2006-09-19 09:34:41 · 26 answers · asked by myruin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yes, it shows that you don't trust him. What's wrong with him getting with his friends to celebrate the up-coming marriage? It's not as if he's going to get so drunk and sleep with the stripper (if there even is one).
Have you given him your reasons for you not wanting him to go? Are they valid reasons? If he wants to go, you can't stop him and you shouldn't hold him back from it.
2006-09-19 09:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jules 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Before you decide, remember this: Strippers are not prostitutes. He might get an eye full, but that's all he will get. There is a strict hands-off policy with strippers. He can't touch them, let alone cheat.
That being said, let him have some fun with the guys and trust him to behave. The worst that can happen is that he gets a little too drunk, or spends a little too much money on tips for the girls. There is nothing that will happen for you to feel jealous or insecure over. Besides, since he's not the "bachelor" the attention from the girls won't be on him, it will be on the groom-to-be. He will just be along for the show. Any lap dances or other things will pretty much be reserved for the other guy. Let his fiance worry about him :-)
Maybe if you can, go out with the girls that night. You will have something to distract you from what your husband is doing, and you won't be spending your night worrying. Bachelorette party or not, there are ways to spend the time having as much fun as he will be having.
If you still aren't happy about the idea, talk to him. Ask him how he would feel about you going to a male strip club with your women friends. He might see your point of view and stay home.
2006-09-19 09:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong? Only if you let it drive you, but it does tell me that you're insecure.
Do you trust your husband?
If you do, then you should have no worries. He isn't going to cheat on you.
If you don't, then you are going to have a lifetime of stress. Everytime a new coworker is spoken about, you'll wonder if he's cheating. Everytime he goes out with the guys, you'll question his intentions.
Why put yourself through that?
Without trust, you can't commit. Without a commitment, you can't have a strong and healthy realtionship!
Let him go--trust him! If there are strippers, so be it! He isn't going to leave you for a stirpper. He married YOU for a good reason! You have a husband who loves and respects you, and letting him celebrate his friend's last night of freedom isn't a bad thing. Trust him to make the right decision.
Have you spoken with him about how you feel about his going to a bachelor party? Do so, before you make any rash judgements.
2006-09-19 11:50:53 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all women cringe at the thought of their husbands with a stripper in their lap... But if you trust your husband, you should know that anything at a bachelor party will be harmless fun. And he will come home to you... Probably rilled up and wanting some loving from his wife. Let him go, you should go out with the girls and have some fun too.
2006-09-19 09:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not at all.
I see other answers with some crap about how much you should trust him to not be turned on by a naked woman. He'd have to be gay for that to be realistic.
Personally, I would never be comfortable with my husband going to a private party where strippers will be "performing"...I have heard direct stories about these women, and they often do MUCH more than just take their clothes off (I guess Welches hasn't heard much about what really happens). In a club, where they're monitored by bouncers, I might be okay with it.
I fully expect my husband to decline any such invitation, because he would never want to put me in the position of having to feel uncomfortable about it.
I can promise you that I would never go to a place that put my husband in this situation, in the reverse.
2006-09-19 10:32:18 · answer #5 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wrong may be too harsh of a word but I don't think you should stop him from going. He'll lose face with his friends and resent you for it. Also if you don't trust him, or are so insecure that you need to control his life, then your marriage isn't going to work out. Get some counseling to find out what the problem is.
2006-09-19 17:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends - do you not trust your husband? Becuase that is a separate problem all it's own. If he's going to a strip club, remember that it is just eye candy. He is coming home to you. If you think he will get unruly our out of control then you need to talk to him about it.
I don't think it's wrong. My fiance has been to several bachelor parties since we've been together and I have never had a problem with it. I trust him and I know his friends are good guys.
2006-09-19 09:43:57 · answer #7 · answered by PT&L 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Feelings are not right or wrong. Just don't fight about it. Are you secure enuf with yourself and with your marriage that he will behave himself? That's all you need to focus on. I have a wonderful relationship with my fiance and I try to spend as much time with him as I can, but I know he needs his "male bonding time" (that's what I call it). If he decides he wants to participate in something like that, I tell him "call me when you're on your way home"-period.
I did make it clear to him before we go engaged that I was not stupid. I can ask him to be faithful, but that doesn't mean he will if he doesn't want to. So, I also told him, just be sure if you do, it's the best you've ever had and it was worth losing me for.
With that disclaimer out there, I let my insecurity go. I know I'm a good woman and I'm sure you are too. If he's a good man, let him go without your guilty and worries on him and everything will be fine! Hope this help!!
2006-09-19 10:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it is perfectly normal to cringe when you think about bachelor parties and having your husband go to them, it is not bad to not want him to go, however, you should be able to trust him enough to let him go even if you don't like it.
I hate it when my husband's friends ask him to go to bachelor parties, but then again, even though I truly hate strippers I try to understand that it is part of male bonding for him to be out with his friends before they marry, when he comes home I don't drill him about it and eventually he starts telling me bits and pieces of the whole thing and even makes me laugh with the stories.
We have one rule: NO TOUCHING OR LAP DANCES...lol, whether he follows it or not I don't know, but the fact that the rule exists and that consequences will arise if he breaks it is enough I think.
The conclusion is: Hate the Bachelor Party, Trust your man.
2006-09-19 09:50:49 · answer #9 · answered by White 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the Bachelor party will include strippers or things like that, then no I don't think you're wrong to not want your husband to go. I wouldn't want mine to go, though... my husband would decline to go on his own, I wouldn't have to ask him.
2006-09-19 09:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by starsmoak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends. if its just guy stuff, like hanging out, drinking or whatever.. then i'd let him go. but if it's the "stripper" thing.. even if u do trust him, still on his part its disrespectful. some soon to be wives dont care, some do. but this is BOTH of you.. my hubby does not want anything to do with that junk, he is very faithful to me, and so i never have reason to doubt him. but i would not wont some nasty hoe dance on my baby's lap. period. i think that if he knows u dont like it, then he will do the rite thing- and maybe do something different, but no it is not wrong depending on the situation... f*ck insecurity.. but like i said, to me that would be disrespectful..
just my 2 cents:
2006-09-20 18:56:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋