I've known the boy for 6 years and I know his parents, they are all good people. It appears to be innocent, like a first crush thing. But I dont want to encourage her to be dating on a whim, or let her think that I think it's ok to "date" at 11..
2006-09-19 05:57:31 · 46 answers · asked by Elisabeth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Good friends of ours have an 11 yr. old daughter. She has a mean crush on our 11 yr. son. She came over one day and sweetly asked me if I thought he liked her. I told her that I didn't see why he wouldn't she's terrific however he isn't permitted to have girlfriends at this time because he needed to be focused on school,sports, and learning how to play his instrument and it wouldn't be fair to a girlfriend. She said "Oh, okay well, can I still come over some time?" I said yes and that she and "he" can always be friends. That was the end of it.
About a week later another girl began writing him notes and I found them in his pockets while doing laundry. I asked him about them and also asked if he thought it was a good idea to spend time writing notes during class. About 3 weeks later he informed me that he told the girl that he liked her and thought she was nice but didn't want to get in trouble so he would just like to be friends.
I actually think it was a relief because he is feeling the pressure of doing what so many others. Since then there haven't been any more incidents. Don't be afraid to say NO. It's not a rejection of their daughter but you will be opening a door that will be difficult to close.
2006-09-19 06:09:45 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I would say that you should allow for her to go. If you wouldn't allow for your daughter to be at the movies without an adult, I would suggest you take them to the movies and not sit with them. You can sit a few rows above just in case you wanted to supervise. But if you are comfortable leaving the two of them at the theater alone, of course, you can drop them off and pick them up immediately after the movie's over. Or you can see another movie. Another thing would be to invite more people to go so that it could be a group outing versus a 1 on 1 date. An even more controlled setting would be renting some videos had having the two of them watch them together at your house.
As for her not to think that dating someone at 11 is the norm, you can tell her that you are allowing for her to go on the date because you've know the boy and his parents for a while and that's the reason why you are allowing for the two of them to be going out. Also, if it would have been any other person, you wouldn't be allowing the "date" because 11 isn't the best age to begin dating.
2006-09-19 06:18:24 · answer #2 · answered by E. Princess 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am 23 and I have an 11 year old sister. I don't think it's a good idea. I would promote more of a chaperoned environment. When I was that age, my parents wouldn't let me do that sort of thing either. They let me start doing that kind of thing when I was in the 8th grade, so I guess I was 13 or so. Not to scare you, but sometimes when you drive away from the movie theatre, it's not guaranteed that your kid is going to stay there, either. Trust me....I know from experience. I'd wait a little while. :)
2006-09-19 06:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by vette5_99 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I work at a middle school and believe me, some 11 year olds ARE having sex. But I would only let my daughter go if it was a group thing, not just the two of them. 11 is too young to go on a "date".
2006-09-19 06:02:31 · answer #4 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes don't stop her cause if you do it will make her rebel she will like him even more just cause you said no just let iy work itself out girls and boys can be friends and have a great time, I still have childhood friends they are men now all married as well as i and we have a great time just don[t stop them, Take them to the movies give them time frames go to the mall let them go in one while you go in another you have to show her trust then everything else will fall into place, I have 4 boys and one girl ages are from 21 to 12 my daughter is 19 so i know how you feelbut they do know right from wrong
2006-09-19 06:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by shelly p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went on my first "movie date" at 7 (and this was in 1957!)
I think it's nice that she's popular - 11 is the 6TH grade, and this is the beginning of the dating years (with the parents driving you places, of course). What you should consider is not her boyfriends, but her "girlfriend" group---her behavior with boys, and her sexual behavior will be predicted by the girls she hangs out with, and values as friends, and who she might imitate. Pay close attention to them, the way they act, dress and talk.
2006-09-19 06:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go with her. My dad says he won't let me go on a date alone (I haven't even been on a date yet! lol) and I'm 16. If anything an 11 year old should always have a parent with them. Still, 11 is still really young for 'Dating', maybe y ou should have a talk with her. That kind of thing should start around 13 or 14.
2006-09-19 06:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by PeachyFixation 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If character of the boy is good and innocent and he belongs to a good family, then it is OK, obviously during certain occasions. But, in no way she would be encouraged to be dating in the longer run at this little stage.
2006-09-19 20:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by prasun_k_dey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't she's old enough to have a boyfriend, even just a crush. Kids are growing up so fast these days. Out of curiosity or whatever, it can lead to kissing, heaving petting and who knows what else. I saw a program on 20/20 about teenage and pre-teen girls who gave their "boyfriends" blowjobs but thought that is not considered "sex." I think you should tell her that she's not old enough to have a boyfriend yet, but it's okay to like a boy. Also, she can go to the movies with this boy, but only if there will be other friends (of both sexes).
2006-09-19 06:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think 11 is just too young. Maybe if you go with them, but no way if they're trying to go alone! I wouldn't trust a group date either, what is to stop them from doing anything if a bunch of other kids are around? I would probably not let my daughter go, but if you do, definately go with her.
2006-09-19 06:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by daisy65421 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋