I try everything from physical punishment, to psychological "torture" ( what my wife calls it) but he wont change. Anyone know where I can get a tool to change him? Shock therapy?
2006-09-19 07:56:17 · 35 answers · asked by tkocp07 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Try accepting your son for the transvestite that he might be and once he gets that approval he'll change into jeans and t-shirts and find another way to get attention from you.
2006-09-19 07:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by jlefer 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Short answer:
Be a man, be a father, try to understand your son. But most of all, be supportive of him. Stop being a prick before you give him more "problems".
Long answer:
Surely you must be joking! What messed up prick physically abuses their son because he dresses in women's clothing. And if this is actually the case, then I suggest you look in the mirror. As you are surely the cause of "his problem".
That being said. The only thing that is "wrong" with him, are his unsupportive parents. If you continue on this path of degrading him for who he is, expect that you will never hear from him again after he goes off to college. And if you do it will be to help pay for the years of therapy he will need to work through all the extra self-esteme issues you are giving him.
Suggestion:
Go read a few books about gender issues from un-biased sources. Them means, don't go reading some conservative christian nut who says they're all sinners. God knows no one is a sinner for the way they dress.
I truly hope you can try to understand your son in time. It must be horrible for him having a father like you.
2006-09-19 08:11:49 · answer #2 · answered by Tomis 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be physically punishing or psychologically torturing any kid, especially if all he's doing is dressing up like a girl. Who cares? Be glad he's not off doing drugs, ditching school, beating up younger kids, painting graffiti on buildings, etc. Dressing up like a girl isn't hurting anyone. If he decides to dress like a boy again, so be it. If not though, there's nothing you can do about it. He is who he is, and beating him and making him feel horrible will only make him rebel in worse ways. Start accepting him for who he is and buy him a nice girlie outfit. He'll be glad to have supportive parents.
2006-09-19 08:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how to tell you this, but seems like he pretty much has his mind made up what he wants to do and how he wants to dress. Just try to be a positive role model for him.
If you see this a beginning or sign of something other than him just dressing up, then I suggest that you be sure to be there for him and give him some good advice and support when he needs it.
The world is not too accepting of people who are "different", even though we claim to have come a long way.
Praying won't hurt either. My mom always said, "Prayer changes things." The key is you have to believe.
All the best.
2006-09-19 08:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Diva 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good luck w/that. He is doing it to spite you. Why don't you let go and let God? He isn't going to listen to you specially if you are trying to teach him w/punishment.
Just stand by what you believe. He wants to dress like that? No problem. Just tell him that since you don't approve, he will not accompany you places dressed as such. Otherwise, then he can stay at home without privelieges. The more you comfront him about it, the more he's getting on ya. Reverse psychology, no shock therapy (that's proven to have adverse effects), and pray bout it. God may be also be "allowing" you to acquire more patience and trust in him w/this out of line situation, while the devil dances around you parading your son in his "woman clothes". I also suggest you keep any "women's clothes" or anything feminine out of his reach. Make sure that your wife is w/you on this, and not displaying signs of resistance to your tactics. She needs to do the same you do, or this will all fall apart right in your face. Parenting TOGETHER.
2006-09-19 08:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you son has issues emotionally, physical punishment and torture are not the answers. He might need to see a counselor. You might also have to admit that he likes to dress in women's clothing and come to terms with it. Set ground rules like he can only do it in his room, never outside the home. Perhaps it is a stage he'll outgrow (maybe he'll outgrow it faster if he doesn't see it bugging you so much.) Perhaps it is a life choice he is making and it is better you learn to deal with it now, rather than destroy your relationship with him. Wearing womens' clothes doesn't make him any less of a son and it shouldn't make you love him any less.
2006-09-19 08:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by S. O. 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try talking to him. Send him to a consuler. If this dosn't work even though i know it's hard try understanding where he comes from and let him dress the way he wants. I know u don't approve, but eventully he'll relizes he's differn't then the other guys by the way he dresses and he'll change on his own, but for now try to accept what he wants and go with it. Everything will be fine
2006-09-19 08:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by badgirl 419 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't try to change him. Let him be the person he want's to be. You can try counseling but it sound's like your son has his mind made up....who know's if you accept he may change back and if not he will "rebel" against you more. Just give him time and accept it and love him, he is your son who you gave birth to. Good Luck to you mom!!
2006-09-19 08:25:47 · answer #8 · answered by babyN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want your son to move to Seattle and never speak to you again (probably best case senario actually), worst case end up dead in an alley somewhere of an over dose; just keep up what your doing. If you think you can get over your macho bullshit maybe you can find him and yourself some counseling and you can start learning to accept him for what he is.
2006-09-19 08:08:51 · answer #9 · answered by get real 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is it a "problem"? Maybe the problem lies with you and your "physical punishment [and] psychological torture."
Hell, if I were him I'd do ANYTHING to rebel in a house like that!
Try acceptance and unconditional love, the only proven method of raising a child. Ask a shrink if you don't believe me.
2006-09-19 08:00:59 · answer #10 · answered by Trixie D 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋