Do shy people look arogant to the people around them?

Question

Could it be that, even though I am simply shy and have low selfesteem around girls, they take me to be arogant and aloof and not interested in them?
Have you experienced people like me?
Oh, and according to people on this page, I ain't ugly either.

Answer 1

I used to think I was shy because I wasn't as obnoxious as everyone else and didn't tend to ramp into everyone else's business. Then I got a little older and I realized that most people's business is just stupid and I was just more sure of myself than to get involved in something stupid in the hopes of gaining respect. I am a riot amongst my friends but I don't typically "try" in front of people I don't know. That's often mistaken for arrogance and maybe it is, but once you realize that the only opinion that matters is your own (i.e. self confidence) you will most likely cease to care about being seen as "aloof" and, in fact, people will start to consider that a credit to your personality and admire you for it. I like the fact that people are intimidated by how cool I am (lol) it cuts down on the amount of bullshit that gets dropped in my lap. Odds are girls are more intimidated by you than you are of them. Hope that helps. Good luck dude.

Answer 2

Yes.

My ex-boyfriend was like that... and so was a friend of mine's husband... and guess what, although they were genuinely shy, they were also, naturally, very judgmental people. So, they were not that far removed from being labeled correctly.

And recently, I met a girl, who I study with, who is the same way. She seems shy, and from talking to her, she does have self esteem problems... but again, she is VERY judgmental. So, she comes off that way and can't seem to understand why people view that way. And it's not like I can say anything, because she'll just judge my words ...

It's an interesting problem - because the judgmental nature and the shyness wouldn't seem to correlate, but it does. And I think it is one of the more difficult personalities to change or alter for the better. It's like, the more they get judged, the more they themselves judge and only seem to recluse and judge more! It's a crazy cycle.

Answer 3

I am perceived as arrogant, I dont really have alot of mates, but I have a couple of close friends, I'm not shy, I just choose not to interact with people who have nothing to say of any interest/importance. I don't believe in being polite to people just for the sake of it. I have no trouble talking ot women, unless yo consider my girfriend. I suppose I am arrogant. Is that a bad thing?

Answer 4

slipping your telephone out is the worst ingredient to do. in case you manage her like shes there chatting with you and are an lively listener that is going to come ordinary. in the journey that your shy it incredibly is positive ask her questions get her to enhance on what she 's conversing approximately. yet in addition attempt to no longer make it an interrogation. there's a butter zone for those style of issues, however the selection one ingredient to remember is. be like a chum, no longer a suitor. if a woman thinks your drawing close too difficult rejection may well be forthcoming

Answer 5

I'm fairly shy around new people. I have a tendency to hang back with my arms crossed without really realizing it, just because I'm uncomfortable. After the fact, friends have pointed out that I seemed unhappy or disinterested. So it's definitely possible that girls are misreading your signals.

Answer 6

yes I am shy and not a one of the girls are into me not even the shy ones themselves wierd eh? Any way if you see the girl not doing well in a subject and you are offer to help her and get to know her then when you know her and vice versa then start deep conversation and then once you get to know her really well ask her out it may or may not work.

Answer 7

I used to BE a people like you!
Once (when I was thirty-something), I wondered to myself if the other kids thought I was "stuck-up", etc. back then.
If people don't know, then they're going to assume - come to their own conclusions - we all do it.
Certainly if we're quiet and reserved, it'll be taken as something else. Hopefully they're not making fun of you - that's pretty hard to take, especially when you know their assumptions are incorrect.

Answer 8

Yes, to a lot of people you will appear to be rude or arrogant.
When I was in high school I was surprised to find out that the few people that I was comfortable with and who were my friends were defending me to people who I had never spoken to, all of whom thought it was because I was just stuck up. Strangely enough teachers also perpetuated that rumor.

Answer 9

Well, I have been called stuck up and things of that manner because I was shy. People always assume the worst. Instead of asking why you're so quiet or something, they assume you're stuck up and just don't want to talk to them. So don't worry, you aren't alone.

Answer 10

Yes I'm shy myself and people think just because I don't carry on a conversation with them that i'm stuck up