For beating up a little classroom bully known for pushing your kid around and hitting him?
I told my boy, even if he gets in trouble with the teacher for whooping this kids @ss, he wouldn't be in trouble with mommy and daddy, and we were going to do all of the things I mentioned to celebrate. Is this a bad idea? I'm trying to get the boy to grow some balls and stand up to these little 5-6 year old punks in his kindergarden class. Any other suggestions? I've truly had it with the caliber of classmates he has here.
2006-09-19 05:30:48 · 31 answers · asked by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Nope glam, it sure the fudge doesn't. I am tired of my boy's kindness being mistaken for weakness. I don't want him being punked at school.
2006-09-19 05:34:49 · update #1
I'm TIRED of my son being bullied!! I have spoken to the teacher numerous times, and still, it happens. The kids doing this are as big as 3 of my son put together. Look like they failed Kindergarden a few times and should be in 3rd grade. If it was your boy, what would you do?
2006-09-19 05:38:14 · update #2
Funny thing, the other day my 6 year old told me he has been getting hit and pushed around at school.
I too told him to hit the little bully square in the mouth! I told him to stand up for himself and not to allow people to walk on him.
I think throwing him a party is over the top by a ways but telling him to stand up for himself is not in anyway wrong!
I'm not raising a pacifist, nor am I raising a war monger. But I feel that in this day and age too many people are worried about being "politically correct", and they all say "oh he is mean or abusive or whatever because he was abused as a child, his parents were drunks blah blah blah", and they all wanna say lets get together and TALK and take anti-depressants and sh*t. Well screw that! Life isn't always about peace and kindness and a 45 minute hour with your d*mn therapist!
If someone hits you once shame on them, if they hit you twice shame on you for not standing up for yourself and refusing to be treated badly!
So in a nutshell...throwing a party for your kid is wrong, telling him to be a strong, decisive and fearless human being is NOT!!!
2006-09-19 05:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by christine a 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I would never teach my son that beating up another child is the right thing to do. That does not teach your child confidence, it just teaches HIM to be the bully (which sounds like it, too, would be okay with you).
I have a few suggestions. Talk to the school administration, tell them about how the kids don't get along. Maybe they can put your son in another class.
If that isn't an option, how about a different school? Maybe a private or charter school. My son goes to a charter school which is a public school that can have different curriculum than a public school and they have far more control of the children, with smaller class sizes and a firm disciplinary policy.
If that isn't an option either, why don't you try enrolling your son in a taekwondo or karate class. It will help him learn techniques to defend himself WITHOUT violence (believe it or not) because it will help with self-esteem so he can feel better about walking away and not messing with the riff-raff (and thereby becoming one of them). My son can be a victim when he allows himself to be but taekwondo has helped tremendously.
I hope you find a way to deal with your son and this issue without resorting to bribery to make your son a bully. There ARE options.
2006-09-19 05:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by Rogue Scrapbooker 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. I wish we had taught my nephew how to fight in kindergarten. Since fourth grade the bullies have zeroed in on him. They know he won't fight back. It does no good to talk to the teachers or principals nor the Board of Education in Columbus Ohio. He is now in middle school. Last week he was beaten so severely that he urinated blood all weekend. They put two of the bullies out of school for a couple of days. The next week after the bruises started to fade and he was getting better they said we should have taken him to his pediatrician the day it happened and documented the bruises and they could have filed charges. Wonder why they didn't tell us this the day it happened? Probably afraid of the publicity. I am considering putting him in self defense classes. We tell him if he fights back and gets into trouble with the school we will not punish him but cheer for him. So in my eyes no you are not wrong as long as you teach your son not to pick on others and only fight when it is to defend himself from being bullied.
2006-09-19 05:50:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it were my son, I would be having a serious talk with the administration of the school.
If that didn't help, I'd be pulling my son from the school. Teaching your child to beat up other kids when he's 5 or 6 years old is not the way to handle things. I'm not saying that he should just curl up in a ball and let them beat his ***, but don't teach him to be the first one to hit.
If they hit him, he has every right to hit back. I had a friend who's mom told her that she had better never throw the first punch, but she should always throw the last one, lol.
Don't promise him a party, but let him know that he needs to stand up for himself, or the kids are never going to stop teasing him.
2006-09-19 06:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you notice non-compliance, first give a reminder. Remember to make direct eye contact. This simple strategy will work most of the time.
Begin to think of an effective consequence if the reminder doesn't work.
An effective consequence is 1) clear and specific; 2) logically related to the misbehavior, 3) time-limited; 4) varied.
Continued misbehavior requires a warning of the consequence. Move closer to the child than normal conversational distance and make direct and prolonged eye contact.
Be very specific about your expectation and the time frame for compliance. Tell him exactly what the consequence of noncompliance will be.
Walk away and give him the opportunity to comply.
If the warning doesn't work, send the child to his room while you both cool off.
Ignore arguing, whining, or expressions of anger.
After a few minutes go to the child's room. Speak calmly and without emotion. Explain that the consequence is now in effect and how long it will last.
Avoid power struggles by listening to your child and helping him plan how he will do what it is that you ask of him.
Don't let the consequence slide. Enforce it.
Forgive your child for his misbehavior. Start with a clean slate. Don't dwell on past mistakes
Tips:
Don't use yelling, sarcasm, name calling, insulting or hitting. Keep your own emotions in control
Do show respect for your child and recognize his good intentions. Let him know that you know he wants to do the right thing and you are here to help him learn how.
Don't keep a running tab of your child's misbehavior. Implement consequences for misbehavior then let it go.
2006-09-19 05:34:05 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your child's teachers aren't doing their job. If you have talked to them & your child is still being bullied, I would go to the director or principle of the school. If that doesn't work, snatch his @ss right out of that school & send him somewhere else. Just b/c your son isn't hitting back, doesn't mean he is a wimp. He is just doing what he has been taught. My 11 year old son is the same way. He won't hit unless it is absolutely necessary. He uses his words. For example, a boy called him a spoiled "white boy"(my son is bi-racial), so CT called him racesis. The kid never called my son a name again. I've always told my son kids that make fun of you or bully you, are just jealous b/c they want to be you. Your son sounds like a lover not a fighter.
2006-09-19 05:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by r2512r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong to excessively reward a child for using physical violence to solve the problem. You are sending the wrong message to use violence to solve a problem before attempting a peaceful resolution. By all means, if a kid tries to hit him, then he should defend himself. But, it is likely that your son will be the one who ends up getting into a ton of trouble at school. Make sure that the teacher, principal, and then the school district are aware of this. Talk to the bully's parents and tell them that you want this resolved.
If your son ends up whooping the other kids bottom, then your son could end up in juvenile detention for assault. Teach him how to deal with this situation with words worst, and defend himself if necessary, but to not step over the line.
2006-09-19 06:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by Misty T 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Such a tough question.. I recently had the same issue though with my son.. I don't want to teach him to be a bully.. or that it is okay to hit people... but enough is enough.. How many times can you "talk to his teacher".. or tell you kid to tell the teacher when another kid is bullying him? Sure, I don't want my kid to be the little violent jerk at school.. but at the same time.. I don't want him to be the little whiney tattle tale pu$$y who runs away and tell the teacher every time some kid is being nasty and pushing him around. So once I talked to the school enough.. and felt my son had dealt with enough from this kid.. I sat him down and said "you know what.. the next time little "Bobby" so and so pushes you down and throws mulch at you.. I want you to get up.. push him and throw mulch right back at him"... My son is not violent and I am not teaching him to be violent.. I don't give a $hit what anyone says.. I am not going to have my son grow up a pushover... It doesn't matter if he keeps telling the teacher.. it doesn't matter how many times I talk to the school.. He may still be pushed around.. at least he knows now that if little "Bobby" so and so pushes him.. he can push back.. This is the real world.. not some fairy tale.. Little boys are going to grow up getting into Physical altercations with other boys.. I don't promote violence to my son.. He knows it is not OKAY to start fights.. but it is okay to fight back when you are being bullied.. I am not going to have him getting beat up his whole life because I taught him just to "turn the other cheek" or something. So enough of my long story.. And back to your question..
No I have no other suggestions for you.. I think it is perfectly fine to tell your son to fight back once you have had you're fill of dealing with teachers who really are no help at all.
I don't think you should throw a party to reward him of for defending himself... but I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching him to fight back.
2006-09-19 06:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by Legs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is wrong because it encourages violence. I'm sure you don't want your son to be violent and you want him to stand up for himself but , to be frank, you are going the wrong way with it.
One should avoid violence at all costs. Telling your son he will be rewarded by hitting a bully kid will make him want to hit any kid for no reason because he thinks he will be rewarded by it. It would be easy for your son to say he was attacked and fought back. See what I'm saying? You could be turning your son into a bully by rewarding him for violence.
You should reward him for telling the teacher when he is being hurt and/or telling the bully kid that what he is doing is not nice and to stop. Tell your son it is ok to fight back if there is no one to help him.
2006-09-19 05:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by songbird 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How many school shooting were kids who were tired of being picked on in school?
Boy you could go either way with that one.
I just had this situation with my daughter. Kids were throwing a tennis ball at her on the bus so she told them to stop because if she caught it it would go out the window - they did, she did. I was so proud of her for standing up for herself and following through with her warning but reminded her that she could have been disciplined by the school for throwing things out of the window.
Kids do need to stand up for themselves but they need to do it appropritely and I don't think kicking another kid's @$$ is it - unless he is truly defending himself and he gets the better of the other kid. Cool - but don't reward it. He'll get his reward when the other kids show him more respect.
Also find out if he is bringing some of the bullying on himself. My daughter is a smart mouth, impulsive and bossy - basically she has a huge bully target on her head. Find out from the teacher what is going on on both sides of the issue.
2006-09-19 05:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋