Yesterday I called my bf and he was very mad, not at me but at the traffic and the fact that he was very very late for work and that at his company for every 5 mn late, you stay 1 extra hour (yes ! that sucks!)
Well the problem is he stareted cursing and saying very vulgar and gross things(Not cursing at me but about the traffic, his life etc..)
(I dunno about other cultures but in my country it's very very unnacceptable to say that to the face of a girl or a woman)
I got upset and asked him quietly when he calmed down "please don't talk like this when I am around, this is not a manner to talk to ur gf) he said "ok maybe I did smthng wrong" but I insisted politely that he never talks like this in my presence,he got madder and asked to finish the call by saying"all right all right bye now bye talk to u later". And he didn't call back...
WHOS WRONG HERE? WHY GUYS NEVER APOLOGIZE???
Ps:
I am on a long distance relationship
2006-09-19 10:38:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for those who answered , any other oints of views are welcome
AND I WANTED TO REMIND SOME OF YOU THAT HE DED NOTTTT CURSE AT ME BUT ONLY CURSED A LOT A LOT AND COULDN'T STOP EVEN AFTER I ASKED HIM TO ;)
2006-09-19 10:48:22 · update #1
so I guess he just wanted some support and I didn't give him what he wanted.. we were both stupid
2006-09-19 11:58:17 · update #2
Nobody's wrong, he was just mad at traffic, work, life, etc. and then he was mad at himself for disrespecting you. Now he feels stupid. Just call him and let him know everything is okay, and things will work themselves out from there.
2006-09-19 10:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by noambition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was venting and you turned it into something about you so that probably pretty much pissed him off even more. Your not wrong for sticking up for yourself but it probably could have waited untill another day when he was in a good mood and able to accept how you felt. Some times guys just need to vent plain and simple just like us women do. Finding a way to be supportive with out giving him the feeling that you don't care about how he is feeling would be a good idea. That is probably why he hung up and did not call back, his termoil in traffic was a big deal to him and you just denied him the right to deal with it.
2006-09-19 18:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by rosesnrain324 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't generalise this one act to the entire male race, not every single man in the world is like that. I'm a man and I'll happily apologise to my girlfriend if I'm wrong or sometimes, just to keep her happy and to stop the arguments. Sometimes you gotta let things go, right?
Your boyfriend is in the wrong because he shoudn't of shouted and such. I don't know what he said but obviously it has deeply offended you. If you want to discuss it further with him, make sure you pull him aside when he is calm and explain how you feel - not in a patronising way, of course.
Maybe he will apologise, if he really loves you.
(Oh, and long distance relationships are trouble. They rarely ever work)
2006-09-19 17:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are wrong.
Talk like this is not a drama!!Everyone use vulgar words sometimes, its the life in 21th century!
Yes, its not pretty, and sometimes it miss of respect but im sure that he dont wanted to hurt you but he was in a very bad situation and he surely more need help and understanding instead of a prude attitude!
I understand that in your culture it can be unnacceptable but try to understand him and to take his place ;)
2006-09-19 17:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by Titisse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a guy is pissed off the last thing he wants to hear is a lecture from you. You would have been much better off to wait and talked about it later after he calmed down.
I'm not saying he was right..just that you would have gotten a more receptive response if you had waited.
2006-09-19 17:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by Jim R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I learned this with my boyfriend. Whe he is mad for whatever reason I just leave him alone and wait for him to calm down. If I keep pushing for whatever or if we argue for something and I keep insisting he might say something he will later regret or I just wont like, so I just leave him alone.
I think you just got your bf at the wrong time, and you just keep insisting in something that wasnt a matter of importance for him at the time.
2006-09-19 17:43:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In fights like this is really doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. When it comes to that, the fight just gets worse.
He shouldn't be talking to you that way, but you can't blame him. He was definately in a bad mood, and was trying to just rant to you, and you got on his case about how he was talking to you. Yes, you were perfectly valid in saying this -- and you're right, it was rude to talk like that in front of you, but I think you should just cut him some slack. I'm sure he was really stressed at the moment.
2006-09-19 17:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by kachelsachel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, u need to be a little bit moreunderstanding to the point that he was very upset. let it Go!!!!!! He was under stress big time, but that is no excuse!!!
He does need to apploigize to u tho!!!
2006-09-19 17:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by Nanniekc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough distance. Get rid of that one. Mad at traffic enough to have a fight. That guy is problems.
2006-09-19 17:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by Jimfix 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it may be vulgar in your culture but here you are considered his girlfriend and he was having a horrible day and thought it safe to vent his frustrations to you. he should apologize but you should try and be more supportive as well..good luck always-----nonners
2006-09-19 17:44:09 · answer #10 · answered by nonners1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋