why do people cheat????????

Question

I had asked a question a moment ago about getting over getting cheatd on. Someone responed i must of pushed him away. i dont believe i did anything wrong. i didnt cheat and would not. [The rest of my answers were helpfull] What im getting at why do people cheat? Or am i asking a quetion that has no answer?

Answer 1

Love the answers, ladies (and the precious few guys).

Since I've seen it from both sides (and I care not of your opinion of me, those of you who have answered previously), I'm best qualified to answer.

Are you ready? Here it is:

THERE IS NO ANSWER.

Cheaters cheat for many reasons. Some do it "because they can". Some do it to get something that they can't get at home, whether it's a hummer while playing videogames, someone who will go down on them in a theater, or just about anything that they feel is lacking in their current relationship. Some do it because they aren't happy in what they have, but can't bring themselves to end it. Some are impulsive and "act first, think much much later". Some do it because they no longer feel anything for the person they're with, so they consider themselves "available" (these are the worst, because in their heart of hearts they don't feel they're cheating). And so on...

You see? There are as many reasons for cheating as there are cheaters.
Thing is, though, as the one being cheated on, it hurts. It's like this person couldn't be satisfied with just you, he(or(more frequently, she) had to go out and get someone else.

You shouldn't feel that way.
If the relationship is salvageable, you need to find the reason (don't assume, and don't let up) and fix it. Most times, the problem isn't with you... so it's gonna take work. Otherwise, end it swiftly and don't look back.

Point is this: Don't dwell on the reasons, it'll drive you crazy. Cheating is a sign of a major problem in the relationship. Find what the problem is and fix it.

Answer 2

The only reasons why people cheat are:
A. Because they aren't happy in the relationship they are in but either dont want to break up with you or they like the physical benefits of the relationship (take that as you will) or
B. He's getting a little bored in the relationship and wanted to experiment. People make mistakes, and sometimes cheating is one of them. This reason is for those "one-nighter" cheating events though. If he's doing it long-term, look to A. for the answers.
People just mess up sometimes, and that's life. I guess we all have to learn our lesson sometimes, whether we're the cheater or the cheated. I'm sorry for that happening to you, dear, and I dont know much of the background on this situation, but it may or may not have been you. It most likely was both of your contributions. Don't blame yourself, and go find a guy that will love you and ONLY you!

Answer 3

People have as many different excuses for cheating as there are affairs. But what its really about is poor impulse control, inability to be an honorable person, immaturity, lack of self control, sense of entitlement, poor moral compass and lack of character. Its often just who they are. They give themselves permission to do it and are unable to recognize or care what it does to the one they claim to 'love'....some were raised in an environment where they learned its how things work...that one is somewhat bogus though because as adults we can choose who we want to be regardless of what we saw when we were growing up. Most cheaters will cheat again because its who they are, its in their nature, their character...not all will but trying to figure out which is which is really tough. I'm guessing that the person that said you pushed him away either is, or has had, an affair with a married person and listened to and believed the lame excuses they give for doing it..its how they give themselves permission to behave that way but its ALWAYS about them and sadly the fact that they value and worship their penis more than they do their partners. Its sad but its true. You didn't say whether or not you were trying to stay with him and get over it but just in case you are...

The first thing to do in a situation like this is realize there is a pattern to the healing process, first there is a lot of anger, second there may be a period when you have sex with your partner a lot in order to 'stake your claim' or win your partner back, then the real affects of what has happened set in and thats when you know whether it is something you can deal with or not. I didn't realize this and made mistakes and big decisions while still going through this process and they turned out to be the wrong decisions. I feel that if I had known about this pattern I could have seen things more clearly.

As far as continuing the relationship or not you first need to determine whether or not getting over it is something you should do. I saw 7 things that can help you determine this:

Is it an isolated incident or a pattern of behavior? (including past relationships, even if its the first time they cheated on you has he cheated on others)

Do they own it (take full blame) or make excuses for why it happened?

Do they REALLY grasp the damage they have done to you and your relationship or do they just pay it lip service?

Are they sorry for the choice or just sorry that they got caught?

Are they willing to do what it takes to clean up the mess they made, whatever it takes and however long it takes? or do they want to deny it and move on?

Is it out of character for them or are they insenstive about other things too? (respects your feelings, treats you with dignity, etc)

Is it a legacy or a new behavior? did they grow up in a family where this happened? if its what they learned thats a big clue.

Once you've gone through these and IF you determine that the answers all favor a successful relationship then you take it one day a at a time, if its a history or a pattern you leave and realize that it is the idea of the relationship that you 'love' and not the reality, surely you don't define being loved as someone that devestates you emotionally and doesn't care that they did. Finally, there is a question for you, if you reinvest yourself in this relationship and they do cheat will you be able to handle it or would you be emotionally wiped out? Never invest more than you can afford to lose. You have a lot of thinking to do, but don't worry it WILL get better and you will be ok!

Answer 4

You are asking a question no one knows the answer to. People cheat because of many different reasons. Unhappy is the one of the first reasons. Force of habit is my favorite, I have done it for a long time and never get caught so I always do it. It mainly depends on the person and the circumstances that they are put in.

Answer 5

There are a lot of reasons Cheat. They are bored with the relationship. They are just Players in the first place. They are scared to commit, so the easy way out is to Cheat, and get caught. Not enough sex, or the sex isn't good enough. I could go on. I hope this helps some.

Answer 6

Sure there is an answer to be artifically enriched by the world. Test are designed to screen out the least effectient even if they could do the job, we want the best of the best so by cheating people can be enriched.

However if they have a castostrohic failure they are libel for it. SO in essence cheaters truely never when, they just get by for a while.

Answer 7

Who ever said that gave you the wrong infomation. People cheat because they are insecure. They always feel like they are not getting something from one person when it is the other way around. They are not giving all they can to one person. They always cheat then blame it on the one they cheated on. It is not your fault. They are not ready for the type of love you are willing to give so just save it for someone who is ready. Trust me, I've been cheated on and it is not fun. But once I figured out that I had to not give my all to every man I met but hold out for a while and see what his intentions are I found my husband and we've been married for 6 years now. So just wait on THE ONE because he does exsist.

Answer 8

I think perhaps people 'cheat' as a way of coping with a present situation. Did you ever hear of the expression, "some rules are meant to be broken"? If someone is trying to move forward in whatever it may be, for example, immigration...trying to find a way of life that's better for themselves and their loved ones...people break rules to survive or get ahead. Look into each particular reason for breaking the rule and be less judgemental lest you find yourself throwing the first stone.

Answer 9

Many reasons: Because they're not with the right person. Because they think they're missing out on something else that is lacking in their current relationship. Because they're curious. Because they're attracted to more than one person (which is normal). If it's a genuine lapse of good judgement and a sincere mistake, then the cheater may be worth taking back. Otherwise, consider it to be a way in which they have closed the door on you, but opened the door for you to find the RIGHT person in your life.

Answer 10

Well it could be that the person that cheated on you did not get what he desired at home.
Or maybe they like the excitement of getting caught.
Or maybe it is just them, they like variety, they might be young and don't want the committed life.
You know, maybe if there was better communication then it could be talked about. Not recriminations, but I need to understand and what could we do together that would help us.