HELP! ive been dumped but he wont say why!looked like things were perfect!what should I do next??

Question

ive been dumped by a great guy and dont know whywriting to a guy several months then after meeting 1 time he dumped me. he wouldnt give me a reason just said all these nice things about me and it had nothing to do with me. and wrote not to ask him why. but he is still looking for girls every single day!! i dont know what happened that day and in every way we were perfect for each other. should i call or write? i figure if i do he may not answer the truth. i think when people say this, it is a lie because if he really thought the problem was him, he wouldnt still be looking!!! but ive not been able to find anyone even close to him and i dont want to see anyone else ever. what a mess!!!!! everyone says they dont understand why im still single so why did this happen. my one chance and i blew it!!! but all he did was do all the talking and he didnt hardly ask me any questions ??? why??please help any advice would be great. not knowing is killing me because i figure it must all be my fault.

ps he didnt have a problem with my looks i know that we knew what we looked like way before

Answer 1

Move on, dont waste you time trying to figure out why he dumped you.

Answer 2

Anytime we cannot answer a question, we always look in the mirror and put the blame there, its human nature. I can tell you what most people will say, that is there is more fish in the sea and your young, you will find someone else. Although this does not help the pain now, I know. The reality is that in life, you need to always focus on improving yourself. You did this over time and you learn from mistakes. But when relationships end, the reality is that the problem is not something your going to fix, rather someone’s heart has changed. With this being the case, the reality is that the pain will be around until you find someone new or you see something to the other person that you real hate now. So what you need to focus on is not trying to getting him back, this will make things worse. Rather cut the ties 100%, not 99.999%. If you do not, it will only be worse. Then plan your time in your day, so you are not sitting at home by yourself. Stay busy and in time, the pain will decrease and when that occurs, you will start to take interest in another person. Let me be clear here though, guys like confident girls so if you do not bring yourself together and rather stalk him or even call him once, you are going to not only make things worse, but will not make your self much more appealing to others. So stay busy, talk with your parents and if you get down, realize this is just part of dating and relationships and a common feeling, but it too will pass. Just make it a rule of thumb, when your down stay active and do not crawl up in bed and sleep! Stay active, your body motion will help control your emotion.

Answer 3

Honey I feel so bad for you, I have been in your exact situation. It was online and the only difference was we never met (he was in another state) but something got into his head and he dissapeared in a cruel, abrupt fashion. Just vanished and I was heartbroken. Until I saw him online and active and then I was just plain MAD.
Let me put it gently. Did you two exchange pictures? Get on webcam and see each other a lot while chatting?
Is this something to do with him being dissapointed about physical appearance? Or perhaps it was just the way you spoke or attitude that he felt was not right for him or what he was looking for. did you only chat/ text message or talk on phone as well?
Whatever it is, he has made up his mind, and it seems one meeting was enough for him. Sweetie, he seems a shallow person and not the person you imagined him to be. If you two had a genuine connection and then just because of looks or personality, he has chucked it all up.
He has no sympathy for your feelings, and he MUST know that it would hurt really bad to be you right now.
Thats just cruel and you deserve better, at least, a person who is a better human being.
He is trying to let you down gently by giving the standard "its not you its me" excuse. I have also been in a situation where I met someone and I just knew he was not the one for me and it was just so easy - a snap of the fingers - for me to chat, make small talk, be polite for 15 mins and try to end the meeting nicely before never seeing him again.
Whatever it is thats going on in his head, please believe that its over. He is a shallow type so he may come running back within a month or two (when he has less online success) to see if you can boost his ego again. Cut him out for good. TRUST me he was never your one chance. Never. With such a person, no one stands a chance.
You may remain single or not. Thats upto circumstances, fate, and a little bit, how you deal with yourself around eligible men. Try and not think of every man as 'the one'. Try and judge if a person truly has what it takes to make you happy. Once you streamline your screening process, you will reject the type of men who just did this to you, and allow better gentle men to come into your life.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

He obviously doesn't want you to blame yourself, because he told you "all of those nice things". So stop (if you can) blaming yourself. It is possible that he was perfect for you, but that you were not likewise perfect for him. I hate to sound so harsh, but would you rather him to stay with you out of pity? If you knew that he was less happy with you than he could be with someone else, would you still want him? Just let him be happy and don't worry about him too much.

You need to find yourself again. Many times, in relationships, women give away their "Center". If he is the center of the universe for you, that is very unhealthy for both you and him. Rediscover your old hobbies, develop some new ones and reach out to friends (but don't talk about him or let them bring him up).

it's not your only chance. God will provide. There must be things you need to learn before you get into a new relationship, things you must learn on your own. You have to be a whole person before you enter a relationship. Nobody else should have to complete you- that is a misnomer in our culture and it is unhealthy dependence on someone else. Good luck.

Answer 5

well judging by , first off, the fact that you have no picture posted, second off, that you were "writing to a guy for several months... then met.." and thirdly , that you are upset over this.. i am going to venture to say that you are fat and ugly. you misrepresented yourself through chatting or email and upon meeting you he realized that your personality wasn't quite enough to make up for what you are lacking physically. i suggest meeting people in real life or at least being honest about your lack of aesthetic beauty.

Answer 6

I say just move on, and I agree with baby luv.
I had that same experience once, had a perfect relationship, This was 5 years ago, October, in fact. I saw him 9 times, he gave me Valentine's presents, was a prince pretty much, but he ditched me with no explanation. Just, he found someone and told me it was not me.

So sorry for you, those things do happen.

Answer 7

Look mija if your conscience is clean dont worry but what you need to do is get over the looser if he left you without a reason it was because he didnt have one . dont act like it bohters you and sooner or later things will fix themselves

Answer 8

it is not your fault!!!! this guy is a big jerk! you have to be carefull when meeting guys online, they lie all the time! i would just forget about him and move on!!!!

Answer 9

He was a jerk move on you'll find the right guy.

Answer 10

all it is he wasn't that into you or maybe he has someone else just let it burn you and him isn't togther for a reason