I know its wrong but he doesnt. What to do?

Question

I know my ex is very unhappy. He dumped me and is pursuing a girl. We both know its wrong on many levels (ages of the two, different interests etc)

He is meant to be here with me, but he chose her. I can see he is losing a lot of weight and sleep. It is taking a toll on him and it has been a week since we split. Do I say something? We started talking again... He jokes around with me like old times and we are really close. Part of me thinks he wants me back but doesnt know how to go about it. Should I mention something?

To be brutally honest... He had a 'mustang' and he traded in for a 'beat up mini van...' this girl seriously... she doesnt even compare.

I helped him through so much stuff in our time together and he gave it all for some flavour of the month he just met.

So, should I proceed with caution, and act like nothing happened? Or show that I am upset and talk to him about it?

Sorry, I guess what I want to say is

Do I let him figure out he lost something good on his own and how do I do that?

Answer 1

If he really sees his error, you could maybe make it work but with caution and counseling. Make him understand you are hurt but are willing with the right steps to give it another chance. Just keep in mind, if a man cheats he's very likely to do it again. Good Luck!

Answer 2

You're gonna have to face reality, he dumped you for a reason. It may sound harsh but there has to be a reason for him doing so. If you still have feelings for him, confront him and find out why he did so in the first place. Me personally, I would not even talk to him if I still had feelings for the guy, it would be like false hope. what if he really does like this new girl, you would always be waiting on something that is never gonna be there. Do yourself a favor and don't set yourself up for getting hurt. If he still has feelings for you he will come back, until then I would just let him go and have him think about things for himself. If you really do still love him, the best thing is to move on, that way he might realize what he lost, there is truth to the old saying, you never know what you had till its gone, play it out and see what happens. I something does than it does, if it doesn't, well you'll get over it, there are plenty of fish in the sea. LOL

Answer 3

Seriously, why do you want him back? Hes traded you in for a pinto... I'm sure its simply because, for guys, no matter how good you have it, you always want something more, something different. I hardly doubt he actually likes this girl more than you, its just something different. Most likely, give him a few months and he will come crawling back to you. You should definately not say anything now before he realizes on his own. If you really want him back, just act like you dont care. Get a new boy, that'll make him realize he wants you more. When he does come back to you, then you can either take him back or not. You always want the ball in your court, not his. If you act like you're always there and he can put you on the shelf until he's bored of his flavor of the month, he will never appreciate you.

Answer 4

mustang, and pinto. So, you are just objects for him to own and drive? Sorry, but you seem to have a very low opinion about your value. You are insulting yourself as much as the other girl. If he is not driver and owner, then what is he? A car gone out of control? Then you don't want him either.
Seriously, don't have anything to do with him; get counselling for yourself regarding your self image, and then start thinking about relaitonship with another guy.

Answer 5

proceed with caution . dont hold your feeling back . cause in the long run it will hurt you at the end. if you have somthing to say than go for it. never hold back what you feel cause then your going to play the what if game and that not nice trust me be there done that . i learn the hard way . so go for it then. get out of your system and your be good to move on....

Answer 6

Seems youre not the girl for him. Youve been helping him and he's not grateful. Lots of divorces for that reason. Men get their educations and a good job while their wife sacrafices and praises and encourages just to be dumped and move on to another relationship.
Youre bf and gf...be glad you didnt have kids together. Find a guy who appreciates you.

Answer 7

Talk to him like a friend. Don't bring what you are feeling to the table yet.

Get him to tell you have he feels about her - in honesty. Just say "So, are you happy? Doing good?", then you will know what your next step should be.

If you tell him that you are upset right now, you could lose him because he will think you are being 'jealous ex-girlfriend'.

Answer 8

Part of life is learning from your mistakes. Obviously he made a big one to give up the "mustang". Don't give him a second chance because if he really loved you so much, he would not have dumped you and got with the minivan in the first place. good luck!

Answer 9

Honey let him figure this out on his own. He wanted to leave you and he did and now he has something he isn't sure he wants. When he gets bored or tired he will call you or want to talk, maybe get with you again and then dump you again....."he's just not that into you"......as long as you let yourself be available for him he will continue to use you. Go find somebody who wants to treat you better, it's not him.

Answer 10

I think you need to sort out What you want, quit comparing, get over all the stuff you did for him, sounds like you want him back to dump him, two wrongs don't make a right