I am a 39 year old female. I have only had chemistry/sparks with one guy that I dated in my whole life. That was when I was 28 years old. In the years before that relationship and after that relationship, I have had several long term relationships where I had no chemistry, "loving feelings", attraction or even friendship with my boyfriends. My friends and family believe that since I was only in love with one guy that I dated, then love is just not something that is going to happen to me very often in life. I am being encouraged that I should give up on love and marry the guy that I have been dating for 1 year. There is no chemistry, "loving feelings", attraction or even friendship with him either. I am very unhappy when I am around him. Everyone says that I probably will never meet someone that I "click with". They say it would be better to have one empty marriage than a string of meaningless boyfriends for the rest of my life. Do you think I can be happy?
2006-09-19 05:58:27 · 12 answers · asked by Should I settle? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look at yourself in the mirror - Do you think you can be happy?
Then look at your own palms and see if you think your life is in your hands. After that,you will know if you can be happy, ever again. Like the time when you thought your were in love.
The one most important thing and principal of my life is:
"Making a mistake is not a crime,
But repeating a mistake or let the mistake takes its course is."
2006-09-19 06:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by Geo C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can never be happy in marriage where there is no love... better not get married,, anyway,, maybe in your place as in any part of the world, living in is already acceptable..
So that when you no longer click, you can just leave him like a rotte leaf. Loving feelings are only for teenagers and not your age. Being "click with" is just a fling and will not last a lifetime.
You did not really have had long term realationship, because if you did... you will not be asking this question anymore... you just have short terms, not even 5 years.
Dont have one empty marriage, but it is even worst to have a strong of meaningless boyfriends for the rest of your life... That would not make you any different from wothlessness.
But having a mutual company for the old age would be understandble that having meaningless boyfriends..
2006-09-19 13:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is traditional in my family for the women to marry for money. It was forced upon my grandmother, who ditched the love of her life, so that she could marry some old man she didn't love because he was loaded. She refused to sleep with him and ignored him. Then my grandfather came back from the French Foreign Legion and they started where they left off. She left her first husband and they lived together till they were finally granted a divorce, which took five years back then.
My mother married my father for money and found out he didn't have as much as she anticipated. He was duped by her and thought she loved him. She has been complaining for 44 years that she didn't live the high life, had to work, didn't have a designer wardrobe inspite of having three closets full, didn't get to cheat on him with handsome men.
My mother is a fake and a manipulator. I say that honestly. She wanted a millionaire? I get in trouble for saying I won't go out with a guy because he is only a dishwasher making $8 an hour and want a condo, kids, and a couple cars. I am not gratuitous, I just don't want no scrub.
2006-09-19 13:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by wife of Ali Pasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally disagree with what people are telling you. Why would you want to be in a loveless, friendless marriage? I would rather be alone than to be in a lonely relationship. Never give up. There is someone out there that will love and cherish you. You are still young and deserve to have a good relationship that will enhance your life not bring you down. Don't marry someone you have no feelings for. If you do you're cheating yourself and heading for a lonely, empty life. Hang in there...get what you deserve...happiness.
2006-09-19 13:07:26 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't marry this guy. You'll be so miserable. Dump this guy and continue to date other men and you'll end up finding Mr. Right. You just have to keep looking and don't settle. If your not on love and are unhappy then stop dating them and keep trying. Don't listen to your family. They should be telling you to keep trying till you are happy and in love. Don't give up on love. You will find someone that you will "click with" just give it time and as soon as you start to feel unhappy end it and move on. Good luck to you.
2006-09-19 13:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by Heather A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should marry him if your not in love. And it is your own life not your friends and family. SO continue to date and maybe you havent found Mr right and who you thought it was before wasnt. Its not wrong to date and buy a dog. Your not going to be alone forever. You still have time, rushing will just make you unhappy.
2006-09-19 13:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by gooblysillyputty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the point of any relationship with no spark? Don't you want that? If you feel you would be happier on your own, then it's time to go. If your satisfied with your current situation, maybe its time for an affair. Plenty of websites to help you find one discretely.
2006-09-19 13:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by say wat? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't found the right person yet! Don't get yourself into something because your family wants it. Believe it or not you are still young, and deserve a "Great love".
P.S. Make sure you are not seeking men that are emotionally unavailable...or make sure you are not the one who is emotionally unavailable.
2006-09-19 13:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by pullmytriggerthenblamemygun 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. If you are unhappy around him, then I think you should stay single. Staying single would make you happier than being married to somebody who doesn't.
2006-09-19 13:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Green-Eyed Gal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
arranged marriages in India.
2006-09-19 13:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋