My 9 month old fights his sleep!?

Question

He has always been great with his nap and night time routine, but for the last week he fights it! I can be flexible a little on the routine, but he shows all signs of being sleepy and ready for his nap/bedtime, but when I go forth the process and lay him down he get upset and yells at me. At first the problem was teething, but thats done and now that he can stand and walk around in his crib he wants to get out and play or just hang out with mommy. I'm an attachment parenting style mommy, so "crying it out" is out of the question, but I've tried every thing else and I'm feeling frustrated and exhausted. any advice or experiance stories?

Answer 1

Mindell's
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Have a consistent bedtime routine and put your baby to bed drowsy but awake. Then do a simple checking routine. If your baby is crying, go back into his room. Pat him and tell him that everything is okay, but that it is time to go to sleep. Don't pick him up or cuddle him; be gentle but firm. Leave. Wait about five minutes, then check again. Do this repeatedly until he falls asleep, extending the time between each visit. Continue to respond to your baby during the night. Read more about Mindell.


Ferber's
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Take a close look at your bedtime routine. It's important to put your baby to bed when he's awake so he'll learn to settle himself to sleep, both when you first put him down and if he wakes up during the night. If you're not doing this, consider changing your nighttime ritual. If your baby still won't fall asleep, try letting him cry for progressively longer intervals of time before you go to him. Start at five minutes, increase to ten, and so on. After each interval, you can spend about two to three minutes with your baby, reassuring him by talking to him and possibly patting him. Don't pick him up or rock him. Read more about Ferber.


The AAP's
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First make sure that your baby is tired when you put him to bed; if he's having trouble falling asleep, it may be that his naps are too long. Try waking him up earlier from his afternoon nap and see whether that does the trick. If your baby wakes up at night and starts wimpering and you're sure he's fed, dry, and healthy, don't jump up right away. Instead, wait a few minutes before going to him to see if he falls back to sleep on his own. If not, stay with him for about a minute and reassure him you're there by talking to him — don't pick him up, turn on the lights, or touch him.

When you go in, stay calm and keep it brief. If he keeps crying, wait a little longer each time before you go in, then repeat the above sequence. The key is to be consistent. Try turning on a night-light or leaving the door open, too — that may be all it takes to help him calm down enough to fall asleep. Read more about the AAP.


Brazelton's
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Don't put your baby to sleep by rocking him in your arms or letting him suck at the breast or bottle; he'll learn to associate these things with settling to sleep rather than depending on himself. Instead, to help signal sleep to your baby, develop a supportive bedtime ritual that includes things like a bath, a bedtime story, and a lullaby. Get him in bed while he's still awake, sit by him, pat him, and generally reassure him without words. Once he's a little older and the risk of SIDS is lower, you can give him a transitional object such as a blanket or stuffed animal, too. Read more about Brazelton.


Sears's
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Comfort your baby to sleep: Rock him, and lie down together until you see that his face is motionless and he's in deep sleep. Establish and stick with a bedtime ritual and try cuddling up and pretending to sleep to let your baby know it's bedtime. Read more about Sears.

Answer 2

Sleep is such a fun thing. My son didn't sleep well at all at 9 months, but we continued with developing his night-time routine anyhow. It takes time, but he will get back to the point of sleeping well again.

Maybe try laying him down a little earlier than you have been, overtired kids seem to have a harder time getting and staying asleep.

I could never let my guy cry himself to sleep, but at this age you do have to draw the line somewhere. He knows that you're right there, and something is much more interesting than going to sleep. If you keep relenting, he will develop his own bedtime routine, and it will probably include you sitting with him until 10pm. I don't mean for you to lock his door and put the earplugs in so you can't hear him wailing, but I think you should try putting him to bed, letting him know that it's bedtime, and going out of his room. Wait a little while, and go check on him, don't pick him up unless he's getting worked up, but go in and talk with him, let him know you're there and it's bedtime. It may take awhile, but he'll get it. My son is now 3 1/2, and goes to bed with no troubles by 8pm, and sleeps until the morning. Good luck, nothing is worse than bedtime issues... sleep is one of those precious commodities as a parent.

Answer 3

Boy, you surely have a delemna that drives every mother nuts. The specialist use to say to let your child cry it out. Now they say not to do that. So what is a mother to do? When one of my kids was that age I use to put her in her car seat and drive around the block. That always calmed her down so that she could nap. Have you concidered putting your child in a car seat and have in the house by you? Kids go back and forth thru stages where they are curious and want independence. Then they get insecure and wont let go of your apron strings. Your child is obvious going thru this insecure stage. You are his whole world. He needs to be by you even while napping. I would suggest strapping him in a car seat inside your home by you or put him in a play pen in the room you are in until he falls asleep. If those dont work than you might have a child with some hyperactivity. My third child was like this. She wouldnt sleep during the day for anything. You just learn to adapt to it. Just remember the phrase "And this too shall pass". Good luck!

Answer 4

This is normal. At around 9 months, a child really takes a leap into being able to discover his world, and be part of it too. They are really starting to be able to interject into social activities (even though it may just be socialization with you). Everything is new and exciting for them. He dont want to go to sleep because he is afraid he will miss out on something. I say be flexible but firm. Allow him time to get good and tired before you lay him down; but once you lay him down and you know that he doesnt need anything (hes clean and fed and safe)-let him cry. It may drive you crazy the first few times until he gets the message, but if you go back in the room repeatedly, he will only learn that by crying he gains control over you. Ive been there and I know how hard it is to sit there and listen to your baby cry, but trust me, its for the better of you both. Also, check out this link on how much sleep your baby should be getting.

Answer 5

ha ha I just asked the same thing about a week ago, I think they go through this stage at this age. I let my son cio myself but it stopped working last week, I had to completely change the routine, he is to one nap a day now and it last 3hrs, its good and bad because he gets pretty tired before the nap but the day goes much better and he will sleep when I keep him up. Anyway good luck and hope I could help at least a little.

Answer 6

wow i had that same problem. at the same age about. my daughter was great at bedtime till then and im an attatched parent also so crying out was outa the question but i was so lost and sleep depreived, my dr said the only and best thing to do is cry it out, have her cry her self to sleep eventually she will fal asleep on her own. and u wanna do it now before there too old. so i did it and yes it was hell, she cryed for 3 hrs for three days before fallingasleep, she said to make urself busy while the babys crying. well i tell ya it worked wonders, now she lays down adn goes right to sleep no crying, it sounds mean but it works great. it took a couple months though

Answer 7

We have the same problem with our daughter. We made the huge mistake of letting her sleep with us. She had just come off a cold and started teething around 6 months, so we wanted to comfort her and that led into a rountine of her sleeping with us (up until that point she had slept fine in her crib). As she got a few months older, we started putting her in her crib once she was asleep. We are ttc again, so we have been trying to put her in her crib at night. We had a great routine, bath, bottle, read books, rocked her to sleep and put her in her crib. Well now her pediatrician is telling us she needs to soothe herself to sleep and said we need to put her in her crib awake. This is when our little angel's other personality comes out. She is a very social girl and won't go to sleep on her own. The first night she cried for 45 min. I finally had to go in and rock her to sleep. The second night she only cried for 15 min. because my hubby couldn't take it anymore, and rocked her. The third night, which was last night, I held out for 45 min. again and she finally dropped off to sleep. However, an hour later she was up again crying and my hubby rocked her back to sleep. She woke up again during the night and I had to rock her back to sleep. She has been very restless in her sleep these past nights and even cried a few times in her sleep, so I don't know if this is working just yet. I'm really thinking about going back to rocking her to sleep. At least I know she was sleeping peacefully through the night. She's only 15 months, so maybe she hasn't grown out of the seperation anxiety yet. Sounds like your son may be starting it. I would suggest rocking him to sleep - especially if you can't stand to listen to him cry. Good luck!

Answer 8

Its perfectly normal. Kids want to see and experience their new world, and no matter how sleepy they get they dont want to waste a moment.

He'll out grow it some, but generally even kindergardeners can fight sleep for the same reasons.

Answer 9

I'm attached my kids too i sit in the dark with my baby i feed him talk to him in a soft voice and rock him he falls a sleep in no time

Answer 10

Crying is not going to hurt him. Believe it or not, he will be just fine in his crib. Don't run to him everytime he cries, you're sending the wrong signal. And no, this is not mean.