my kids are out of control and they are only 8 and 3 very disrespectful,ungrateful, and plain out rude?

Question

will not follow directions, screaming and yelling, fight each other disrespectful to selective people, bed time is hell and getting up in morns is too help me any suggestions? oldest one has health issues however i don't think spanking is an option for her therefore i hate spanking number 2 child

Answer 1

Sounds like you don't have clear rules & expectations for them, along with definite consequences for infractions. You have to be firm and consistently enforce your rules. And the consequences have to be unpleasant (whatever you choose) so they won't want to experience them (like losing privileges or something). You have to be an enforcer because you are the parent. If you haven't commanded their respect, they will walk all over you. Check with your community services, pediatrician, church, or school district and find a parenting class ASAP. It is no different than taking a course in anything else that we need to learn about except for one thing: our kids are the most important and precious things in our lives and deserve the best parents we can be. So if you are willing to take instruction on computer programs, taxes, home ownership, car maintenance, etc, why not take instruction on being a good parent? Go for it. You all will be happier and healthier.

Answer 2

One you can't treat them the same if one has medical problems. The three year old is at the stage you need to crack down now and let them see that big sister can't do some things that she can and there for life won't always be fair. Find something they like whether it be a toy, movie whatever and take it away and make them earn it back. We start bedtime at 7:30 in order to get the kids in bed by 8. That allows for all the extra hugs they want, the bathroom trip or drink of water. When go to bed we get everything ready for the next day so they can sleep a few extra minutes in the morning. As far as them fighting to a certain point that is normal with siblings however I have found the easiest way to deal with it is to send them to their own spot to play when they start fighting and if it is over the tv or something like that then none of them get to watch it. Try to spend one on one time with each child as well. When they are bad correct them right then even if it means leaving a buggy full of stuff and going outside the store, if they are rude and disrespective to someone then tell them right then that it is wrong and make them sit down for a few minutes. Always follow the same plan if something is wrong today it is tomorrow. Start with one thing that bothers you the most and work on it you can't change everything over night and as they act the way they should praise them for it and tell them how proud you are then slowly add on another issue. Good luck

Answer 3

Have you watched nanny 911 or any of those. Time out usually work but you have to be consistent everytime and fair. It will be a week or so of hell but if you are consistent they willl settle down as they feel safe with the boundaries and know they are always there. If the boundaries are always changing they will test them everyday to see where they are. Plus, having a routine that involves you spending some time with them a little everyday is huge. As for bedtime start a bedtime routine, so they are not caught off guard, like 15 minutes of story time before bed. It settles them and they know at the end it is bed time. Time outs are 1 minute for every year old the child is up to 10 minutes. Don't let them get out of the time out sit down with them if you have to until they get it. It is a lot of work in the beginning but it gets better. Good luck you can do it and you are a great parent just for trying!!!!

Answer 4

Obviously your "time-out" method isn't working. Children learn by example. Remember you are the parent and they are the children. It's never okay to be disrespectful. I don't know what kind of health problems your child has, but that's no excuse to spoil them. They are only 8 years and 3 years old. Imagine what it's going to be like when they are 13 and 8. Your younger child is following what the older child is doing. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure your children become fine adults and you are not doing that. A little pop on the butt never hurt anyone. You need to stop being afraid to be a parent and inforce discipline and respect. Otherwise, you are going to be in big trouble when they get older.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like your children are running your home, they have taken over. I feel for you, but this did not happen overnight. Children need rules to follow and consequences if they do not. As a parent you have to enforce these rules and FOLLOW THROUGH if the children misbehave. This does not necessarily mean spanking your child. You can stand your child in the corner, put them in "time-out", take away activities or assign chores (even a three year old can help you around the house or learn to pick up after themselves). In the event they are rude or disrespectful you can sit your child down (even the three year old) and explain to them why they cannot speak to others in this fashion, that it hurts feelings, is improper behavior and bad manners. You can reflect to them how they would feel if they were spoken to in this manner and remind them how they would feel. At that point I would have the child apologize to the person whom they were rude too. Until your children learn that you make and enforce the rules in the home, and it is not up to them, they will fight you all the way. Eventually they will learn (If you FOLLOW THROUGH) that Mom means what she says, and their are negative consequences for misbehaving. Just as it is important to discipline and have consequences, it is just as important to praise and have a reward system for improvements and good behavior. Children seek out attention in either form, good or bad. If they receive the most attention by misbehaving, they will go that route, as it is the same for good behavior. You have to understand that behavior changes take time and you will have to be consistent and always follow through immediately when they refuse to behave. You are the parent; it is time you take control back of your home so your children may grow up to be productive, respectful adults.

Answer 6

How did it get so out of control? 3 you can still reign in without much fight, but the 8 year old is going to be an issue, but is totally doable with some patience on your end and total commitment. There is a book out there that I would recommend that is AMAZING when it comes to discipline it's called "Smart Discipline" BUT the trick is... the mom and dad also have to be commit ed. The reason children are so out of control a lot of the times is because the adults in their life are inconsistent with their discipline. I can attest to this being a single mother... One day it's OK for Johnny to jump on the bed because I'm too tired to fight with him about it, the next I punish him. How unfair to him?

Answer 7

You must not spank one, and not the other!

Consequences for bad behavior should be clearly explained IN ADVANCE, and implemented immediately. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, tell them to stop a behavior more than once! Failure to obey MUST result in an immediate loss of some freedom! Time out, or the punishment of your choice.

Parents MUST be on the same page with behavior modification.

Parents must not argue in front of the children.

Children should know what to expect when they misbehave, and have no doubt about the consequence.
DO NOT reward bad behavior with hugs and apologies, but DO REWARD good behavior both with hugs, and appropriate freedoms.

Don't by them toys they have not earned

If this doesn't help, call Supernanny!
God help you, you need it!

Answer 8

Well, you won't win any parenting awards, but they are still young. Take control away from them, health issues or not. You are the parent. When you give them punishment, like take something away or whatever, explain to them why, calmly. Spanking isn't the only way to get the point across to them. Take a parenting course, and consider not having any more kids. Either you control them now, or the law enforcement controls them later, your choice at this point.

Answer 9

Do they share a room? They need routine, activities, and an established punishment guide.... Don't yell.. that only encourages their behavior! I don't care for spanking either... Grounding works for the 8 year old... send them away while you think of a punishment.... stick to it.... build fear that way.... get creative with them... give responsibility... and know it won't work over night...
Nanny 911 is such crap.... nothing works in just a day or two.

Answer 10

THey didnt learn this behavior from themselves, it was instilled in them by their parents.

You have to fix yourselves in order to fix them.

If you dont want them to act in certain ways then you need to first teach them the right way to act, expect that from them, and then dicipline them for acting otherwise, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

If one two three ends in time out or a spanking every time, then you can bet that by 2 those kids are pulling themselves together. Obviously you havent been consistant in your parenting, and this is the result. Its the only result you get from inconsistancy.

if youre not going to spank, thats fine, but there needs to be some from of dicipline, be is time out or whatever, and you need to stick to your guns no matter what, no matter where you are, no matter what health issues are present.

That child has to live and function the same in society with or without health issues. treating her different just because of that is simply giving her the impression that her health is her crutch and excuse to behave however she feels.