already belongeth unto the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Instead, Flay yourself with whips and chains, go naked unto the world, grab businessmen in suits to drag them off into alleys and tell them your story. If ye haven't got a story, make one up.
Ra-men!
2006-09-22 12:10:45 · answer #1 · answered by NeoArt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Flying Spaghettti Monster forgives all. As long as you repent. And give to the church. And convert others in as irratating way as possible. And fight crusades against infidels. And....
2006-09-19 12:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by adphllps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on your heart. You can ask whole heartedly for forgiveness, but you need to practice avoiding your mistakes as well, and really mean it. True, we're not perfect, but by giving your best effort, the Almighty will not only forgive you, but will not test you more than you can bear, and help you with Holy Spirit in ways you won't expect.
2006-09-19 11:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I will pay 1 million dollars if I never have to hear or read about the stupid flying spaghetti monster again....
you kids need a new hobby.
2006-09-19 11:36:10 · answer #4 · answered by James P 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The Spaghetti-o God forgives you. There is only one God and his name is Buford and I am his prophet. He called to me on top of the landfill and said that all others are false prophets. Buford promises that when we die, heaven is full of drugs and alcohol, an endless gambling bankroll, and orgies. But that Buddha guy is pretty cool.
2006-09-19 11:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by Cold Hard Fact 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
psh! do you know what youve done? do you realise youll go to hell over this?
everyone knows that Trekkianism is the real religion! repent or thall shall suffer at the hands of Klingons and Ferengi!
Praise Picard! Jordi be with you!
2006-09-19 11:31:09 · answer #6 · answered by johnny_zondo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You asked this already.
And I answered that he will...but you gotta talk like a pirate matey! Or the great FSM lord will never be good to ye!
():-D
shadowgirl
2006-09-19 11:37:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad to learn that you finally saw the light.May the Pasta forgive you.
2006-09-19 11:33:14 · answer #8 · answered by eva b 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
FSM may grant you the beer volcano, but I doub't you'll get the stripper.
2006-09-19 11:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Arrg! Elmo, its Talk Like a Pirate Day...
2006-09-19 11:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Whatever 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋