my real dad got in contact with me the other day and I havent seen him in 13 years. He asked me to meet up with him and I told him I would only do it at town hall where there are people around who work with people my age. He agreed to it but then the day of the meeting I waited for him for 1 hour and he didnt show...
He abused me when I was 2 years old so I have never trusted him, so I am wondering why he wanted to meet up but then never showed.
Do you think he had something planned but he couldnt go ahead with it because social services were there?
Do you think he should give him a second chance?
Am I just being foolish about this whole thing?
Please, honest answers...
2006-09-19 09:58:12 · 18 answers · asked by blondie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It was sexual and physical abuse
2006-09-20 02:50:38 · update #1
First of all I think he chickend out. Why? Maybe because he thinks you're older and sexier etc. and is still a sick bastard who only wanted on thing and you know exactly what that one thing is. Or maybe he really just wants to see his daughter and ask your forgiveness for what he did to you those many years ago. Who knows. I do commend you for not wanting to meet him alone and in a public place. Try this meet him but don't tell him you're not going to be alone. Get some big strong guy friends from school on the football team for example to escort you so that if any thing bad happens they can be there to defend you. Good luck. Yes maybe give him a second chance up to you totally of course. Sorry he did that to you no girl deserves sexual abuse from any one at any time whatsoever especially from her own dad. So sorry he did that. I feel for ya.
2006-09-19 10:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I'm so sorry all of this happened to you. I'm glad to see you are making it through. If not too personal was it physical or sexual abuse? I'm not sure how to answer you. I've been through both. Through physical abuse depending on how bad, I can say that I have forgiven my father because he got help for his alcohol abuse. I was also sexually abused by a family member, who has grown up and changed their ways and now has a family of their own, but I have been apologized to numerous times, and have found it in my heart to forgive, but I will never forget. I was sexually abused by a non family member, and an apology was never given though he did serve jail time, as for him, he can rot. If it was sexual abuse with your father, has he gotten help? If it was physical abuse, has he gotten help? I would suggest meeting at another place to see if your relationship with him is repairable. Next time he calls, tell him to meet you at a counseling office. I think that would be the best thing to do..Good luck in all you do sweetie.
2006-09-19 17:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mother of One 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being foolish. First of all, men are cowards, thats why God gave women the ability to have children. Sounds like he chickened out because of the past. I would give him a chance only if he contacted me first and met on my terms only. I Be firm and very blunt when stating what you want. Ask him what's up. Direct questions get direct answers.... most of the time.
2006-09-19 17:06:30 · answer #3 · answered by Sonyja 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being foolish. It is odd that he didn't show up. Whatever reason that he didn't isn't ur fault. Maybe he will contact you at a later time. I wouldn't trust him either. Just keep going on with ur life, he has to live with his mistakes. Just think about ur future and what you want out of ur life. That is what I would do!
2006-09-19 17:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sure he did want to see you if he went through the trouble of contacting you, he probly got scared and left because of social services for whatever reason. Sounds like your smart by not agreeing to be alone with him.
2006-09-19 17:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by James 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a weird one. Any father would do anything to reunite with children. this guy is just not all there. im sorry but try again but do not meet him alone and do not walk away from crowd.
yes a second chance later is ok.
im glad u saw him at least blondie.
2006-09-19 17:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by Necat T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i could easily say forgive & forget but what is ur heart telling u? its strange how hes not been around then he show up? feeling guilt he might have been but not showing when u made the effort is the sign of a coward. i would never REPEAT NEVER speak 2 him again. p.s ur not being foolish, just realistic.
2006-09-19 17:02:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just being his irresponsible self, and isn't making his priorities right. Otherwise, he wouldn't have agreed to the meeting. I'd stay away from him. Its not like he has anything to offer after all these years!
2006-09-19 17:01:26 · answer #8 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable but if you decide to meet up with him you are doing the right thing by making sure it is in a crowded area but also please take a friend or two or ten with you.
2006-09-19 17:02:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may have been terrified to see your reaction at seeing him after all these years. He may have feared rejection. It's up to you if you want to give him another chanch. I would ask him what gives? Don't invest to much emotion in this, you may end up getting hurt.
2006-09-19 17:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by bramblerock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋