This happened to my fiances brother, the girl told me and a friend of mine she knew she wasn't on the pill and still had sex with him with no condom but didn't tell him. The child is 1 year old next month and I still can't get that out of my head. They are not living together, she thinks they are together but he dates around. They're both in their early 20's and he gives her $1300 a month, she works and HIS mom watches the baby for free while they work. My morals tell me I need to tell someone...but does it matter now? She's already 1 year, will I only make things worse? He is a DJ and to the babys mama he is like a god. Should I but out...or step in because he's complaining he gives her too much $$ and would rather give her cash then go through child support. By the way, they are both horrible parents and pawn the baby off on who-ever will take her on the weekends so they can go out and party and do drugs.
2006-09-19 08:42:45 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I agree with that forsure...it definetly takes 2!!!
2006-09-19 08:48:06 · update #1
It's definately not right to get pregnant to try and trap a man; the only person who pays for it in the long run is the child! This happens more than anyone would realize! (SAD) isn't it? It's much too late to say anything now; besides, you could possibly make matters worse for the child! As far as them being horrible parents; if you're that concerned, try talking to them and speak your peace! Mabee start with telling them you think it's time they both grew up due to having a child they need to stop and think about now! Mabee offer to babysit once in a while!
2006-09-19 08:58:21 · answer #1 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know why the blame always lies on the woman...it takes two to tango, and if he was taking a proactive approach to pregnancy prevention he would have worn the condom...birth control is not 100% effective, and rare is the woman who can take it regularly, no missed pills, at the same time every day. If you feel the baby is in any danger at all, that there is drug use around the child, etc. tell someone. If the baby is in no danger and is otherwise cared for, I'd leave it alone. As far as him giving her $1300 a month, I must say that is an obscene amount of money and he'd probably do much better to go through family services and the child support system....plus...when and if they do part ways, he likely has no proof he paid her a dime and she can collect back support in addition to current. I can only hope that money is going for the benefit of the child.
2006-09-19 15:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mara 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
#1) Did he ask if she was on birth control? Or did he even care? Sounds like he was just as careless as she was, therefore, they're both at fault on that one.
#2) As far as the amount of money is concerned, he must be making good money, and sounds like he's giving her extra for herself. But HE needs to be honest with HER - if she thinks they're still together, but he's dating around...
#3) This is the issue that concerns you the most... you say they're both horrible parents, more concerned with drugs, partying, and pawning the baby off. That is the most unacceptable part of this whole scenario.
This baby deserves better than that. How does the grandma feel about watching the baby? How often do the parents actually see the baby? Are they doing drugs around the baby? Do you feel the baby's safety is at risk? That's the part that's so dis-concerning, as the baby's life could be at risk with parents as irresponsible as this. For the baby's sake, as well as your own peace of mind, you should follow up with Family Services. What does your fiance say about all of this?
2006-09-19 17:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you dont say something to someone it will get worse and it will be too fargone to fix. I'd tell someone of rational mind thats is aware of the situation and put your heads together to find a rational solution.
one thing tho, dont let the girl turn down the child support cause onece you go to court and have it cut off it stays off. If he wants the child support readjusted let him go thru the proper channels. Under the table deals are bad for everyone involved
2006-09-19 15:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by Random Nimrod 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be a good support for the baby and like the first person said be a good aunt. Cause you might end up being more of the emotional and mental support for that child in his or her parents arent there for them. love is all they need and someone to care about them and help them in a rut or advice
2006-09-19 16:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by fleur_loser 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they could have adopted the baby if they both don't want to really want to take care of it. The man sounds like he's being responsible by paying child support, and the female sounds like she's got her hand in the wallet for sure. I wouldn't tell anyone. The guy sounds like he was careless. Maybe he'll learn his lesson.
2006-09-19 18:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Obviously you care for the child because it will be your "niece-in-law", but it may create more problems then it's worth when it comes to every family members opinion. What's your fiance's take on it all? It's his brother so he must care what's going on. Talk to him and possibly the grandmother if you need advice they will care more for that childs well being then the parents.
2006-09-19 16:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by Loving Life 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly... what would be the point of telling anyone now. I mean..... it was just as much his responsibility to use a condom as it was hers to use birth control. He is taking good care of his child... which is very honorable considering so many dead beat dads are out there. Just leave well enough alone. The only thing telling someone will do is cause fighting.
2006-09-19 15:48:36 · answer #8 · answered by TAZZLOVER8 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
U R a good friend and u should say somthing about thing or confront her about what she did and then tell the man what she did, Plus he need to stop giving her all that money every month we both know that she ain't spending it on the baby she is spending it on her self..
2006-09-19 15:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by LeeLee34Lickabooty-Minniemouse34 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all she didn't "trick" him into getting her pregnant. He should used his other head and put a condom on the head that got her pregnant. It's his fault not hers. Hopefully next time he'll use better judgment despite what the woman says. People lie. Secondly, stay out of their relationship and focus on yours, in the long run you'll be glad that you did.
2006-09-19 15:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋