As a Christian, I believe in forgiving as God has forgiven us. But there are a couple of people in my life who have wronged me; people with whom I no longer have (or desire) contact. I would like to tell myself I've forgiven them for whatever they've said or done, but I'm still a little hurt and bitter about the fact that they did/said these things to/about me. Does that mean I haven't forgiven them?
I don't want to contact these people ever again. But I want to feel like I've truly forgiven them. How can I reconcile this with myself?
Thank you.
2006-09-19 05:27:26 · 14 answers · asked by Lawn Jockey 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
First, if you asking this question, you have not forgiven them yet. We should love everyone unconditionally just as God loves us (ref. I Corinthians 13: 1-13). When we do this, it becomes a lot harder to use and abuse people. Or take them for granted. Or drain their resources. We can do nothing to deserve God’s love because we are undeserving 99% of the time. But God loves us anyway and will always be there for us.
BUT that does not mean you still have to be in contact with someone who has hurt us. I was hurt by someone who was a friend for 10 years. I still love her and wish her the best in life, but we will never be friends again.
You have to remember that some people will never have your best interests at heart, and some are indeed led by the devil. You still must love them anyway. That is the hard part-at first-about loving unconditionally. So when you run across those people during your lifetime, continue to love them, but do what they old people say..."feed them with a long-handled spoon".
2006-09-19 05:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you are burdened by the offense, you haven't truly forgiven them. It is when you can remember the person without bitterness or anger, that you have forgiven them from the heart.
I would begin by praying to the Lord that you aren't there yet, but that you desire to be. Then, tell Him that you are forgiving them, and to make that real in your life. As you grow in this, you will come to a place of genuine forgiveness.
A word of caution however: God may test you on that forgiveness by sending one or both of those people back into your life, and seeing your reaction.
2006-09-19 05:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking you should start with yourself, by forgiving you, then asking God for help in forgiving others that you are unable to do for whatever reason. It took me 19 years before I was able to forgive a family member for the wrong doing against me, and my life was stagnant and trying. when I asked for help it came and my life is so full and now have built on a new found relationship with this family member. Ask it will come
2006-09-19 05:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Islam, we are also taught to forgive others because forgiving others is one of the attributes of God, and God is the Most Merciful.
If you really want to forgive them then you need to do it for the sake of God and not for anything else, God says that if you forgive others He will forgive your sins on the Judgement Day. It's hard to forgive others but if you do it for one reason and that is to please Allah the Allmighty then you will feel no more feelings after you have forgiven them. I would suggest you sit and pray to God, and say: O God, I am forgiving these people (tell the names) for their wrongdoings for Your sake. So please accept it and please forgive me for my own sins. And show me the Right Path so that I will be one of the successful ones.
2006-09-19 06:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by ATK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't forgiven the people you describe in your question.
The baptism you went through, the psalms and hymns aren't going to help you with this.
I have a three day seminar for young adults about ethical survival. We discuss and answer this exact question in the course of the seminar --but it is not a simple question nor answer. Do you live near Washington DC? I will be there in early January doing my course.
Newspaper article describing it:
www.mapsgroup.org/urban_coyotes.htm
2006-09-19 05:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't wait like I did...talk to them. Tell them that you've forgiven them. My chance was gone when the person that wronged me passed away. I wish I had done something sooner.
2006-09-19 05:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by Milkaholic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dearie, if you're asking this question, you haven't yet forgiven them. You know you've truly forgiven when you don't think about it anymore. When its just a non-issue in your life.
2006-09-19 05:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by grisgris0905 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Question friend. Whatever you are doing is correct, if they realized the truth, we can contact the person again. If not so it is better to pray for them. God Bless you.
2006-09-19 05:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by Wilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know if you every bump into that person and do not hate them at first sight. Not to preach those, We need to forgive as we are forgiven.
2006-09-19 05:29:39 · answer #9 · answered by Kenneth G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would pray for them. Maybe even write them a letter or tell them in person that you are sorry and please forgive me. If you have tried all that there is nothing left to do but to give it over ot God and ask Him to help you forgive these people. Good luck!
2006-09-19 05:32:06 · answer #10 · answered by Faith H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋