My cousin julie asked about having melanie her daughter live with me and my parents for a while?I dont now what the exact problem is? child serves called yesterday for me to speak to them. I now my cousins bf is an ex drug addict and have seen him smack her daughter for a accident. I am 18 yrs old and have baby say her daughter since she as born delayed my 4 yr college for a year to help her out so i am in a community college as a transfer student. so would you ask you parents about your cousins daughter coming to live with them and you?
2006-09-19 08:20:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
They barley put up with me babysitting almost everyday for her with no pay.
my parents do not like her so she asked me to ask them.
2006-09-19 08:21:52 · update #1
I feel guilty for not being able to help more
2006-09-19 08:23:00 · update #2
If you can possibly do it, then think of it from the child's perspective and consider helping out. If you really can't do it, then you can't and that's too bad and you shouldn't feel guilty.
Imagine the kid when it's grown up and how much it will appreciate your input, rather than getting smacked by a junkie, and maybe worse........
2006-09-19 08:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by medium_of_dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.... that is a huge burden for you to take on as a college student. Is there no other family member that can take the child in? That maybe better suited for raising a child?
While it is a huge responsibility, it is also very rewarding and selfless act of protecting a child.
I would and have taken in children for family members. It is most difficult to let them go when the parents want them back. However, provided that you give them a great foundation they will remember and appreciate you always.
The focus should be on the child that desperately needs your families help..... do what you can for her. If you can't see to it that someone else does.
Speak to your parents, while they make not like the cousin... I'm sure that the child is a different story. Some legal advise may also be needed.
2006-09-19 08:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by shughes2000_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably scared that the child is going to be taken out, but if they haven't done so and she has talked with family services then they more than likely won't unless she dosen't follow their recommendations. If the child is taken your family can go down to the placement agency (or whatever it is there) and ask that the child be placed in their home, which means that she can't just come and see the baby any time she want's she will have to follow court rules...it can get sticky...I would just stay out of it and be honest with family services...it's the best thing for the baby, not her mother.
2006-09-19 09:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can take her in and provide for her then yes.
If your parents say no however, there isn't much you can do. Can you help Julie find a halfway house for her and Melanie to live in? It would be much better for the baby to be able to stay with her mom, but her mom needs away from the boyfriend too because if he is violent to the little girl he's probably violent to her mother too.
There are battered women's shelters everywhere, you'd be surprised if you knew how many of the "ghetto" looking houses are shelters and so are many normal looking homes.
2006-09-19 08:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If child services is involved, most likely if family won't take her in she will go to a foster family, and that would be worst-case for any child. I know that you can get financial help through state services (child services should be able to help with that), but realize that you (or your parents) would be fully responsible for this child and you may have to decide again to wait on college. If you are not willing to be responsible for the child, then the mother needs to ask your parents, not you. And if you live at home with your parents, you may be asked to leave if you take in the child... There are so many things to think about! My advice is to tell your cousin that she needs to ask your parents herself, but you will come with her... but only if you are willing to put your life on hold again to help with the girl.
2006-09-19 08:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by sokkermum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have a bond with the child, I would take her. It seems as if the child is about to be taken and placed in foster care. Dont do it for the cousin, do it for the child. If you dont the system will take her and you wont be allowed to see her.
I have a brother in jail for something stupid he did years ago that finally caught up with him. Anyways, his wife slipped into depression cuz he was in jail and she just had a new baby... (very sad situation for the children) anyways so she let her house go, not terribly but laundry piled up and toys were everywhere and she didnt have medicaid on the children. (All the kids were healthy and up to date on shots and visits) CPS took her kids and since we all live in other states we couldnt help her by taking them. They lied and said for her to get treatment and clean up her house and apply for medicaid and they would return them in two days... that was 9months ago. And since the children are in foster care none of us can see them, and we can only call once a month.
2006-09-19 08:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mystie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would for the sake of the child. Sounds like she would have a better home with you. But I would be damned if I raised the child then her mom wants her back after all the raising. I would seek legal help in this situation. Good luck and do what's right for you and the child.
2006-09-19 08:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to child services. I think it is a huge responsibility for a college student and would lead to problems within the family. It would be great if your parents would take her but if not there are alot of great foster homes out there.you shouldn't feel guilty or obligated.
2006-09-19 08:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by rubyw26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would I most definitly however this is a situation where it wouldn't be you taking in the child but your parents. The cousin needs to talk to them not you as it is her child she is trying to find a home for, be there with her to talk to the parents. It is nice that you are helping but you also have to live your life.
2006-09-19 09:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that baby needs to feel like she belongs somewhere...i know you didnt ask for this but neither did she....if you are the only other safe tie she has and you are able...then yes take the child....it may disrupt or change the course of your life but i promise you if you do right by this child then the reward you will reap in the end (that child's respect and knowing you did the right thing) will be worth more than any you could receive elsewhere
2006-09-19 08:32:09 · answer #10 · answered by cookiesmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋