Is this the worlds funnies joke?

Question

A study was made by scientists to find the worlds funniest joke. Below is the on they picked. Can you find a better one? Post your jokes below.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Answer 1

mickey mouse goes to see his solicitor about his pending divorce from minnie - he asks the solicitor why it is taking so long to get the divorce to which the solicitor replies - it's very hard to get a divorce on the grounds that minnie has buck teeth - to which mickey replies - i didn't say she had buck teeth - i said she was f**king goofy

Answer 2

haha that's funniest but i'm not sure that could be the world's funniest? well here's one i really liked:

The CIA was recruited female employees and today was the final test. There were only three applicants left. The recruiter led the first woman towards a room and hands her a gun. He says "Your husband is sitting in this room and tied to a chair. I want you to take this gun and shoot him dead." The woman is hesitant but still goes in. She enters the room and closes the door. 2 minutes later, she emerges crying and says "I'm sorry I just can't do it!" and the man says "Then you're just not cut out for the CIA".
The secon woman approaches the room and is told the same thing. She enters the room, but she also emerges crying because she couldn't bring herself to kill her husband. The third woman is led to the room and is told the exact same thing too. She goes in to the room and the man hears a "click". Then he hears the husband crying and screaming and hitting and punching. The woman emerges covered in blood and says "Damn gun was filled with blanks! I had to beat the bastard to death with the chair."

Answer 3

I wouldnt like to argue with the scientists and it did make me laugh BUT I didn't pee myself which ,for me,is always the decider so i would have to say it aint the funniest joke in the world.BEST ONE I HEARD is this , A dwarf goes into a brothel and before he gets down to business with a young lady he attaches four springs to himself one on each foot and one on each hand. He then climbs on top and goes for gold!! When he finishes the tart says wow that was the best sex i ever had what was it?? 'Four_ sprung dwarf technique' he replied.

Answer 4

Silverback Gorilla walks into a bar requests a pint barman pours a pint, sitting at the bar was a beautiful groundsheet meaning a lady of the night she said to Gorilla you speak and drink beer gee, I can do anything he said.can you perform sex she said,can I huh nobody can beat me,lets go to my room then,sorry I gotta eat before sex,I will cook you a meal cmon, aw ok then so up he goes and gets a big slapup steak meal after finishing into bed has his nonsense then jumps out of bed,walking to the door the lady shouts hey do you know what prostitute means throwing him dictionary, look it up,mmm yes said Gorilla a woman who lives off immoral earnings, throwing it back, look up gorilla, she read out the meaning, Gorilla- eats shoots and leaves.

Answer 5

Surely that can't be the funniest joke in the world - wasn't that one shown in an episode of Monty Python and couldn't be released to the general public, as they'd die of laughter???

Answer 6

Right, let's see if I get this right (with NO apologies to any Chelsea fans out there)

Frank Lampard hasn't turned up for training one week, so Jose BigBoss rings him up.

"Hey, Frank. Why-a you no turn up for a-training today?"

"Boss, I'm trying to do this tiger puzzle and it's really,really difficult"

"Well, bring-a it in, and we'll all help you finish it"

Frank turns up at the training ground next day with his puzzle.
Jose takes one look at it and says:



"Putta the Frosties back in the box, Frank"

Answer 7

I don't normally understand jokes, I did however understand that one but still didnt laugh.......although my girlfriend did, so maybe it is the worlds funnest joke, maybe I just dont have a sence of humour.

My fav joke is.

Q:Why did the girl fall off the swing

A:Because she had no arms.


My girlfriends fav jokes is..........

'there is 2 stawberries in a bath and one says to the other ....'can you pass me the shampoo'
and the other one replys
'do I look like a toaster'


(I don't get that one either but she finds it amazingly funny!)

Answer 8

No. It is not the funniest. I have a list of jokes. Some are funnier; others are not.

Answer 9

Thta's funny, but it didn't really crack me up. This one did:
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Answer 10

I remember that being on the news. It's not the funniest I've ever heard, no - but it's quite amusing.