What's a best method of punishing a really bad hyperactive child?

Question

I have a Nephew and he never learns a thing when we punish him. we set him on the stairs but i knew that never works. Plus my little sister also punished alongside with him and they just chat and play around. I think my ideal of best punishment method would be empty rooms and they stay there for 10 minutes. What about you?

Answer 1

Different things work for different kids....my friend's hyperactive kids work well with a demerit system because they lose activies each time they get demerits....spanking works for some kids....writing i will not do (insert soemthing here) works for other kids...etc

Answer 2

It is not at all a solution to punish a hyperactive child. Instead he should learn to calm himself. Also you should not call him a "bad" child. It is not a crime he is doing when he is hyperactive. It is rather a problem he has and that he has to learn to overcome. I don't really have experience in this regard but I am sending you something a preschool teacher with 12 years experience wrote.

"Over the years I have had to come up with alternative techniques to disciplining children and they work! Using natural and logical consequences whenever possible work best. Taking away a toy or privileges when a child misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he or she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If a child makes a mess, they clean it. If they break something, it goes in the trash and no one can use it. If they can’t sit politely with the class, they get placed away from the group until they are ready to sit politely. The discipline always fits the crime.

Another technique I use when a child is misbehaving is this. As soon as they misbehave, I get down to their level and say "I don't like when you (I explain what and why)." I take them gently by the hand and put them in a spot away from the other children and say "When you're ready to (control yourself, listen, behave) then you can come back with us." This is not a time out because I do not set a time limit (me controlling the child). The child returns when he or she is ready to control themselves."

I think it is very convincing what she said the children have to learn to control themselves.

If you don't succeed seek advice from people who know something about children's psychology, try methods of supernanny or use some parenting book, but please understand he is not a culprit who needs punishment, but a child who is developing and needs help and guidance.

Answer 3

I suppose once you are to the punishing stage it is a little late. Obviously he is not getting the message then.
I would focus more on prevention. Model good behavior and make it known that you expect he will behave. Praise the good things he does. Be very consistent with your reactions and rules. Children need limits- ask yourself if he is doing naughty things to get attention? If you make mistakes, yell or lose your temper, apologize. This helps kids know we are not perfect and that we respect them too.
If he has good role models, has a set bedtime that allows for plenty of sleep, eats healthy foods and not too much sugar and still seems hyperactive I would look deeper into why and possible seek medical help.

Answer 4

Children are very hard and can test you. I have two nephews who are completly out of control and I do not know the right answer, it is different with each child. There is a great show called the Nanny and she gives very helpful advice for proper discipline and only deals with very difficult children. A lot of times it is not only the child that needs to learn to change but the parents as well. I have tried a few things I learned from the show with my nephews and they seem to work. I hope you can see the show wherever your from, check it out it may be your answer. Good luck.

Answer 5

What ever you do don't spank him. Children who are already suffering from hyperactivity are already struggling with self control issues, so corporal punishment is definitely not the answer.

If the problem is really advanced and right out of control, try seeking the advice and help of a local psychologist in your area. Someone who specializes in child related issues would be the best. I wish you nothing but good luck with it.

Answer 6

They don't need to be punished together for sure - they will just play. My husband used to punish our children by making them stand in the corner w/ their nose to the wall (he'd draw a circle to put their nose in, or better yet, make them hold a coin to the wall w/ their nose along w/ your desired time limit). For every time they dropped the coin, they had to stay a minute longer. Try it yourself, you won't like it!!! And sort of on the same subject, but not, my daughter has a hard time w/ her 3 year old pooping in his pants at night, then playing w/ it come morning (sorry to be so graphic), but had to get my point across. She has gotten tired of cleaning up after him (she also has a 1 1/2 and newborn to see about), so now they make him clean up his own mess w/ dads guidance so it gets done right.

Answer 7

If you are going to use that method I think you are supposed to use a minute for each year old the child is. i agree that the child should be separated from other children and play items for a more successful punishment.

Answer 8

You should watch Supernanny. Try a naughty seat or a reflection room. The reflection room is basically putting them in a empty room for X amount of minutes(however old he/she is) and then they have to sit there, doing nothing, alone, and when their time is up, they have to come out and apologize to you and whoever they hurt and then you drop it.

The naughty seat, is a bench/chair/stool/whatever that they have to sit in for X amount of minutes, until they apologize to mom/whoever then you drop it again.

When I say it, I mean you forget whatever they did. No bringing it up 10 minutes later or whatever.

But no, don't punish them together, put them far apart, so that they can't communicate.

Answer 9

Incentive works well with hyperactive kids. Give them a reason to behave even if that reward is a big, huge hug with extra praise. Let them know what they did to please you. Be up front about behavior that you expect while they are in your care - even if you have to go over it each time they are with you. Also, they should be separated during time out.

Answer 10

don't spank. that just fuels the matter. try talking to him calmly. go for walks or ride bikes. get him out out of the house to calm down. i have a cousin that was like this when he was younger and some crazy doctor told my aunt to restrain him which was the worst idea. talk to him though and spend quality time with him. he needs quality time with people. why are you punishing him and not the parents???