my son's teacher gives the kids treats every friday (such as small toys or candy). My 5 year old got his candy friday, ate it. all was good. Yesterday, when I go pick him up, his teacher tells me that he ate some kids candy that was in the other child's basket. the excuse "it was there and i wanted it". I was really upset. I told the teacher to not give my kid a treat this week but allow the other boy two.
My cousin thinks I over reacted and I shouldn't have done that. That he is only 5 and doesn't really know right from wrong. I think I should of done more.
Opinios please.
I did talk with my child and explained.
2006-09-19 05:01:56 · 40 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I don't see anything wrong with punishing a 5 year old for wrong actions. My son is 5 (will be 6 tomorrow though) and he definitely knows right from wrong. Sometimes children choose to make the wrong choices and it is our job as parents to teach them the consequence for their actions. I'm not saying that we need to over do it, but I don't think what you did was going overboard at all. Children will test out the waters from time to time. I think that you are a great parent for caring about your child and his actions. Most parents would get upset that the teacher confronted them or thought their child did something wrong. It is great that you care and you spoke with your child also. So, no, I don't think what you did was wrong at all, and I don't think the next time your child will take something that doesn't belong to him. He'll more then likely remember what happened the last time and think twice about it.
2006-09-19 09:34:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I don't understand is why the teacher didn't bring this up on Friday?
I agree that your son needs to learn right from wrong, but you need to remember that by this Friday he won't remember why he is being punished. It's a difficult situation when we're talking about a week-long wait in consequence. There needs to be a direct connection for the child to really learn from this mis-step, so he will know the difference between the proper and the improper action. Otherwise he'll think that he's being treated unfairly and won't learn anything from this.
2006-09-19 05:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by Jen J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have twin boys, age three and you didn't over react. They know what they do and they know when they do someting wrong. I hate to say this but you're cousin is a fool. If a 5 year old knows how to go to the bathroom, they know whats right from wrong. The same goes with sharing, stealing and everything else in life. You did the right thing by talking to your child and explaining what he did was wrong. Just make sure that when next Friday comes, to remind him that he won't get candy.
2006-09-19 05:15:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ron G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 5 they DO know right from wrong! But something as small as a candy is sometimes unclear. I would explain how the other childs feelings would be hurt. But give him a chance to remedy by taking a candy to school for the other child. I have two kids one 11 and 4 both girls so they maybe easier to appeal to the emotional side? But I personally think giving them the chance to feel good about themselves by doing for someone else also provides another lesson! Punishing just may add to the feelings of shame he already feels? But you know him best!!! Poor guy life is so hard at this age!! Good luck
2006-09-19 05:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you did the right thing. The only way children learn right from wrong is to TEACH them. Conesquences match their choices, and then they can predict all the consequences, eventually. I'm surprised the teacher went along with it though. They are so politically correct these days. I'm surprised she didn't call it "shaming." They seem to selectively call everything "shaming" now: time-out, star charts, etc.
~~I just caught Jen J.'s answer. She is very correct and I didn't notice before that there was such a delay in applying the consequence. I vote hers for "Best Answer."
2006-09-19 05:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by georgia b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh i agree with what u did and no he shouldnt get a treat at all not even a sticker, what he did was wrong and he should be punished all the way. also ur cousin is insane, a five yr old should know right from wrong, its all in parenting. I hope she doesnt have children with that attitude or else her kids are not going to be very well behaved and will make excuses for there actions and never realize when its there fault. My sister in law is that way.
2006-09-19 05:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by cudybug 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Five is plenty old enough to understand that it was wrong to take someone else's candy, and he needs to understand that there is punishment for such behavior. Your solution is perfect.
The only thing that I would change would be to have a quicker punishment next time - like no dessert after that night's dinner. A five-year-old can certainly remember from one week to the next, but a quicker punishment would set the lesson better in his head.
2006-09-19 05:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did good by not overlooking this incident just because your boy is "5." Children need to learn in order to become well balanced adults. Kudos to you! But perhaps he should be denied candy during the next opportunity to gain some. If he does it again, well he will be denied candy for the next two possibilities and so on. This will prevent your son from becoming resentful.
2006-09-19 05:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Zoila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is your decision on how to raise your child, no one elses. 5 is quite old enough to start teaching, in fact from my opinion and experience you should start teaching as soon as they are born, the sooner the better, they do remember, my 3yr old remembers stuff from when she was 1. it is also the teachers decision to let the other child have 2 things, if she would have said no, then i would have asked the mother if there was something that you could do for the boy, or maybe your son could do for the child. teaching good values is something that you do not see anymore and if your son sees you do it for someone then 9 times out of 10 he will learn to do the same
2006-09-19 05:12:09 · answer #9 · answered by treys girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think what you did was right, but you need to make your child apologize also. Children that age do know right from wrong...I was a preschool teacher for a long time and I dealt with 4 and 5 year olds, your cousin is wrong.
2006-09-19 05:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋