I have been with this girl for 2.5yrs. I have been dating her since I was 16, and I am now 19 and very much in love with her. I know that she only had sex with one other guy and it was her first time. They only did it like 6-7 times, and it was always in one position and he never saw her naked. She has assured me that our wonderful sex life is WAY better than it ever was with the other guy, but it cant stop thinking about her with him. I kinda hate that she wasted her first time on someone she did not even date or love, it was a friend. I just cant stop getting bothered by it. And I drive by his house every day, so I have a constant reminder of the actions that took place between her and him.
Am I normal for letting it bother me so much, or should I find a way to let it go? I always have talked to my girlfriend about it, and she always finds ways to make me feel better about what happened, but I am still bothered.
2006-09-19 05:43:00 · 23 answers · asked by turboman691 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
GET OVER IT DUDE>>>YOUR L>UCKY IT WAS ONLY ONE GUY>>>DUHHH IMAGINE IF SHE BANGED LIKE 10 and blew like 10 more HOW SICK WHOULD U FEEL THEN? hahahha GET OVER IT it was only one guy and sex at that young age always sucks and dont get good till u get in your 20's
2006-09-19 05:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are hoping for a longterm relationship with this girl, you are going to have to let it go. It really has no bearing on your current relationship or how she feels about you. From what you've said here, you probably already know way more details than you should which only enables you to obsess more about it. I have to applaud your girlfriend though for being so open, honest and reassuring. She must really like (or love) you. However, even if she does, eventually your insecurities will begin to really get under her skin. She cannot change what is past regardless of whether it was a good idea or not or how she or anyone else feels about it now. She has chosen to be with you and has been for some time. She has also been very reassuring that you're the one she wants. I'm sure you wish you could have been her first but it didn't happen that way. Be glad you have her now and that you're the one she wants to be with. Life goes on and as you get older your focus in life will change and you'll realize how insignificant that issue really is. So, force yourself to stop obsessing about it now before it becomes a problem. If you cannot stop allowing it to bother you, then maybe you should seek some other kind of help. Good Luck, it sounds like you have a good thing going if you can just relax and enjoy the life you both have now.
2006-09-19 06:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it is normal to be bothered by this, not only that but with AIDS and other STD's it is really nice to know. It was your girlfriend's choice and not your's on who did it with her for the first time. It is good that you can communicate with your girlfriend about this...very important in a relationship. I would try to "put it on the back burner" before she becomes annoyed with it. Go ahead and drive by his house, hold your head high because you have the girl know and she loves the way you "perform".
2006-09-19 05:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by kimpierce76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drive a different way everyday instead of going past his house. Maybe that'll be one way to help. You sound completely obsessed with the fact she lost her virginity to someone else instead of you. You have to get over this. What's in the past is over. She is with you and she loves you. You need to focus on your relationship together now before you ruin it by bringing this up all the time. No one wants a jealous boyfriend bringing up their past all the time. Deal with this and move on. Or she will....
2006-09-19 05:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should never bring up the past in a relationship that is serious because it just brings u down. However it is normal that u keep thinking about it. I suggest u find a way to stop thinking about it because if you keep talking about it with your girlfriend she may eventually get tired of it, because I did.
2006-09-19 05:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by jlex_polite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's normal to think that way about someone you love but it's not normal to obsess about it. so what? she might have made a mistake and wasted her first time on someone like him, but hey, if it doesn't bother her, why is it bothering you?
she is with you now, and she obviously cares about you and has a great deal of patience to make you feel better everytime you bring the subject up. count yourself lucky you have a girl like her, at least she was honest.
2006-09-19 05:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by *JC* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand to an extent that it bothers you (I don't like to think about my bf's exes and what they did), but you also have to realize that it was before you. She wasn't your girl then. And there is nothing you can do to change it. If you must, look at it this way. Yeah he had her first, but you have had her in ways he didn't and you make her scream like he never was able to. You're her man. He was just some kid who didn't know what he was doing. As a result, she's yours and only yours.
2006-09-19 05:50:34 · answer #7 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez. You've got issues. It shouldn't matter to you at all unless you are concerned for health reasons, and by now, you would know whether or not she contracted an std. Your obsessing over the ex-boyfriend is nonsense, she's not with him, nor does it sound like she's interested in going back with him. You are going to hopefully meet a lot of other women in your life and it's pretty unfair for you to judge them by the # of partners they've had.
2006-09-19 05:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a past, she does not dwell on it or long for him so you are wasting your energy on thinking about it. She is with you, and sounds happy with you, far better for you to pour your energy into making your relationship even better than by destroying it by letting jealousy rot it from the inside out. Stop worrying about it, it was just one bloke after all.
2006-09-19 05:49:07 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please try to let this go. It's not really very healthy to dwell so much on her past. I understand that you wish her first was you but teens don't have a lot of self control in that area. She must have felt she needed to experiment. I'd also suggest not driving by his house everyday either. That won't help the healing too well.
2006-09-19 05:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by ღஜJuliஜღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its great that you care about her, and that you love her, but you need to let it go. You will never change her past! It is not possible. So why waste time on thinking and obsessing over it, it will not do anything but break you apart. Besides, she is with you and loves you. Nothing else matters.
2006-09-19 05:48:43 · answer #11 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋