My boyfriend and I recently broke up... actually, he broke up with me on my voicemail. The message said that it was hard for him, and he still loves me, but that I deserved better, and he said he was a jerk, but he cheated on me. He won't talk to me about it (I think it may be because he's scared of my reaction) and I can't go see him because he goes to a boarding school (right down the road) but there are only certain times I can go, and I don't know when they are. He told his best friend that I was too clingy, but that we never get to see each other (once a weekend usually, but we hadn't seen each other all summer). He also said that he MIGHT want to get back with me. Point being, I can't stop thinking about him. I love him with all of my heart, and he knew what he did was wrong, and he knew that he was stupid to do it, and he still loves me. Is it so wrong of me (like all of my friends say) to want to go back out with him? (I also think he might've been scared of commitment.)
2006-09-19 10:41:14 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok... so, he couldn't have broken up with me in person, like I said he goes to boarding school, and he isn't allowed off campus, and the next time he would've seen me was... in about 2 weeks. So we all know breaking up over the phone was stupid, but I suppose he didn't really have a choice.
2006-09-19 14:01:30 · update #1
if you take him back with open arms you are giving him a license to cheat. If he wants to come back he will and you have to put him on the carpet and let him know that it hurt you (even if it didn't) and that you felt betrayed (even if you don't) and it can never happen again in this lifetime or you are gone forever.
2006-09-19 10:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok so lets say he does still love you? Him loving you did not stop him from cheating on you did it? So what makes you think that he won't do it again. You can be deeply in love but if you know that it's not going to work you have to let go. I know it's hard but it's better for you to let go now and not 5 or 10 years later or 3-5 kids, there's nothing attaching you to him so I really suggest you get out of it now. Plus what he's doing is an old dogs trick, by him acting like he doesn't deserve you and making you feel as if you did something wrong, don't fall for it girl trust me. Also why are you still insisting on been with him? Ok so he cheated and he's ignoring you, aren't those obvious hints that maybe he doesn't want to be with you anymore? You should really take some time to yourself and think about this.
2006-09-19 11:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by JEJEMMY♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From what I gather, you all are pretty young and if you are having this many problems then you should try to move on. I know that is easier said then done. You mentioned that he said you were clingy. Find a hobby to do or new friends to hang out with so that you can do something other than just think about him all day. I have been there and it sucks big time. Maybe once he sees how happy you can be he will want to get back with you and by then, you will have moved on.
2006-09-19 10:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by Charlee's Mama 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you want is not "wrong" but that doesn't mean it is good for you either! You deserve to be with someone who has to be with you, kwho can't stand the thought of not being with you - even if he "loves" you, he clearly does not want to be with you enough to deserve the privilege. He did not even have the decency to break up with you in person or on the phone - when he got your VM he should have hung up or left a message and said please call me.
If none of that hits it home try this - he told someone he thinks you are clingy. If he really wanted to be with you, then you wanting to be with him would not be "clingy" it would be great and he would be excited to be with you too.
You are obviously young, there are plenty more and better where he came from. Next!
2006-09-19 10:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by kellyault20001 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You KNOW he loves you? Because he told you on your voice mail that you deserve someone better? Have you ever heard of pity? WOW. You sound like my friend...the only reason she lives is to make his life miserable because she lost his baby TWICE because of him. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! He cheated honey~~doesn't that speak louder than his "love" for you? When you love someone you think of their feelings first...(most of the time) He didn't. Wow. I do have another thing to tell you though...It won't take you 1 or 2 weeks to move on..it could take you years. But once the guy you're meant to talk to comes along? It'll be as if he never existed...as time goes by you'll see what your boyfriend was really doing. If your friends are telling you not to go back with him or even think about it then why are you resorting to strangers? They're telling you for a reason if they're real friends...Think about it. . . Take care. And good luck with your ultimate decisions...
2006-09-19 10:52:46 · answer #5 · answered by LadyD 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont go back to him,ONCE A PLAYER always a player!
i had past experiences where i got hurt from my ex-s cheating on me,they said they would never do it again and they did,i almost came to the point where i didnt trust men anemore,but not all men are bad its the same with females,but there must be a nice guy out there for you,i know LOVE hurts,ive been threw relationships that hurt so bad....but hun its your heart and your life so if you go back to him ,
i wouldnt,id go out and find a new man,well not right away but you will get over him,time heals,sorry!
2006-09-19 10:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by ~$#xyMammA~ 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know, it must hurt you, but you have to let go of him. He was to chicken to tell you in person and left you a voice mail instead. He pretty much told you its over and the love thing is just B.S. He is right, you deserve much better, but remember don't be so clingy with your next boyfriend, because this is a big turn off.
2006-09-19 10:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Friends are correct, don't go back to him, he dumped you over voice mail, he cheated on you and if you go back to him then it is like saying what he did was OK. I take it that you are young, there will be others, just leave him alone and take this time for yourself and look at how things might have went wrong, learn from them and move on. Good luck.
2006-09-19 10:48:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No . When a guy cheats he'll always cheat. Sorry to sound to harsh . But if he really loved you he wouln't have cheated on you in the first place. Find someone who really loves you and someone who wont cheat on you. But it's really your call. If you still care for him. You can get back with him. . But it will be hard to trust him agian. I hope you make the right choice. And hope everything will work out.
2006-09-19 10:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, he is a loser for breaking up with you over the phone (voicemail) that is like the most immaturist way of breaking off a relationship, and second if he cheated on you he doesn't have enough respect for you. Just move on.
2006-09-19 10:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by cremedelacreme 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't get it.
I cheat on one of my GF's once, and she nearly killed me. We still don't talk to this day, and that was like 7 years ago.
... yet, a dude admits to cheating, breaks up with you OVER THE FREAKING PHONE, says you can do better, tells his friends that you were "clingy" (that's an insult, btw), and says he MIGHT want to get back with you.
I don't get it. Why do I only attract women with backbones?!
... anyway, you care about him. He's made a very obvious choice that he is unsure that he wants to be with you, AND HAS TOLD YOU AS MUCH.
Love? Damn that. What's love got to do with it? Let him go until he can commit to you. He hasn't come back to you yet.
2006-09-19 10:50:17 · answer #11 · answered by kagetatewaki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋