okay this is kind of embarassing. my bf and i had sex for the first time last night. we are both experienced people, so it wasn't a big deal. but my bf has anxiety or something because he was um... having difficulty with his um... okay he couldn't keep it up. actually he couldn't get it up period. the thing is that it was still so amazing for me, not pleasure wise but i was just sooo happy to be with him. but he was really embarassed and we had sex even though he was soft. he said once he gets past the first time he's fine he just gets nervous the first time. ladies, if he continues to have difficulty what can i do to help him out? how can i make him more comfortable? has anyone, including guys, been in a similar situation? i loved being with him and it was so special, but.... oh i don't know.... i just need an outside voice.
2006-09-19 09:46:23 · 25 answers · asked by 1 Hott Mami 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Figure out why he's so nervous,and do everything in your power to put his mind at ease.
Stroke his ego a bit. Among other things. >:)
We guys are under tremendous pressure to perform, and the first time is like the yardstick for which all other encounters are judged (in our minds, anyway). If he was that anxious to put on a mindblowing show for you, to ensure you were satisfied in every way possible, that it made him too nervous to perform...
... he must really like you.
Go with that. I bet you he tries to make up for it on the second attempt, so you better get ready.
2006-09-19 09:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by kagetatewaki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is hilarious!
I'm a guy and the same thing happened to me two years ago! We went to a party and I got a hotle room and it was all set up. So we start fooling around and everything happens except....THAT!
It wouldn't work!
WOW was I embarrassed. So I told her that this was something new...and I couldn't understand it.....It would have been our first time together....
So, What does a girl say?
She gave me another chance and this time it went ok but I never felt so stupid before...either I was tired, had too much wine or apprehensive (I just got divorced so I was new to the "scene"). She was understanding and accepted my answers, apologies, etc. But I still wonder what was really going on in her mind......
the good news is two years later we are still "an item"
2006-09-19 16:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is being honest. Give him another chance, I'm sure it will be amazing the next time. If I were you, I would plan something extra special for him the next time you get together. Get a nice hotel room, or get a new outfit that you can wear just for him, or just anything that you two can share that he will enjoy and appreciate. But don't make it like "I'm doing this to get you up." sort of thing, you know what I mean. Just tell him that you really care about him and wanted to do something special for him.
2006-09-19 16:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by Snow 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The more he worries about it the more likely he will continue to be soft. As he said this usually happens his first time so wait and see what happens the next time. There is not much you can do except make him feel comfortable. The rest is up to him and his mind.
2006-09-19 16:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just give it timne. Sometimes if a guy is really tired or nervous it can take a while to get it up. Just help him out with a handjob or bj that should do the trick. If that dosen't work try talking dirty to him while having sex. That always dose the trick for me.
2006-09-19 16:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tyson E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-boyfriend had the same problem. It would never get hard. I would go down on him forever and one time I got frustrated and said I was tired. He said, "You give up to fast!" I had did it for almost an hour! Oh yeah, he never went down on me. Now i can say that don't settle for a limp noodle, unless of course he pleasures you.
2006-09-19 16:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AH-HAH ......What we have here is a case of STAGEFRIGHT, jake the snake didnt want to come out and play??well it sounds like he was scared and he wasnt at all wanting any action! Why????you ask ??B-cuz hes a prude!!All talk no action!!next time tell him that hes gonna have to give himself the ol five knuckle shuffle to get things started!!dont take no 4 an answer!!
2006-09-19 16:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all i respect u treating that matter the way u did and i think he love the fact u didn't laugh, but next time try to use more foreplay alittle something different(oral performance) may help if not see a dr.
2006-09-19 16:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by happy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up on him. I think that both of you need to spend more time together getting to know each other better in other ways.
2006-09-19 16:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by lovnlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya right, he probably unload before meeting you....either earlier in day or day before. If he didnt, then ive heard that guys remain soft throughout because mind is convinced that this just not arrousing.
2006-09-19 16:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Necat T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋