How do you get a set of twin boys 2yrsold who are hyperactive to calm down and listen to me?

Question

I have a set of twin boys who are 2 yrs old. They are a handful. They are so hyper that when I take them to church or to a birthday party they are little destructo's. People look at me like I don't correct them but we put them in time out and they will not stay. They bite, hit each other, push, you name it and they are doing it. HELP!!! I don't know what else to do. They are embarrising me out in public by throwing tantrums and head banging. They are constantly getting hurt by one another cause they will not listen and mind me. They are more less you can say climbing the walls and I've tried everything. People say they are just being boys but all of my nephews are the same age as they are and they are very calm and you give them a toy and they play with it for ever. You give mine a toy and they throw it down and take off running and doesn't pay attention where they are going and falls and gets some more bruises. I wish they would just calm down. Are they accident prone ???HELP!!!!!

Answer 1

This sounds like a very perplexing situation and I can understand how frustrating it must feel... Are you a single parent? If not you need your spouse to help you in a perhaps difficult but temporary intervention where there are two strong sets of hands to put them in their quiet corners and not cave in to tantrums, often harder for the parents than the kids, but effective over time. It may also be important even at this young age to make each child know they will get private Mommy and Daddy time (or aunty or grandpa time or whoever the caretakers may be)... Twins have a close bond and may use it against you by getting along extremely well when older, smiles, but right now they also need to know they are each unique and special and will get equal but separate special time with you as they grow up, and this positive interaction will be incentive to behave when together.

If you do not have a spouse, or even if you do, if you have friends or relatives who could put in a little extra time to be a backup set of firm hands or enforcers, I have seen children calm down considerably once they are shown in no unquestioning terms that they can not get what they want by misbehaving... granted the age of two is notably the most famous for irrational behavior, so don't be too hard on yourself if they don't become angels overnight. I do think united, consistent demonstrations from parents/caretakers that bad behavior is punished and good behavior earns praise, perhaps combined with separating the twins entirely for long periods of time, again with extra help, will see a change in their demeanor and the whole family's peace.

The only other factor(s) - actually not minor, but separate from behavior modification, in a way - is the eating and sleeping patterns. Depending on whether there are regular planned times for eating and sleeping or natural "respond to the child" needs... and how they seem to affect these children... you may want to modify one or both of these things- Children misbehave more in the afternoon when tired or cranky if their nap and or their nightly sleep is not adequate, added to the "terrible twos" this could be a factor. Add this to blood sugar levels, and it could mean chaos.

Though the typical diet in this country includes a lot of starchy (basically metabolized as sugar) foods, it is not good for any of us and may have the worst effect upon little kids. Cookies, crackers, cereals, even "low sugar" ones like Cheerios, are not bad on occasion but do not help blood sugar levels any more than concentrated juices like apple juice or sugared drinks do... Spring water, milk and soy milk if they drink that, and a juice like orange juice from concentrate (not heat-pasteurized like Tropicana) diluted with half water (this is the level doctors say athletes need when replacing depleted moisture, contrary to the ads of sugary and artificial Gatorade etc.) will be better for the blood sugar now and in the future. Young kids will adjust much easier to a reduction in sugars than those later in childhood when the sugar cravings can get much harder to handle. Visits to the store will also be less traumatic when cookies and candy are not in their systems, whether you incorporate a healthy snack like veggie sticks or perhaps a mini bag of Smartfood cheese popcorn to the schedule before, after, or during the trip.

Fresh fruits and vegetables and nuts, peanutbutter, and cheese make healthy snacks, meals and even desserts. You can make a "blender shake" with some orange juice and various things from the fruit bowl, bananas, apples, etc., that tastes as sweet as ice cream but so much healthier and is an activity you could involve them in, as a special occasion or reward (tell mommy or daddy whether to put an apple slice or banana slice in next, make it a spectator sport as they get older and develop an attention span, with the reward being the frothy glass of magic "blender drink". Unsweetened applesauce, honey, and/or fruit-sweetened preserves mixed into whole organic yogurt makes a little dessert that is much better for them than store-bought sweets. And sometimes peanutbutter on celery or sliced cheese on apple wedges is as fun a finger food as milk and cookies, crackers, etc.

Although organic food is considererd more expensive and harder to get that may be changing as more and more large stores are making it an option across the country. Not only do we need to be concerned about pesiticides and other additives that may not wash off easily, but with the talk of hormones used in animals, I'd be afraid to give eggs, dairy, or meat to my kids if I didn't but an organic brand, to make sure their already hyper little systems are not trying to cope with hormones and other additives in feed designed to make bigger cows or fertile hens... Also they say local fruits and vegetables that are in season, or organically grown ones, may be higher in taste and nutrition than those imported from across the country or boxed in trucks for weeks.

Healthy snacks, regular meals, and adequate nap and bed times will have a cumulative effect over time. Along with a strong parental presence, for fun times as much as for being firm with them, both separate from each other and together, you should see changes that are noticable soon...

Not just because the twos only last one year (though it can be a blessing, smiles) - Good luck and try to keep positive, Love

Answer 2

You have my sympathy. I have 3 boys, 8, 7, 1 and one more on the way. My two oldest, (step kids) were diagnosed with ADHD after years of dealing with the same type of behaviour. If it comes down to you not being able to control them, no matter what tactics you try, then its time to look into other possibilities. As they get older, the problem gets worse. Yes it can show up at an early age, however, medication is NOT always a necessity. Sometimes its a matter of learning how to deal with 'alternative' children. They have a different way of learning, and understanding. Time outs are the most difficult form of punishment, because they are so hyped up, they have no other outlet for their energy than to run and act insane.
It becomes more and more of an issue as they grow, because they do not learn how to keep themselves out of dangerous situations...its impulsive behaviour and can be very dangerous. For example, you can tell a typical child that something is hot, don't touch it, and they may very well understand it, and realize you are telling them its dangerous...a child with ADHD, will hear you say it, and go for it anyway, sometimes repeatedly. It's almost like things just don't sink in.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/adhd.html

This is just one website that describes a lot of the symptoms.
You can get help through any local mental health agency, as a family doctor cannot treat or diagnose this type of problem.

Another thing to take into consideration is the amount of sugar you children are ingesting. Diet can have a big effect on attitude.
Its worth looking into and checking out.

Best of wishes to you and your family.

Answer 3

There is a possibility that they are ADHD. I feel your pain. I have two boys 5 & 7 that are ADHD and my yougest also has an oppisitional defiant disorder and I have them on behavior charts that offer rewards and consequences. I found consistency is the key. Like for instance if my childrem fight they know that they will spnd 15 minutes in their rooms, if they jump on the furniture, they lose their trampoline for one day...and others. If they listen they get rewards such as a treat, or a sticker, or a toy. They toys and treats are earned after 5 coupons. With two year olds you might want to start with simple rewards and consequences. Time out is great. If they get out of time out just simply walk them back to their place even if it takes 5 times to do that and explain to them that they can not get out until their time is up. Take away favorite toys, Find out what they like and don't like and use that. It takes consisteancy, a lot of work and a lot of patience but it can be done. Lots of praise and affection when they do follow the rules or do something that is good. Good luck

Answer 4

Girl, that sounds like a mission for Nanny 911 LOL. Now, seriously, you need to talk to them with simple words and NOT yell, children learn what they live, so if you yell they are gonna think it's ok to yell. Time outs work great, if you say they will not stay you are excusing the, they have to stay, you have to make sure that the rules are obeyed at home. Everytime they get up, you start counting again. Discipline and consistency is the key. If you say they have to do something and then they don't and you let them they know they can get away with this, so be tough, it's hard but you have to. They have to learn to respect you, you are the one in charge not them.
Also, don't give them too much sugary stuff, that will bring down the activity. Good luck

Answer 5

Several things could you try?

remove all sugar, chocolate etc from their diet. look at the labels - 1 tsp of sugar = 4g of sugar on label. yogurts have sometimes 40+ g of sugar thats 10 teaspoons full!! would you put 10 teaspoons of sugar in a glass that size, water and give to your children to drink? remove all cereal with sugar, etc. it will be a big fight at first, but when they see they cannot win it will get better. take them to a dr and have them tested - especially for celiac (allergy to gluten).

don't show your anger. discipline them in a calm way.
tell them "if you do this, this is what will happen" and stick to it, no matter how many times a day you have to do it. Also, I am not advocating child beating, but if you have a good wooden spoon, one swift swat on the rump, not done with anger or vengeance, will get their attention. Tell them if they get up off time out they will get a swat. they are pushing you around and running your life, your friends will blame you for bad behavior, then criticize you for spanking!!! there is a good book by Dr Dobson (Focus on the Family) about the "strong willed child"

remember - be consistent - don't punish out of anger or frustration - tell them you are being punished because you......... and you know when you ....... this is what will happen.
Good luck & God Bless

Answer 6

Consult a doctor for possible hyperactivity, but also think very seriously about changing thier diet and discipline, which i feel is the real problem.

Remember some of the things that encourage this behavior is carb/sugar/caffiene, as well as no risk for acting bad. You have to be strong, and set the limits to thier behavior, or you'll never get thier respect.

Answer 7

WOW!!! You really do have your hands full. Unfortunately, grounding only works when they get older. You could take toys away or put them in their rooms until they have calmed down. Negotiating only goes so far, giving them a treat to make them settle down only lasts until the treat is gone, then it's back up and running again. When they start acting up in public, (hopefully you have someone with you at that time) you could take them to the car until the shopping/dining is finished.
Good luck to you!

Answer 8

well you could get a rubber room
or put a big pile of dirt in the back yard
or wear a costume and act silly
but you can also cut down on pre packaged foods and keep them awake for longer periods of time in the middle of the night

at two your twins are just becoming aware of their ability to interact with the physical world
they are also aware of frustration when what they intend does not meet with what the;y want
{sounds like you have the same problem}
take your own advice and calm down about it all Its not like you will go to jail for a noisy kid and people forget quickly but I would decline offers to participate in public events till they are a little older
you cannot get a child to act like an adult to expect this is very unfair and damaging to your developing childs personality and you r relationship with them
positive reactions to their new found ability to throw are truly approptiate because mommy that means they are developing normally and this is important to you try to be less rigid about behavior and enjoy the way your child can throw toys without being punished or censured just for being a kid
you probably nee d to be a kid too and throw some toys too
interacting in a positive manner s howing excitment for their accomplishments will draw them to playing with you
as far as frustration it is crucial for them to learn the terms wnich describe emotions
acknowkedge calmly that the child appears frustrated and relate the times you have been frustrated and why
express sympathy for that feeling and be firm in your decisiion whatever it is

Answer 9

I'm a ADHD and I used to be EXACTLY like them. Hyper, refusing to listen, tanturms, the wonders. Thankfully, I have grown out of it but occasionally, I get to be hyper. But, I know how to control it. I go to my room and just sit there until I calm down. Bring your boys to a doctor. If you happen to live in Canada, there are alot of doctors who can help you figure out if your two sons are ADHD or just simple kids who do not like to sit. I can't sit for more then two minutes if I can't distract myself.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm#symptoms

I found this site. I hope it gives you all the answers to your questions!

Answer 10

1, Do not give in to the gestapo tactics of your 2 year olds
2, Maintain your calm, do not raise your voice, Instead lower it
3, Do not count to 3, if you tell them to do something, expect them to do it...Immediately
4, If they do not respond immediately, TIME OUT
6. Continue to place them in TIME OUT until they are quiet, calm and stay without prompting
7. Do not bribe or beg you children to behave
8. Set the rules and stick to them
10. Call a friend, call your mom....step outside, but do not resort to physical punishment, let the tone of your voice express either displease our pleasure

Remain constant, children crave consistency and discipline
Good Luck

(experience adoptive mother of Crack addicted twins, Social Worker, Special needs Foster mother)

Answer 11

in all honesty cut out their sugar/carb intake. Whether it be from junk food, regular foods, juices..etc. Sometimes sugars and carbs make the child hyper. I'm diabetic. My daughter usually eats healthy with me...If we give her anything with a lot of sugar or high in carbs, she's uncontrollable.