Women - Would you get offended if your boyfriend suggested that your table manners are lacking?

Question

I need to have a conversation with my girlfriend about her table manners. She accompanies me to important business dinners in very nice restaurants and she has a tendency not to subscribe to the ettiquette that I would expect her to. What shall I do?

Answer 1

Well, it will depend on the type of person she is. She might be embarrased, mortified, humiliated, hurt, or angry...then again she might--get turned on. Please be kind...don't approach her in a restaurant or in front of other people. Be serious and to the point. Bring up the reasons that her table manners need to be more refined. Listen to her response, tell her you understand and that you want her to be by her side at your important business dinners. Teach her. And, for the big G's sake, please don't use a third party. You need to approach her yourself on this one.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be offended if it was said in a helpful way. Like I don't think I would appreciate it as much if it were said I was lacking, but more like a "lets work on it" approach. If you have something specific that you are looking for though, tell her. Truthfully, if she is someone who you want in your life, you should be able to help her better herself and she you. Maybe you could let her know some of the area's you need work on that she could help you with and then say something about table manners and what is expected by others in business dinners. Rent "Pretty Woman" and show her the scene about the business dinner gone awry but it worked out in the end. Maybe even comment on it to bring it around to a conversation for you two. Good luck!

Answer 3

make a list of the behaviors you really want her to change
--don't be a tight-***

in a conversation with her
talk about how your co-workers (or friends)
discussed horror stories of
etiquette gaffs.
mention HER habits
but put them on OTHER people

then, talk about how
the others in your group
all agreed that those behaviors
are unacceptable

ask her if SHE has any stories
about times she was embarassed
with her co-workers'/friends'
manners at the table, etc.

if she's not thick as a brick
she'll recognize herself
and clean up her act
at the next dinner

if she doesn't get
that you were gently trying
to tell her something
go to plan B

plan B:
enroll you both
in an etiquette course
as a "gift" for...something


nice of you
to be so sensitive of her feelings

Answer 4

It would offend me because Mom sent me to Amy Vanderbilt lessons. If my etiquette isn't good enough for someone, then his or her expectations are too high.

However, that doesn't solve your problem, does it? Solutions: (1) Don't take her. (2) Dump her for Amy Vanderbilt. (3) Get that guy from Pretty Woman to train her. (4) "Honey, you know my business associates are a picky (funny, overly snarky, choose your adjective to make THEM the bad guys) bunch of folks, and I'm worried about it. I'd appreciate it if you helped me take my etiquette up a notch when we're with them. I was thinking of enrolling for some lessons at (insert lesson place here). Will you go with me?"

If you have to pay some proper little old lady to give you BOTH lessons, do it. But when you tell her you're worried about YOUR manners, and ask her to come to lessons with you to support you... two things will happen... (1) you may learn some things about table manners and other etiquette you didn't know, and (2) you have something to do together that bonds you.

Good luck!

Answer 5

talk to her NICELY about it.
I wouldn't get offended if my man brought it up nicely. Just say that you know it's not a common place thing to need to know these days but when you're out with business you'd like her to go old fashioned with her table manners, and bring up one or two little points. If she takes that well bring up some more ect, if she gets upset try to explain that it's just because it's for work and everything needs to be as perfect as possible. If she will NOT learn stop bringing her :(

Answer 6

You must love her. Surely she knows that. I would say, "(name), I enjoy being with you and like for you to be comfortable, but there are a few things you do at business dinners that bother me a little." Then tell her what they are. She may consider these things unimportant but still be willing to respect your feelings about them. I had someone criticize my table manners once, so I bought a book of etiquette and was able to show him he was wrong. In my case it was about eating asparagus with my fingers (it's OK), and asking the hostess for a paper napkin when I forgot to bring a tissue (also the right move to avoid leaving my lipstick on her linen napkin).

Answer 7

i think u should be careful how u convey this message to her because it can be embarassing to her. I suggest u and her to attend a course in dining ettiqutte. it is better for u to go with her. u could introduce the idea by saying "I think i need to polish my dining skills because of my job, honey u know people expect high standards of me and besides i represent my company and i would want to know that i am doing a great job, Babe could u accompany me during this course because u being there would give me more confidence besides i dont know what to expect''

After the course take her out dining to see if she had observed her lessons well and if she makes a mistake point them out nicely/as a joke and probably u could say "honey i cant believe u just did that remem what we learned and also ask her to point out your flaws also. therefore when u both go out again she will be concious of her 'doings'.

Answer 8

It won't be a plesant conversation but you have to do what you have to do, sit her down and talk to her, no matter how tactful you are, expect a bad reaction(she is a woman after all) but it should pass. If she cares about you, she should want to help you to make good impressions. Offer to go to a few ettiquette classes with her, you never know it might be fun and would be a good way to bond.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

she's a lucky chick! so...if i were u, i'd put it in a very nice way, and would make sure u start out with what she does well before you ask her to change. for ex: does she carry on conversations well? compliment her first, and then stay how she could improve. let her know u love her, and know how important impressions are to others, especially in your field. i know that when i go out w/ my bf my manners are so "princess-like" LOL! i cut bread etc...with the knife and fork, and never touch anything with my hands. they tease me...in a positive light cuz they've never seen anyone bee so proper. it's just how i've been taught. she shouldn't get offended...she should appreciate your feedback...

Answer 10

You gotta tell her.......If she knew she was embaresing you and you never told her she would be more upset.

Just tell her in a tactfull way or the other option is to not take her to the dinners at all.....Find a new girlfriend with table manners..