I have recently gone back to work?

Question

I have recently gone back to work only working one day a week but yet my four year old is having a hard time dealing with this I am home with him everyday except for those 6 hours how can I convince him that I am coming back after I am done working he belives that I am not coming back

I work on saturdays from 4-10 so daycare is out of the question and my roomate babysits him so he is safe

Answer 1

since you are only working one day a few hours it is not to hard to teach him right now. on saturdays tell him that you have to go on an adventure (maybe use his favorite cartoon or action hero) and tell him that you will gone for a little while and that when you come back you will tell him of your adventure. you may feel bad for not telling the truth but it will make him use his imagination, he will imagine that you are actually doing this, you may even bring him something as a reward for being good for your roommate candy or a small inexpensive toy if he like to color bring him a .97 coloring book. it may even keep him occupied the next saturday.

Answer 2

Time...

Who is watching him? Have him get involved in an activity before you leave. When you say goodbye, give him a hug and kiss, keep walking and do not look back. When you pick him up or come home greet him first. As time goes by it will get easier for both of you. Be positive around him and make the fact that you are working not such a big deal. Make the time you are away a true adventure for him. Pack him a lunch, for while you are away, and put in something special that will make him smile...a small toy or a favorite snack or a picture of the two of you.

Call him. It does not have to be a long call nor do you have to call him more than once while you are away but you want to call him at least once just to say hi and make sure everything is cool.

Answer 3

Just a typical case of Separation Anxiety. It shows that you have a healthy bond with him. You need to show confidence that you are doing the right thing when you're leaving for work, tell him when to expect your return, get him started on an activity to do while you're away, give him a special cuddle toy if needed, say goodbye only once, and NEVER sneak out. He will become accustomed to the schedule. He will pick up on guilt feelings, if you have them, and that will cause him to be manipulative (He can't help it; it's his job).

Just make sure that your roommate is actually spending quality time with him, because he could be telling you that he's unhappy or bored with him/her. Often times, a daycare/preschool is a more suitable, stimulating and nurturing environment. He should also be getting some socialization before Kindergarten.

Answer 4

Just keep going to work on your one day, he'll get used to it. When you leave tell him you will be back, give him a hug and a kiss, and then leave. It hurts, I know, but he'll really be okay. If you hesitate or go back several times this will only cause him to continue the behavior. It's good that you are getting him used to not being with you all the time, that way he'll have an easier time of it when he starts school next year. See if you can find a part-time pre-school program for him, then you can work the hours that he is in pre-school. This will get both of you used to him being dropped off somewhere and him being away from home. 50% of him crying is sadness over being away from you, the other 50% is because he knows it makes you feel guilty! Good Luck.

Answer 5

I actually saw something like this on Super Nanny, where a little boy would chase his mother down the driveway because she was going to the store. Super Nanny had the father or care provider in your case get him occupied in something when you tell him you have to go to work now but you'll be back really soon and that might help ease his anxiety. Good Luck I have the same issue with my 4 year old sometimes.

Answer 6

When it is time to go, give him love and reassure him that you are coming back, call once or twice and talk to him while you are away. Give him a special article of clothing, or something else that may be special to you ( that he can handle ) to be responsible for, and let him know what a big boy he is, at some point try to take him to your workplace so that he can see where you go when you leave, and by all means come back when you say you are. One last note, be very sure that you know your caretaker, be sure that nothing of concern is happening with them and your child when you are away.

Answer 7

why does your child have that fear in the first place...is it a real fear (has someone teased him?), is it imagined, or is it just something he "may" grow out of?

Could be you've spent too much time with him and he needs to be with some relatives, (grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins)...and maybe a few playmates. Or, maybe when you leave he fears all his fun time is gone....teach him things he can do while you're gone. Teach him to "trust". First go for short periods of time, and then longer and longer. If he had something else to occupy his time he would not have such a hard time.

Answer 8

Well,4 year old is old enough to understand.Have you tried to explain him that you have to go to work so you guys can eat and live and have everything else?.Where is daddy?If he is gone,maybe the poor thing thinks that you gonna live him too.But for some children takes some time to except the certain things.So be patient,he needs more time to get used to the idea.

Answer 9

you just have to keep comming back bargining with him and begging him is not going to work at 4 he is old enough to understand that you are comming back and so long as the people hes staying with arent abusing him in anyway he will get used to the idea it sounds like your in a power struggle rather than him being really scared your not comming back get him used to the idea now so that hes not having a fit when you drop him off for kindergarden 5 days a week next year. be stong dont bargin dont stick around and allow him to cling to you when you drop him off just say your goodbyes and go.

Answer 10

i dont know, i would like to know this same answer, i was thinking of gettin a part time, few evenings a week job, but my 14 month old is so attatched to me im scared she will not adapt to this change very well, she crys when i use the bathroom and close the door thats how bad it is. but i wanna work for the extra money for xmas u know. I totally understand what ur going thru