should i let my boyfriend do this.........? HELP PLEASE??

Question

me and my boyfriend are in highschool, and we're a good couple. he's good to me, and i'm good to him, and it's all good. everyone thinks we're perfect for each other. he has tried to have sex with me before, but i told him no each time because i wasnt ready, and he understood. he was a little disapointed, but he understood.

so anyway, he just recently went away for 2 weeks 500 miles away, visiting family. i really miss him, and we're talking online every night. he randomly told me online that he was really horny and asked if i would cyber with him?

i always thought that was sick.. but i guess since he's my boyfriend and stuff?

what should i do?
what if i do it and it gives him the idea that i want to have sex when he gets home?
HELP HELP HELP?

Answer 1

Be definite and straight forward...

Answer 2

If you still like him and still want to be with him...try to be a little aggressive, but kind. Tell him that you're not into that kind of stuff and that you rather have the real thing one day when you're ready. When he comes around, grows up a little, he'll realize that you not giving in was actually a very smart and mature thing to do and he'll respect you more and treat you better. He'll view you as a classy girl instead of a s*ut. Guys secretly don't like girls who give in easily...in the long run...

Answer 3

The answer is don't do it. You're having these doubts because you know there's something in you that says this is wrong.

Here's what makes it wrong: Every time you do something that demeans you like this, it devalues you in your own opinion, and in the opinion of everyone around you.

Let's say you do the cyber thing - or you go all the way with this boyfriend. What happens when the two of you break up? (And most likely, just being in high school and all, you will) He'll most likely tell his friends what he got to do with you, and suddenly others will start showing an interest in dating you, but with the wrong expectation: They'll be looking to get their rocks off (so to speak), and you'll be looking for someone to really love you and that you can love in return. And you'll be setting yourself up for a long line of let downs, disappointments, and real hurt.

Not to mention that sex outside of marriage is still risky business. There are no guarantees against pregnancy, herpes, AIDS, you name it. Today, sex with the wrong person and without the proper protection in place can kill. This is a new age we live in babe, and all the cover magazines and pop idols and images you see on tv haven't caught up yet....they don't tell you like it really is.

Don't think you can buy love by hopping into bed (or hopping on-line.) If anything, you'll be setting yourself up for a fall. He's gonna start looking down on you because he'll know you compromised yourself for something you already told him you weren't ready for. You'll start looking down on yourself, because you're gonna basically feel like a tramp for compromising to do what you know within yourself isn't the thing to do.

Think about the person you want to marry someday - do you want that person hopping into bed with everyone he dates, or getting into things on-line that are designed to humiliate and belittle the people who get caught up in that sort of thing?

Probably not.

Well, do the same for him, and for yourself. Don't buy into the lie that "if it feels good, do it", and the other lie that says "everyone else is doing it so I may as well do it to." You'll be sorry you did - you'll start looking down on yourself and so will all the others because as I already said, sex doesn't guarantee love. It doesn't even guarantee you a good time. It does guarantee way more trouble and grief than you want to take on when you start having sex because it's just the thing to do with whoever you happen to be with for now.

Love yourself enough to W*A*I*T. Trust me, he's already taking care of the horny thing without any help from you....don't humiliate yourself by doing something you know is wrong and demeaning to you. You deserve respect, but this doesn't come automatically. Respect has to be earned, and the only way we can do that is to respect ourselves FIRST.

Love you - you'll get it figured out! Keep asking before you start leaping....

Answer 4

Well cyber sex isnt the same as actual sex... Do you know what cyber sex consists of? its basically mutual masturbation, Most people would say if you do it your crazy, but I think that if you two love eachother he will respect your decision to not have sex when he gets back,, and who knows after your cyber sex encounter maybe you'll realize your actually ready to have sex with him.

Good luck though... hope it all works out.

Answer 5

If you don't want to, don't do it. Never let someone talk you into something you aren't comfortable doing. Just tell him you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing and you'd rather not. If he REALLY cares about you, he'll be understanding and back off.

cyber isn't my thing, so I know where you're coming from.

Answer 6

Why wouldnt you??? If anything your BF is just going to be like I have the BEST GF ever.....nothing bad can come of it :-) And it will make you guys feel even more comfortable around each other

Answer 7

Dont do something that feels wrong to you. If he loves you he will understand and respect you for it. dont do anything because you dont want to or just to keep him from getting upset with you. Respect yourself. He has a hand if he is horney tell him to use it.

Answer 8

Don't do anything you don't want to do, it's as simple as that.
We aren't going to be there to pick up the pieces when you make your mistakes, just live your life like you believe you should.

Answer 9

If he really cares for you and you dont want to . He should stop asking that. He shouldn't be pushing you into something that he wants you to do. That you dont want to do. Just talk to him and tell him why.

Answer 10

Don't be a tease. If you ain't going to give up the cookies, then don't get his hopes up. Next question!