Why do people always question...?

Question

Why do people always question another persons parenting when they ask a question? I frequently ask questions and have been told that I don't know what I'm doing--merely because I ask for other opinions. I have been told I need to gain confidence--because I ask questions. If I ask why others do things differently--I'm told I need more confidence. Just because someone asks questions or wonders why others disagree with them it doesn't mean they are unconfident--I think it makes them mature to understand that others have different opinions and it's mature that instead of just writing others off they want a better understanding. So back to the question--why do people always question some one's parenting or confidence because they can ask a question?

I'm a fire sign--leo. And I never thought about it that way--I really don't try to make people think just like I do. Most of the time I seriously consider the other side of things. You are right though, I am a stubborn person and can easily get stuck in my ways. I would like to know from you exact examples of where I seem immature, naive, and not willing to listen to others answers. Not because I don't believe it--but because I don't understand where I'm goofing up! Just email me if you can. Thanks!

Nevermind Casper--you seem a little perverted asking about seventeen year old girl's pubic hair!

Answer 1

I really don't think that asking a question makes a person appear to lack confidence. If that was the case, then every asker in Yahoo! Answers would lack confidence. We know that people here are looking for information. Asking peers for information is a way of seeking knowledge, and acknowledging that you lack knowledge of a particular subject is a mature thing to do. No one knows everything!

I would look at the way you phrase your questions. If you seem to consistently get negative responses or people questioning your confidence then it could be that the way you phrase your questions belies a lack of confidence, especially if you write them very defensively. If you are already defending your own position within your question, that is a sign of someone looking for validation, not answers. People who are truly seeking objective answers state a factual question, without loading it down with a lot of rationale for why they do what the do. For example, writing a question such as "What do you feel is an appropriate bedtime for a 2-year old" is quite different from "Why would you put your kids down to bed at 9 or 10 o'clock?" If you're really looking for answers, you'll take the advice everyone gives and make your own assessment. But if you're looking for validation, you'll more likely state what you do, why you think it's right, why others are wrong, and not really ask a straightforward question. This just invites hostility from people with differing opinions. And if you are automatically defending your position, then you look like you lack confidence. If you're truly confident with your parenting, you won't feel the need to defend yourself, you'll just take the advice that's given and decide what's best for you.

Answer 2

NO,
what u need to is decide how YOU wanna raise your child
FORGET what OTHER PEOPLE OPINIONS BECAUSE OVER HALF THE FOOLS WITH KIDS DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE
DOING
because they had thereS when they were kids
and u have alot of women who are married who go ask there moms or grandma's for advice but they forget that everyone's experience will be similar but extremly different

having a baby is like a new subject that u have live with for the rest of your life u may not know what u are doingwhen ustart but u will once u adjust.

when u are a first time parent it is more than normal to look for an easier way to handle raise or care for your child

but dont set your on path for u and your baby and go from there
because there aint one person in this world that knows everything
AND IGNORE THOSE WHO CALL U INCONFIDENT RAISING A CHILD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR CONFIDENCE IT JUST U NOT BELEIVING THAT U ARE IN POSITION ENOUGH TO MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS FOR THAT BABY
BUT U CAN
AND U WILL

BUT TILL THEN
LET ME KNOW IF U HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS OR NEED WORD OF ENCOURAGMENT

U CAN EMAIL ME AT [e-mail]
GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

since you seem to be getting the same sort of answers to your queries, it's pretty obvious that those who "answer" your Q's don't really have an answer. if you ask someone so and so and they shoot back something totally irrelevant to the question and then call your own personal being into the mix, then it's quite clear that either they were somehow offended by the question or simply do not have an answer that would resolve your question. most people who do not know an answer to something will often shoot out something random and totally irrelevant to the question at hand as an answer. makes them feel like they "resolved" your question without really answering it. Someone who does ask lots of questions is usually viewed as someone not knowledgeable or lacking the ability to go out and find out for themselves. most people take this approach and, rather than answer the question, bring YOU into question as to why you're asking so many questions. get it? it's more a reciprocal method of answering questions that leaves the questioner with more Q's since the answerer never really answered the question in the first place.

Answer 4

Babies dont come with a manual. ALL babies are born with L-plate parents. Its not the first baby, its not the sixth.....all babies have different needs and comfortzones. Parents are always L-plates until they get to know their babies well.....and that is what they are telling you. Its not about incompetence or bad parenting...its about understanding your own child as an individual. Doing that does require questions.

I had my 3rd child (I'm 44) 16 months ago and STILL question myself sometimes and sk questions. Doesnt make me a bad parent just freaking irritated sometimes that what I do doesnt always settle the problem. I have utter confidence in my parenting skills.....as you probably do too in yours. So I think, they say what they do because they dont know how to say, its all a learning curve (not confidence)....use what you can and toss away whatever doesnt work for you.

We all like to think we KNOW but we dont...each kiddy has its own set of actions and reactions to everything....only a parent can learn to read it. Some parents are more pushy than others about espousing their own habits that may not fit with others. Havent you seen Wife Swap or Trading Spouses? How different could their methods be???

Answer 5

I personally go out of my way NOT to hear other people's opinions about my specific situation. Because people cannot assess my situation in a couple minute look at it and yes, there's always a ton of judgemental people out there. Heck, I judge others, too, but I keep it to myself lol.

I prefer to read and read and maybe ask anonymously or something, but it makes a person very vulnerable to open up their life to others, because, as I said, all the criticisms and judging going on. I think you ask good questions and are obviously intelligent about your approach to parenting.

You have to do one of three things:

1. Ask questions anonymously, like for a friend or whatever, or

2. just ask more generic questions about your own situation, or

3. continue to ask for input about your life and expect the "know-it-all's" to come out of the woodwork and be prepared to not care (feel sorry for them, they'll have to learn the hard way that they're not always right about how they chose to raise their kids!)

Answer 6

Hi Lindsey,
From what I see with your past questions, their content and also the way you formulate them, you may be perceived by many to be immature, naive and worse, that you are actually talking to yourself more than you are willing to listen to the answers. You love thinking, furthermore you love thinking that you think. You also want people to see how intellectual you are, that you understand the 360 degrees of the issue and are philosoph.
the above can be irritating to others but you do not understand this. Even when people tell you what they think, which may be right or wrong, you deny and keep thinking your own way having feeling of injustice, not being understood.
Conclusion, I suggest you talk less, you intellectualize less and instead spend all your talented brain into helping others who really need. You will gain maturity and deeper understanding of life, down to earth daily issues around.
Take good care, I am sure you mean well.
Cheers,

PS: are you 'water' astrological sign?

Answer 7

Maybe it is the way you present the question. Like saying "this is happening and I don't know what to do" or saying that you have tried everything and nothing works. I don't know - but everyone has an opinion, few people have facts. a very good resource for parenting advice is Focus on the Family

http://www.family.org/

Dr Dobson is not just for Christians - look into some of his books.
No I am not forcing advice on you or stating your current resources are inadequate, but just simply giving you another resource for you to choose from.

Answer 8

Because it is hard to know where a person is coming from. I don't know you from a hole in the wall so the initial assumption would be that you are asking for help or for someone to validate your choices.
Also, this is Y!A and there are all kinds here. So, when I see your question under someone else's question asking something like 'Will I get pregnant by thinking of my boyfriend naked?' it really gets difficult separating the intelligent from the inane.

Answer 9

I completely agree with you. I find that i want to be as informed as i can. I ask other parents all the time what they think or how they deal with certain situations. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I also read alot of self help books on raising children. I think you shouldn't listen to those that question what type of parent you are. I think it makes you a strong more informed parent for asking. A friend of mine once told me that the best moms question themselves.

Answer 10

Asking questions is not a bad thing, it's a GREAT thing rather. There are probably other people out there wanting to know the answer to the same question but, never ask. Keep asking your questions hunny!! Ignore the negative comments..it's just ignorance that's all!!