Once you have been betrayed. How do you forgive him and once you do will your realationship ever be the same again? Will i ever trust him again? We have been togeather since i was 20 and now i am 27. He said it was just sex nothing to do with love. I am heart broken but still love him deaply!!!
2006-09-19 08:52:01 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didnt do anything to push him away and we have a child togeather
2006-09-19 09:01:23 · update #1
It is very hard to develop trust again when a boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you. In order for the relationship to continue to grow, there needs to be trust and you need to feel okay with him.
When someone betrays you, they hurt you in such a way that it is very hard to deal with and to get over. The same trust that you had, took time to develop. Now, you need to develop that trust again and it does not happen quickly. He needs to prove himself to you. If you feel like you can get over this and begin to trust him again, then it is worth it to continue to try. It is important that if you want this relationship to work, to talk to him about your feelings and to be open.
Does he know that you still feel this way
Does he try to reassure you that this is not going to happen again
Do you believe him
Do you argue often about the cheating
Is it a healthy relationship that you feel fulfilled and happy with
Look inside yourself for these answers and follow your feelings. Sometimes the damage is never fully resolved and the relationship will not work out.
If the relationship is full of jealously and dislike about the cheating, it may be time to move on, especially if you feel inside that you cannot trust him again. this is easier said than done. In time though, it does get easier. If you do decide to break it off, keep yourself busy with other activities and friends. Also, find someone that you can talk to about your feelings. A break up is not an easy thing. It is a loss that needs to be filled in. Also, a broken heart heals with time.
2006-09-19 09:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by casper_international2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one there, been together 7 years (seven year itch maybe?) Well, I feel for you but I couldn't trust him ever again. The just sex nothing to do with love? That is where it crosses the line. Anything to do with any type of sexual relationship w/someone else makes the relationship void. I hate to say this but I have to wonder if this is the only time you know about,are there other times? My personal advice would be to pack your things and move out. I would rather see you struggle with a broken heart now than find you later w/kids and a husband who strays. So many men out there who are decent and faithful just waiting for a great girl to marry. Sorry, but I would have to take my self worth and get going.
My last thought is this, what would you tell your 27 yr old daughter to do in this situation?
2006-09-19 09:02:30 · answer #2 · answered by sideways 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone you love cheats does not mean that your feelings will go away. I am sure that it was just a sex thing, thats usually all it is with men but, does that make it right or justify what he did no. You need to sit down and talk with him and find out what happened with your relationship that he felt the need to cheat in the first place. Trust him again, with time you will learn to trust him again. You should never place all your trust in one person though. We are human and we make mistakes so trusting one to much is never a good idea. Trust in yourself and who you are and relize that you do not deserve to be treated like you have been. You do not have to stay with someone who cheats on you or treats you badly. If you really love him then try and forgive him, your relationship is going to be different but it can be good again in time. Good Luck-
2006-09-19 09:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expect him to do again, once they get away with it once it will continue, very Bad situation. You cant love him so much to loose your self respect, it will slowly tear you down, dont be stupid, I WOULD LEAVE. He must have the 7 year itch, they say things start to happen(change)after 7 years of marriage, I dont know if that means dating also. Didnt he know if ever he did this to you how much that it would bother you? And if it was for just sex and nothing more does that mean the next time he gets horny and someone is willing and able he is allowed to have sex, since it is ONLY for the sex. WOW POOR EXCUSE. I am sorry, I told my boyfriend if he ever has the desire to be with someone else let me know first, then I will step out, give me the respect at least.I have been with mine 7 years also!!! and I wouldnt have a problem leaving if that happened to me, I love him very much but not enough loose my self respect.
2006-09-19 09:00:43 · answer #4 · answered by foxyraley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is not now you forgive him but WILL you forgive him? No, the relationship will never be the same, but it can be stronger IF you both are willing to work at it. It was just sex is a poor excuse for betraying you regardless of the situation. It is also a scape goat excuse.
2006-09-19 09:02:26 · answer #5 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm.... why is it that men always try to separate "love" from "sex"? if you love someone, you wouldnt want to have sex w/anyone else, because sex should be an expression of love. tell me: would you have done the same to him? i bet not! i think it's up to you to give him a second chance, but not a third one! he should have never done that, but if you're willing to forgive him and try to make it work, and he screws up again, he's unforgivable!
However, if you feel in your heart that you cannot trust him after this, LEAVE HIM, because it will not work if you lost all your trust. I think he's a rat, after all this time that you dedicated to him, he better have apologized to you a million times, and you know you can tell by the tone of his voice if he's really sorry and if he feels guilty.
Oh, yeah, if he's trying to blame it on you, KICK HIM TO THE CURVE
2006-09-19 09:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Feed the models! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you've been together for all those years, I 'm guessing that you really love this individual. But why did he do what he did. Nothing is just about sex. So I think you should forget about him and move on with your life. There are other fish in the deep blue sea.
2006-09-19 08:56:55 · answer #7 · answered by Candice S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can be the same you must first have to forgive him and accept the fact that her is a human and humans do make mistakes not saying that cheating is okay it will be hard at the beginning but with time things will be back to normal
2006-09-19 08:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by tpchick22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be hard to trust him again but if you do decide to forgive him then you have to let it go and try to move on in your relationship. I think that you should listen to your heart but also follow your gut b/c it will lead you in the right direction.
2006-09-19 08:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave, find someone you can trust. He has not even owned up to the fact that he hurt you. He is saying that sex has nothing to do with love; right. If that is the case bring home two men and have sex with them in your home tonight, he should not object if it has nothing to do with love right?
Better yet find someone who will treat you the way you wish to be treated.
2006-09-19 08:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋