ADD and Punishment?

Question

I have a 16 year old son who has ADD. He takes adderal. The problem is that even with adderal, when he gets home he spends his time messaging and doing everything other than his schoolwork. We sent him to a private school this summer so he could develop good study skills which seemed to work at least until the end of the summer session when he started to slip.

I suggested to my wife that the only way we can get him to recognize that the computers in the house are for work and not play is to eleminate his access to them. He can still walk to the library and use computers there. Once he shows improvement, we can have access to the home machines.

Thoughts on this approach please.

Answer 1

My husband has ADD and was on Adderall for a year. It was horrible. He could read a book without playing Metallica or Pantera, but no time management, organization or even memory help. Those need to be learned from counseling and getting into a routine. It also made him very edgy, anxious and at times violent. I would suggest finding a counselor/psychiatrist who really specializes in treating ADD. There are so many people in the mental health industry that really don't understand ADD. It is very hard because you can't come across like you are disciplining him. That will make him less cooperative and pull away from you. He probably already feels like he has something wrong with him, so he needs all the support he can get. Also, try checking out an ADD support group in your area or even online for him to get involved with. It might be a good idea for you guys to try it for yourselves as parents also. You can share experiences of what has worked and what hasn't. Let me know if you need more information. Good Luck!

Also, there was a post above me that bothered me. His acting out is not because he is trying to control and manipulate you, but because he doesn't know how to control himself. That is very scary for a child to feel like that, and it gets worse as they get into adulthood because it is assumed that they should be able to have self-control. I'm not saying you can't set rules, but just be careful because their perception of things is different.

Answer 2

Well, I'm an individual who has ADHD as well- not due to my excessive intake of caffeine, lol- and that's an EXCELLENT approach!

In high school, I could get easily distracted. Homelife wasn't all that good, so I packed up my word processor and walked a half mile to the library each night for three hours and did stuff. It was a good education experience, and developed a good study ethic too.

People who suffer from this condition can get very easily distracted, and it comes in to prominence even more and more with the information we are bombarded with on a daily basis. It can cause serious problems if left untreated for long enough.

This can be corrected through a variety of means. Personally, I don't like the idea of punishment in this case, unless your son is going out of his way to deceive and hurt others. Thats worht punishing. But being distracted by simple games or other things definitatly does need corrective action. The library can be a good route.

Of course, there can be distractions at the library too. I got bored and started reading Vonnegut and the daily news papers. There are less bad distractions there for the most part. It still requires that you make sure he's doing what he is supposed to be doing, even if that means seeing his homework. I'm an adult and I want to make sure people see what work i've been doing.

And if he gives you an attitude about that, THAT deserves punshiment.

You can also passowrd protect the computer and the internet through a variety of programs. If he is 16 and you have the internet, it is your responsibilty as the parents to know how the machine works better than the kid. Or at least enough to make sure he isn't doing anything stupid. There are a variety of programs available for this. Programs that restrict the internet like NetNanny and also porgrams that give screen caputres on a regular basis. got to www.download.com to find out the latest.

The bottom line is that it takes persistance and a healthy attitude. Both aren't always easy, put it does pay off in the long run.

Answer 3

First, move the computer to the family room and out of his room. Then have an access code that you and wife know so he cannot use it.

When he has to use the computer for school work/homework you then turn it on, etc.

I bet you could find a way to block his messaging, too.

You are the parent and you should be in control. ADD and Adderal do not solve the problem of a teenager attempting to be in control and breaking the rules as a means of maturation.

Also, he should not be allowed to leave the house to go somewhere on a school night unless it is required by his teacher. He should have everything he needs at home.

Good luck.

Answer 4

you will have a factor, yet i think of there's a miles less egocentric difficulty too at play: many human beings (if no longer each and every physique) have witnessed a genuine jerk or maybe an 'evil' form person escape with their crap & in no way EVER look to could desire to pay for it. We even have ordinary, or possibly even individually experienced, the unfair fringe of existence the place undesirable issues shop piling on sturdy human beings. you be attentive to, that genuine candy person you are going to be attentive to who in no way catches a destroy, or purely the properly-known Joe who retains getting smacked down by existence? it may actual be a convenience to cajole your self that all and sundry which unfairness would be righted some day....i will see the way it could make it much less stressful to stand the day believing that some sort of authentic justice exists & that the in charge would be punished & the downtrodden will finally win....understanding that may not the case can take the wind out of your sails some days, a minimum of i discover that. i will think of that the early roots of this way of questioning is going all the until now to a pair cave mom attempting to console her baby who purely found out that existence sucks....and in an attempt to lead them to sense extra constructive "what is going around comes around" replaced into born. i individually used to believe that replaced into authentic, that issues could come back, sturdy or undesirable, to you....adventure says no longer continuously, no longer just about adequate. playstation : (((Nikon)))

Answer 5

my son can only use thing like video games and online games on the week ends. He has to earn the right to use them during the week this year. we have struggled like you for years. this year we started by him earning it instead of taking it away. I see nothing wrong with setting limits tothe things that distract an ADD child fromtheir studies. the issue is ........getting them to follow the limitations at that age.

Answer 6

theres a way to block that stuff also be right there while hes doing thw work and make shure he is doing it...