I have seen parents with children severe disabilities planning to have more kids. I would just think that would be soo difficult. Who will take care of the kids as the enter adulthood? Especially if the parents ever become ill.
2006-09-19 06:23:34 · 26 answers · asked by momof2borninmarch 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was wondering if you would risk having another child with dissabilities? I understand that they are still human.( I didn't mean to terminate the pregnancy) I meant would you plan for another?
2006-09-19 06:29:34 · update #1
I would be very anxious and possibly not want to have another child. I have 2 kids with autism (my boys) but my middle child is a girl and she does not have autism. The age gap between my 1st and my last child is 13 years. I was a bit anxious with my last pregnancy (not excessively though) and did wonder. It is not fair though is it? I have also been told that parents of special needs children are special parents. I find this insulting and bloody offensive as I am the common or garden variety parent myself. I love my kids dearly but it is very hard work and I would think twice before having another child for all the reasons you gave. Maybe these parents have something that I do not - good luck to them. We live in a society that is supposed to care but it is not always the case. My kids will always need support within the community and I do worry about their future.
2006-09-19 08:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on what the disabilities were that the other children had and what the genetic factors showed as to chances of a healthy child. I thank God everyday for giving me three beautiful healthy children. Another thing to remember and I know this has happened, some people use their children with disabilities as a way of life. They get ssi on them and then they get home health and all of that to help take care of them and some are not properly cared for at all. It takes a special person to raise a child with disabilities and to do right by the child and it is very time consumming as well. Although I would never abort one if found out something was wrong if it was much of a handicapp I don't think I could mentally take the chance on another.
2006-09-19 06:36:40 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this kind of decision is completely and solely up to the parents and anyone else who criticizes them is being nosey and judging something they can't begin to understand.
What will happen to any disabled child whose parents can no longer take care of them? They go into the system and get "good" care from strangers.
It's not like the parents planned to have disabled children. And I do think they have a right to pursue their desire to some day have a non-disabled child.
You didn't mention the disability or cause, so that would be a factor they would consider, too, such as how probable it is that it would occur again. It's a tough choice. But it is their right to try to have another..
2006-09-19 06:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by Niqabi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is not an easy decision to make. My daughter has Mosaic Down's Syndrome. She is 15 months old and is currently enrolled in an early intervention program. My husband and I are very fortunate that both physically and mentally she is either at or above her age level. I have met the parents of the children in the EIP. Many of them have more than one child with a disability and some are adoptive parents of children with disablilities. You never know how you are going to respond and adapt to children with disabilities until you have one of your own. But parents of children with disabilities look at their children the same way parents of "normal" children do - first and foremost, they are our children. They just happen to require more attention than some other children. Most parents do plan for the future of their children - whether the children are disabled or not. The wonderful thing about the EIP is that it allows children with disabilities to get a great head start to help them develop to their capacity and perhaps become an independent adult. My husband and I are ttc again. If I get pregnant, I know I will have an amnicentesis again, which will only help us prepare for any problems our baby might have. Having a child with disabilities has not discouraged us. We want to have more children. I think other parents feel the same way. Instead of asking "why have more children", we should say "God bless those parents that love their children for who they are".
2006-09-19 06:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I would not. I probably would after the first one, but when the second one turned out to be in the same situation, no. She knows that there is a great possibility that the third one will be the same. They are selfish. They are only thinking of themselves because it is the child who has to live like that. You wouldn't love your child any less being that way, but still, the children are the ones who don't have a normal life and are limited to what they can do and are teased and everything else. Having another one would really be a selfish act on her part. God bless those kids.
2006-09-19 06:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Worked with a guy - first child seemed OK but by the age of 5 was beginning to show the same signs as the other 3 that were born by then. The parents knew that it was a genetic problem after the 2ed but still produced 2 more. Now they have 4 kids who do not know when they are hungry - thirsty - cold or have to go to the bathroom along with not speaking and seizures. Now that the kids are older the parents have moved to a state that offers better programs for their kid - can't fault them for wanting that, but why burden others (tax payers) because of their own bad judgment. NO I wouldn't.
2006-09-19 06:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by justwondering 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I work with babies with disabilities, and it depends on what kind of disablity the child has. If it was autism, studies show that if you have 2 children with it your 3rd child would have a 1 in 3 chance of also having autism. A lot of syndromes are genetic and with 2 disabled children I wouldn't take the chance again. You can meet with a genetic counsler who will explain the odds.
2006-09-19 06:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depended on what kind of disibilities the first two children had. At this point in our lives we only want two kids in the first place, but if I had the money, the resources, and the house big enough to house 3 kids, I might. But I would have to be able to be a stay at home mom, or my husband to be a stay at home dad because I'd want to be there to take care of them constantly.
You can't really answer this question "right" unless you've been there.
2006-09-19 06:34:22 · answer #8 · answered by E's Mommy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
On the principle I would agree that in order to maximize attention in short term, and support in longer term, then I would recommend parents do not try having a third one.
However, there are key questions first:
1 ) what sort of disabilities are we talking about: physical ? intellectual ?
2 ) are the disabilities of the 2 first kids identical ? are they genetical ?
-if yes, it would be irresponsible for the child himself to plan for a third one.
-if not, must have opinion of doctors that probabilities are high to have a 'normal' third child...
indeed if probabilities of having third child 'normal' are high, I guess no one can blame the parents for being willing to go for this. there are much deeper motivations.
Cheers,
2006-09-19 06:31:37 · answer #9 · answered by casper_international2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not. We have family friends whose daughter is a year older(32) than me and mentally she is around 18 months. They were told they had a 50/50 chance of that happening again, and decided to not have any more children. Having seen what this family has gone through I completely understand their decision and know that I would have done the same.
2006-09-19 06:29:54 · answer #10 · answered by PLDFK 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋