What is the right age to begin disciplining a child?

Question

For reference to my current question please read:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnABDJMqeObAhnV1JQgEUG3sy6IX?qid=20060915181340AAMpnzM

I asked a question not too long ago about my son who is constantly grabbing for things in stores and just being a “normal” seven month old. I put the question up to a vote because there were a lot of great answers and I couldn’t decide. Today I went back to the question and couldn’t believe which one was voted as best! It’s not that I’m mad at voters, I am just curious as to why is this considered the best answer to some people? If it is then why shouldn’t I say no to my child even at seven months? When do kids “grow up” enough to be disciplined and told “no” for unacceptable behavior? I am just so shocked! Thank you for your response!

Just because some on is an excellent mother doesn't mean they can't ask questions. Yes--all of my questions are about child rearing---that's what I do. I have loads of confidence in what I do or else I wouldn't be asking questions. I was asking for an explaination that is all. In my opinion an excellent mother is one who works her hardest, tries her best, and is willing to seek help if needed.

Along the Pemi--I left it up to the voters because I couldn't pick between all of the great answers (the one picked was my least favorite as you can tell). I didn't want to be vain by picking a question like: "You're doing really well..." You know? I guess my question to you is how old should a child know right from wrong. I'm doing it now because I want him to associate "no" with bad behaviour. I don't see what harm it is doing either. Thank your for your opinion though, I'm not trying to be rude...I'd just like you to go more in depth. Thank you!

And I'd also like to add--when should we expect children to know something--or acknowledge bad behaviour. In one night do they just change and say--"oops, well I guess I'm going to listen to mom now!"

Answer 1

Well in my experience and observation, a child who is started young at discipline will be respectful later in life...those who've i've seen not discipline were untamed. Literally. I've been told that my spankin of the hand is bad. But then those same adults give me compliments that she behaves. I read some books that at six months to get them wire wrong from right. Spankin the hand gently when he reaches for something and tellin him no at the same time works his mind to understand that if i do that again them i'll get sad. Like doctors and experts say....repeat, repeat, repeat is the only way they learn good or bad behavior. If u discipline one way...continue to discipline the same way to let them understand...If u change it up tooo much they get confused.
My daughter gives me new challanges each year on how i have to discipline her to new behavior she learns from social activities from school. At this point we have started the naughty chair.

Answer 2

I am a new dad and have been pretty unsure at times. However, I spend a lot of time with my son. I have been changing diapers and giving him baths for two years now. I never hit him. Occasionally I raise my voice. He is getting there.

My son did not seem to get it for a long time, but at about 10 months he began to understand "No". And "no touch". He is two now and he knows a lot of what is OK and not OK. He sometimes throws a fit but we just wait until he gets over the self-righteous part. Sometimes he has a legitimate cry and we pick him up and hold him. He knows. Do the best you can. IF you are so unsure, go to a new baby class or a parenting class in your area.

The human personality is mostly formed by age 7. Model the behavior you want your child to do. Whatever I do my son does. He copies me. So I have to be careful not to do anything I don't want him to learn.

Answer 3

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Being a parent is a hard job. Been there - done that as a single parent with 2 still in diapers.

When you see that you have a problem like the child grabbing for things in stores, you must learn to position yourself between those items and your child. That may not always be possible and your child grabs at something. Then you have to say "no", then take the item away, and finally reposition yourself between the item and child. Be firm but not mean. Keep it simple and don't dwell on it with your child.

This is a lot of work, but being responsible for a child is important. Saying "no" at the early age of 7 months is correct in my opinion. Children are learning from birth (and before). Teaching your child right from wrong at such an early age is difficult, but can and should be done. Just keep it simple enough for the child to learn.
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Answer 4

The child is ready to learn correct behavior the minute they exhibit incorrect behavior. If a seven month old grabs at things, they need to be told "no" and their hands taken away from what they're grabbing. They will need to be told over and over but that's how they learn. I have a six month old grandchild who grabs my hair and pulls. I take her hand away and say,"no, Carmen, no. That hurts". Behavior is learned so we need to teach appropriate behavior from the very start. We have a bunch out there who just want to reward the good and ignore the bad. Look what that's got us: kids drinking, vandalizing, stealing, doing drugs, shooting classmates and teachers, having sex at 10 years old, having abortions at 14, having STD's while still in school. It's ridiculous to think a parent has to wait till the child is "old enough"? what.....4, 6, 12, never???
Discipline is a lifelong necessity if we're to be responsible people.

Answer 5

At 7 months the word NO means absolutely nothing to him. The best thing to do is just gently remove his hand from whatever is inappropriate. Saying no too much without this action makes the word meaningless - and will cause you later on to wonder why your child is saying NO all the time to you. If you do say no (because I haven't always followed my own above advice) say it firmly without yelling.
That answer was on the money though - how much should one expect a 7 month to know? He just learned to sit up and now he automatically must know the rules? Wait until he is a toddler to establish authority.
My question - why did you leave it up to the voters to decide on a best answer? Which would you have chosen?

Answer 6

The only discipline I think is necessary (or even effective) for a child under 1 yrs old, is any of the following:

-- to say "No" sharply (simply to teach him, even though it will take awhile for him to get it)
-- shake your head no, (I do this for a fun distraction, AFTER they've stopped doing it already)
-- taking the object away (they cry, but that's best for them, so they can learn to handle disappointments),
-- putting him down if you're holding him and he does something painful to you or others (they get the point!)
-- distraction methods (very important technique to be good at)

People who do nothing and let their kids do anything, are just setting them up for failure. ANd, of course, people who beat a baby or toddler are lacking creative parenting skills and are probably a little nuts, too.

Take care :)

Answer 7

my childs pediatrician said that a baby starts to learn what the word "no" means by 18 months. Some earlier, some later. You will know because the kid will look guilty. But before then its almost pointless to discipline. Just try to show them physically not to do something. Not hitting or anything like that, just if he grabs something take it out of his hand or if he hits you, gently take his hand and put it by his side, things like that.

Answer 8

Children need to know what is acceptable behavior and what is not. You have to start telling them right away. You can't expect a young baby to undertand everything, but when they are grabbing at things in stores, you just gently move their hand and say no, and keep them where they can't get into stuff they aren't supposed to. You can't just let your child do whatever they want all the time and then when they're older expect them to suddenly start doing what you tell them to.

Answer 9

I think you HAVE BEEN disciplining your child from the beginning. That is a good thing because to disipline is to teach.

However, I would guess that many people see the word 'discipline' and automatically think 'spanking' - and that may explain the 4 votes for 'don't discipline the kid.'

Hope this helps!

Answer 10

I would recommend discipling them from day 1...or at least when they're old enough to get into trouble. The thing with kids these days is that parents want to be their friend and are afraid of being their parent. If a kid does something unacceptable then you should tell them, "No" and explain why...if it continues then they must be punished in some way.