My boyfriend has a child with another girl, and he calls her all the time. Recently we moved in together and he calls her daily, and sometimes when I get ready to leave for work he will ask her to come over. Normally he is asking to see his daughter when she comes over. But I'm still alittle jealous. Do I have a reason to be?
2006-09-19 09:04:37 · 34 answers · asked by surfadudett00 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is one.. He doesn't really call just to talk to his daughter.. Because its not like the daughter to talk to him back. If you know what I mean
2006-09-19 09:15:05 · update #1
You have a reason to be jealous. I know your my sister but heres my advice for you. Next time he does that sit down and explain that this is making you jealous. Ask him why he can't go pick her up and see her for a few hours while your at work. Then when you get home you can take her back to Ashely. That would be the best thing to do. Also ask him why he calls constantly when you live in the same town as they do. I can understand him calling to check up on her but not every day for a couple hours. If its just to check on her then he's a sensitive guy and you keep him and stop being jealous but put a stop to Ashley coming over without you being there, tell him that you don't trust her but you trust him.
2006-09-19 10:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by aberboychris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand him wanting to see his child, and I can also understand your feelings about his ex. Why doesn't he have regular visitation set up? Why is his ex coming to your house when you aren't home? I wouldn't be comfortable with the situation either. Why doesn't he just pick up his child and keep her for a night, or a few days? I know I wouldn't go for my man having his ex in my house when I wasn't there, I see no reason for it. It is important for them to get along for the benefit of the child, but this sounds a little to friendly. I would watch this carefully, maybe schedule a day off work when you know she is coming and not let him know. Leave like your going to work and pop back in. Their could be something going on here. Does she have a boyfriend now? How old is the child? A lot of women will sleep with their baby's daddy thinking this will get them back, and a lot of guys will go for it! Ask him how you would feel if your ex were to come hang out with you while he was gone. Child or not, the ex doesn't belong there with you gone!
2006-09-19 09:20:39 · answer #2 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take this from a single mother! YES you have the right to be jealous. I talk to my daugthers father for about 2 mins the rest of the time he spends on the phone with my little girl. It sounds like he is doing what he wants and at your expense. The sad thing is at the end of the day if he isn't having the girl come to your place he is going to go over there. Cut your losses, asses what direction this relationship is going in and decide whether or not you need to keep it moving.
2006-09-19 09:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by NICOLE J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how confident you are that the relationship is over. I would like to know why he's not leaving for work in the morning to, how old is the daughter, (can she speak on the phone)?
But, if they're just trying to be good parents and that's fairly obvious to you, then no. No jealousy neccessary.
My 2 cents? Get out before you get hurt. You don't really seem strong enough for this kind of a situation so maybe you shouldn't be in it.
2006-09-19 09:11:08 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, who is he calling all the time? Is it his ex or his daughter?
You have the right to be jealous if he treats you "less special". If you have been together long enough then you can talk to him about your feelings. It's quite complicated, really. Hope you knew his real situation with his ex gf and the daughter before you decided to be with him. If he calls his ex all the time, that's another story. He shouldnt be with you for the first place if they have not set any boundaries for them to move on with someone else, you know. :)
2006-09-19 09:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by alexie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes a thousand times yes.
When something does not feel right, it probably is not.
You are in the middle of a family. And from your question it seems like a family that is not yet given up on itself as a unit and ready to move on.
Its ok for them to vaccilate, after all there is a child that they have to consider, but why are they doing this dance with you in the middle to witness and feel so hurt and confused by?
Please move on. This is not respectful of him to his ex gf, or to you. He needs to make up his mind. And he seems to want more than just seeing his kid. Otherwise, why call them over when you are not around...?
Trust your instincts and move on. Maybe you will give this family a chance to become a unit, and maybe you will get a chance to meet a real nice guy who genuinely likes you.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 09:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by RealChic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure you can be jealous...but it isn't going to change anything. She has a right to see her daughter...you have the choice to be a better person and get over it, cuz this girls going to be in your life for the next 18yrs at least if you stick with the guy. if you don't think you can handle this in a mature fashion your best bet is to leave. And think of it this way...hes with you...not her.
and to all those askin why he waits til you leave to bring her over...maybe its cuz he doesn't want any unnecessary drama between you and the ex. how would you feel having to sit there and watch them interact? it'd be stressful for everyone involved, and the childs been thru enough stress already.
2006-09-19 09:10:20 · answer #7 · answered by t_matczak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....yes and no. I mean are jealous that he is spending time with her or because he has a kid with her. Maybe you should find out why they are not together, what was their reason for breaking up? Why are they talking so much? Does the mother have a boyfriend herself? I think you really have to get to just used to having her around.
2006-09-19 09:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity, immaturity, and controlling behavior. Suspecting your boyfriend under the circumstamces is natural, because he has created an uncomfortable situation for you. There are ways to allieviate the problem. Have him watched, plant a tape recorder, a camcorder, go to work, and turn around and return home to try to catch them doing something wrong, ask him why she has to be present when he is with his daughter, ask him why he finds it necessary to call her every day, find someone who doesn't have baggage from a previous relationship. The sooner you deal with it the better.
M
2006-09-19 09:18:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might.he might still have feelings for her.you should talk it through with him and ask him to be honest about it.also, try being a little colder, see if he notices.not bitchy, just reserved.don't call him, stay out with friends, be busy about yourself for a while.do not do anything rash and impulsive before discussing the matter like one adult to another.it's not worth ruining a relationship over some stupid misunderstanding.do not accuse him of anything.just talk.imagine he'a friend.not your boyfriend.otherwise, you'll get into an argument, throwing insults at eachother,and that is never productive.also, ask him to be honest.a relationship is based on trust and respect.if you don't have that, you don't have a relationship.try to be there once, when she comes with the child.see how he interacts with them.hope it works out right.good luck
2006-09-19 09:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by vehrim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋