6yr old refuses to get up for school!?

Question

For the last 2 weeks my 6 yr old daughter has been fighting us on getting up for school. She claims she is tired and wants to stay in bed. School starts at 7:45 and I get her up at 6 Am. Her sister gets up with out a problem. This morning she refused to get out of bed. We have tried everything to get her out of bed. She has lost watching her TV to her cheerleading and she still continues to do this!! She is in bed at 7 and won't fall alsleep till about 9. sits in bed and plays and talks to herself. I am at a total lose on what to do! She plays outside and it doesn't seem to wear her out! Any ideas on what to do to get her to go to sleep when she goes to bed?

She gets a warm bath with lavendar every other night! She doesn't take a nap when she gets home from school which is 2:30 in the after noone. We do have open house at school this Thursday we are planning on going. She started doing this stuff towards the end of last school year. She is in 1st grade this year. She has never had any troubles with her freinds that we are aware of. Her sister even tries to help get her up in the morning.

Spraying water in her face is just wrong. Yanking her out by her arms is also wrong. She is picked up and set on the living room floor and the TV stays off till she dresses and eats breakfast! As a Parent I do try to teach my children the best way I can!

Answer 1

Hi

Obvioulsy as her parents you have or are in the process of finding out if there is anything at school that is causing a problem making her want to NOT go.

remember it could be something very small or simple to your adult mind but huge to hers... could be something as simple as a certain group of kids not playing with her at recess.
Ask her teachers at open house.

You should also consider a medical cause.. Make sure she is ok ,,, maybe a check up and don't forget an eye check.

Have you tried to sit down as her friend and talk to her.. tell her she wont be in trouble for anything she says but you are concerened because she seems to be having trouble

Maybe ask HER for ideas on what SHE thinks would help get her up.. let her have some control in it.

Also maybe having more physical activity when she got home to tire her out a bit more would help .. but not after maybe 5 or so if you want her n bed by 7pm..

You could try giving her her own new alarm clock go shopping and let her pick it out nd she only gets to use it or have it IF she gets up....

FINALLY if all things are done,, she is medically ok, you have tried everything else......

WELL........
This works for smaller children soo
You can talk to her and tell her what the consequences are if she does not get up ahead of time and expect she will try them out at least once....

Tell her tomarrow morning if you do not get up in time to get dressed and eat before school You will go to school in your Pajamas. Make sure you tell the teacher of this as well so she is not shocked.

Then if she does not get up... once it is time to leave... grab her book bag and load her n the car and take her to school...
You can bring clothes along or not .. you choose...

Its tough love... but if she is doing it out of stubborness or manipulation... this should work...

SHe gets a clear message she will go to school PERIOD dressed or in PJ's
It wont take long for her to figure out Mom means business and she does not want to got o school in her jammies.

This is after you are sure there is not a reasonable cause for the behavior,.. and you maybe try some rewards... like pennies in a jar or something everytime she is dressed and ready on time she gets a reward.. maybe 5 pennies is worht going for ice cream or something and she gets a penney for each day she is up and on time...... IF all is done and nothing works......then you need to get tough

If you end up using this approach , just make sure everyone is on board and it is done matter of fact like not as a punishment but more as a natural result of her not getting up and getting ready.

Sorry dear, you did not get up in time and now we have to go .. We have not more time and you cant be late for school...You will have to get dressed at school. And you go..... calmly.. you are in control... let her see that.. cause if it turns out she is deliberately doing this then she has found a way to gain control over you guys.. and she may like it... you have to take the desire away to stop the behavior... If she refuses to get in the car.. TAKE HER, belt her in to her seat and go... she may toss a fit like no other at having to surrender her power... each child is different.
Again Calmly giving her a choice.. you could say,.. WE ARE leaving to go to school now.. You can walk yourself to the car and get in or I can carry you.. which do you want... if she refuses to co operate t hen you just carry her kicking and screaming if need be. But she may decide right then and there you mean business and beg to let her get dressed... if she does at that point I would still stand firm and say no time you will have to get dressed at school and you go... if you get to that point and cave she will see that .... then all you have done is moved your strtuggle to the point of when you are getting out the door.
I know its tough... but IF all else is ruled out then this may just work.. never seen a kid it did not work with! Hang tough MOM

Oh yeah and DONT forget that once she does get up on her own and get dressed to reward her... Verbal praise something to let her know you are proud.

If you yell and scream about it then it will seem like a punishment. Avoid this.

I wish you well and hope any of this helped!

Wismom

Answer 2

Several of the answers here seem a bit over zealous to me. I agree with the other answer that suggests a problem of some kind at school. If this has only been going on for two weeks and there was no problem before that, something has changed. Just taking away her priviledges isn't going to solve the problem at school.

Talk to your daughter in a very relaxed atmosphere. See if she will explain why she doesn't want to go to school. She may not, but it is worth a try. She may be too embarassed or scared. Don't pass judgements at this point. At only 6 years, she hasn't the ability to deal with some issues. You need to support her, not punish her. If it turns out that it is her fault, then you can determine what to do about her. Assume for the moment that someody has intimidated her very badly.

You need to talk to her teacher and/or the principal to see what is going on. Ask them to see if they notice any problem with another student. Sorry to say, but there could also be a problem with an adult. You might need to visit her class or "volunteer" at her school so you can see for yourself what is causing this.

When I was in second grade I had a couple of older boys try to molest me during recess. I didn't tell anybody because I was too embarassed. I still went to school, I just didn't leave the classroom for recess for a long time. As I look back, the most disappointing thing is that nobody ever tried to find out why I didn't go out to recess. I was going out, then suddenly stopped and nobody thought about it. It was a long time ago and things were different then.

Answer 3

Not a thing. Keep dragging her out of the sack and sending her off to school. Think. What would your mother have done?
Six year olds have no say in the structure of things they're required to do. It's your responsibility to see that those rules are enforced.
You haven't tried "everything" just yet. One good yank on the arm to pull her off the bed and tell her to get moving should work. If she wants to play games....eliminate the cheerleading. Eliminate any other activities she enjoys doing. Repleace them with dishwashing, trash removal, etc. Too "tired" to go to school? Give her some stuff that will show her what "tired" really is.
Oh...and no letting her stay home from school if she refuses to go. Tell her if she'd enjoy sitting in class in her PJ's and slippers that's okay with you and your husband. She'll see the light.

Answer 4

Does she have an alarm clock? Get her a loud and obnoxious one if she doesn't yet. We got my son one that talks loudly and also vibrates so it shakes his bed.

Instead of punishments for not getting up, consider incentives for getting up and getting ready quickly. Morning TV or computer time before school if she is ready quick enough. Earning a sticker each day and a prize at the end of the week if there are no problems.

When the alarm goes off, go in and open up her curtains/blinds and let the sun in. Turn on the lights. Lay down in bed beside her for about 5 minutes and massage her back and talk to her about what is coming up for the day. Make it some private, quiet cuddle time as she wakes up. Make it pleasant instead of like a drill seargent trying to drag her out of bed.

Then if she isn't ready to get up, you can tickle her to try to get her awake. Or take her out of bed and walk her to the bathroom. Or even threaten her with an ice cube. Usually you only ever have to get the ice cube once...after you do it they don't want you to ever do it again and they'll move if you just say "ice cube!"

Answer 5

I don't think it has to do with when she goes to sleep b/c even from 9 pm to 6 am is 9 hours sleep. 9 hours is plenty, even though you might not think so. I think maybe she is having troubles at school so she doesn't want to be there. Now if there are no problems with school and she is just being stubborn about going to school, do what my mom did to me...call the police. Not 911, the non-emergency number, b/c it is required by law that students go to school no matter how old or young. Now, this is all just to scare. It seems cruel, but i used to do the same thing at 6-7 years old. And my mother has told me that ever since then i went to school on time unless i was really sick. And tell her after they leave that if she is that tired to go to the nurse and see what she says. After a while of going to school on time and comming home and being active after homework she will pass out at the desired time. =) good luck

Answer 6

My daughter was the same way. We jsut had to keep putting her to bed and making sure there were no ligets or anything to play with. If I heard her talking I would go tell her to close her eyes and be quiet. If she didn't want to sleep then she had to at least lay there and be quiet and still. She didn't function good unless she had 12 hours of sleep. Now I have no problem she goes to bed at 8 on school nights and gets up about 7:30am. Every now and then I have to reminds her to be still and quiet but not usually.

Answer 7

I was watching Nanny 911 the other day where this one child wouldnt get up for school, parents were having an awful time getting her out of bed.. Nanny sugested that they tell her she's going anyway even if she goes in her Pajama's.. So one morning her mom tried to get her up, again she refused so her mom put her an outfit of clothes in her book bag and took her off to school in her PJ's.. You can try rewarding her for doing what she is told.
Make a chart with her name on it and when she does good put a sticker by her name. When shse has so many stickers by her name get her something special. It doesnt have to be anything big.

Answer 8

When I would refuse to get out of bed, my mom would:

1. Bring me "coffee milk" (which was more warm milk than coffee)

2. Take my covers and pillows if that didn't work

3. If all else failed, she wold throw cold water on me; about a glass full. That always worked. =( not very pleasant though... It only happened twice. After then, whenever she took my covers, I would jump out of bed. FAST.

Warm milk usually helps put kids to sleep, whole milk works best.

I do hope I helped a little. My step-sister is 7, and I suggested this to her mom too. It worked for her. Kids that age have trouble getting up early (I sure did).

Answer 9

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Answer 10

My 8 yr old does the same thing. Although, taking away a privledge usually works on him. I take him to daycare in the morning before school, and she feeds him and gets him on the bus, so all he's responsible for is getting dressed. There was one day where he just refused, so I discreetly stuck a change of clothes in my purse, and told him if he didn't get up he'd go to school in his PJ's. He didn't believe me, and when the timer went off (sometimes helpful to try to get them to beat the time on the way out the door) and he was still in bed, I picked him up, carried him (screaming at me) out to the car, and took him to daycare (still screaming at me). I got my point across, and he's never done it again.

Answer 11

I honestly don't understand why elementary kids are in school that early!!! I would have passed out in school! That would be my #1 problem.
When you bring her from outside feed her and give her a bath! I'm telling you it works! She's full, she's had a warm bath her body should be worn out from playing and digesting all that food! If not then start putting her in bed right after dinner. Hopefully by 8 she'll be sleep, if you have space in your home take all of her toys out of her room so she can't get out of her bed and play with them. Just taking them away won't work.