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2006-09-19 05:27:32 · 10 answers · asked by sxenerdx <3s her sweet baby 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what's green, slimy, and smells like pork?
kermit's finger.
♣
2006-09-19 05:29:21 · answer #1 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
2006-09-19 12:31:28 · answer #2 · answered by equilibrist 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
a guy goes to a girl's house for their first date. The girl wasn't ready yet so the guy was forced to talk to her parents. He had really bad gas but the dog was nearby so he thought that maybe if he let some out they would blame it on the dog. He did and the mom said "Spot get off the couch" "Good" the guy thought "its working" so he did it again and once again the mom says "spot get off the couch" the guy did it one more time and the mom says "spot get off the couch before he shi*s on you"
2006-09-19 12:33:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A naked girl rode a taxi
"why" the girl asked to the driver,looking thoroughly to her body
"is it your first time to see a naked body?"
DRIVER : hell no! i was just wondering,wher do you keep your money to pay the fare?
A woman gave birth to quadrupletsupon seeing her husband she got out of her hospital bed and slapped him shouting,"Do you see the effects of DOGSTYLE?!"
2006-09-19 12:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by eDraLiN 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
The woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
The woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
2006-09-19 12:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a letter from italian tourist.
Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella.
I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see no sh it in my bed. How can I sleep with no sh it in my bed?
I calla down the Receptione and tell: "I wanna sh it".
They tella me, "Go to the toillett".
I said, "You no understand. I wanna Sh it in my bed."
They said, "You betta not sh it in your bed, you sonnawabitch!"
Signor Diretorre, what is sonnawabitch?
I go down to ristorante for breakfast. I order bacona and eggs and two pisses of toast.
I getta only one piss of toast.
I tella waitress and point to toast. "I wanna piss!"
She tella me, "Go to the toillett."
I say, "You no understand. I wanna piss on my plate!"
She then say to me, "You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch!"
Second person who do not even know me and call me sonnawabitch!
What is sonnawabitch?
Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock.
I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and she tella me, "Sure, everybody wanna fock."
I tell her, "You no understand. I wanna fock on the table."
She then tell me, "So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? Get
your as s outa here!"
So I go to the receptione and ask for bills. I no wanna stay in your hotel no more.
When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me, "Thank you and piss be with you".
I say "Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch."
He looks unhappy and shows me his middle finger. Why, Sinnor Directorre? I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you Sonnawabitch!
Giovani
2006-09-19 12:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by luke s 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What did the Lion say after he ate the Clown??
"I feel Funny"
2006-09-19 12:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by Louise On The Edge 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"My wife just delivered twins..."
"So? You should be happy! Why are you so angry?"
"I want to know which Son Of Bi!ch is the father of the second child!!!"
2006-09-20 02:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I have already posted my funny jokes.
You will have to look for my picture to read them.
2006-09-20 01:28:20 · answer #9 · answered by Dew Drop 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why do we need men?
because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
2006-09-19 12:30:33 · answer #10 · answered by dionne 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋