that is NOT child abuse, that kid was lucky i would of got the crap beat out of me right then and there, if you hear anybody saying anything about how you discipline your child just tell them to mind there own business or ask them if they would like to buy the toy for them? i think its great when people yell or hit there kids in public it embarrasses the kid and shows everybody you mean business, but i don't believe at cursing at kids, i've seen it and its horrible, the kids end up saying the same words to there friends
2006-09-19 04:12:49
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answer #1
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answered by AFwife 4
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I agree with the other answers here. A little disipline goes along way towards teaching children to behave. The people who mutter child abuse are the same ones that see the news later that night about the teenager that has just killed six people and wonder what the hell this world is coming to. They don't do the math. I would rather see a child get a spanking from a parent than to watch that child running around yelling and getting in other people's paths. It is not only dangerous for everyone, but each time he gets away with doing it, it will escalate until it is an uncontrollable problem. Children act out for many reason, the least of which is to get some attention. But to just yell at them or get angry without them receiving a pushiment, only shows them how they got a reaction and the attention.I do draw the line a spanking is one thing but I do have a problem with someone that continues to hit a child past the normal 2 or 3 swats on the bottom. If my son is getting a toy, but starts misbehaving, he knows we will be putting the toy back. I let him see me take it and put it back on the shelf so he knows it is no longer in our cart ( ihave even made him put it back). If he continues to misbehave to the point that he is told he is getting a spanking, then he does. I usually wait until we are home so we can talk about his behavior and why he is getting the spanking. We always follow through with any punishments and don't make empty threats. One the other hand we also don't lie to him and when he asks questions we answer as honestly as we can in a way that he can understand. He is 5 1/2 and is a very well behaved child and he rarely has any kind of melt down in public or at home. My mother in law has even told me she thought we had done a great job in the way we have chosen to raise him by setting limits and having rules to follow because he behaves great when he stays with others. There are other children in the family that no one will volunteer to keep because of their behavior.
2006-09-19 04:38:41
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answer #2
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answered by jigsawinc 4
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I do not agree that its child abuse because the child was never touched,,I also have grown (I'm 42years young) I have two children a daughter 18 and a son 5..When my daughter was 4 she threw a fit in a drug store, my cart was full of items we were in need of, I calmly tried to reason with her and told her firmly that only one toy and that was all she figured if she threw a big enough fit I would buy the toy to hush her and get done what I had to get done..
I parked the cart took both toys away from her, and I told her we were leaving,,now to leave the store we had to go to the front, there were two college age ladies and an older chasier,,my daughter was crying and throwing herself backwards as I walked to the front of the store,,One turned to the others and said "Mothers today,,some people shouldnt have kids" Normally I would have ignored this remark for I do not care how someone feels about me raising my children as long as Im not doing wrong or bodily harm which I was not, but on this day her words struck a cord and I turned around and walked up to her and said, My dear the day you have children and they behave in such a manner I hope that someone is around to judge you, you have no idea what it is like to raise a child let alone on your own as I am doing, I can see just how mature and experinced you are by the fact you are using your parents visa card to buy your supplies, you cant even purchase your own product with your own money, so my advice to you is until you have walked a mile is someones shoes keep your comments to yourself,and know this my daughter will be self sufficent when she is your age then you are now. As I turned to walk away the Cashier who was my age said Amen Fellow Mom, my daughter never ever again threw a fit over a toy, she also lost tv time when we got home straight to her room down for dinner then back up afterwards.
2006-09-19 04:37:55
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answer #3
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answered by enoughmichele04 2
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Absolutely. Raising my voice, spanking, threatening, scolding. It's amazing how many parents will look at you in disbelief when someone is doing one of those things to a young child.
I'm going back some 3 or 4 years now, back to a time when I was driving our oldest child to the doctors office. She was screaming on the top of her lungs right from the get go, yelling, throwing an all out temper tantrum, and throwing her hands and legs around wildly.
Finally at my wits end, I pulled the car over part way through the drive, yarded my daughter out of her baby car seat, and while standing her beside the car, I whipped down her pants, and paddled her little butt like she had never been paddled before. I mean that kid got a lickin that day like no other.
When I finished with her, I buckled her back into her car seat and low and behold, there was two women watching. Oh ya, the comments flew from both corners, and seeing I wasn't going to win the arguement, I got back into the car, and calmly drove off.
My opinion, people should mind there own business when it only pertains to a spanking. Now child abuse is another thing. By all means, step in.
2006-09-19 08:15:43
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answer #4
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answered by Frugalmom 4
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Don't worry about it...the "other people" won't be the ones dealing with the kids later too. And, I'd love to see how their kids turned out if they let them throw fits in the store....not to mention their own mental sanity. I have even opted for actually spanking them right in the middle of the store. Oh yeah did I get some remarks and glares then! But you know what, I have 3 kids that know the rules and don't dare act up, especially in public. And I get comments all the time on how well behaved they are. Definately worth a few nasty opinons.
I am always curious to see why this was abuse anyways? 20 years ago my mom would've whacked us good in the middle of the grocery and no one would have thought anything of it! And thank goodness she did...we were some orniery kids.
2006-09-19 04:26:00
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answer #5
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answered by nic_tammyscott 3
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I do not believe this scenario is child abuse. In fact, I do not believe spanking is child abuse.
If a child is being reprimanded for doing something wrong, a few taps on the bottom to give the child a little scare is harmless.
I used to get spanked when I was little, and it was more embarrassing and scary than painful. In fact, it never really hurt at all.
Everything has to be so politically correct these days. I beleive it is more harmful to compensate spanking with verbal correction... all I see are spoiled little bad children that come from solely verbal punishment.
I am not advocating beating your kids every time they do something wrong... but sometimes it is necessary to get the point across.
Even a warning of it should not be considered wrong.
2006-09-19 04:22:08
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answer #6
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answered by Elkie 2
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I have spanked my child in public. I don't care what someone elses opinion is. You can't really do time outs in the store, so yes, a good swat is okay! I agree with the warning first. That way your child still has a choice of behaving or receiving a spank if not. I can't stand when another person says you are abusing your child if you spank him. Now if you were to go crazy on the child, then yeah that would be abuse. A swat on the butt, is okay!
2006-09-19 04:14:40
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answer #7
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answered by lees girl 4
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Not abuse.
Successful tactics: I either a) threaten with loss of beloved privilege in a whisper to the child or b) ignore them if they aren't totally disturbing the rest of the store. If they are too awful, I leave the groceries, remove the kid and a privilege.
Spanking, in small doses, can be a useful tool in training kids. It should only be a small part of a larger picture. I find that generally kids are too old to spank after age 5-6 unless they do something truly awful on purpose.
I's important to send a message that you won't accept certain behaviors. Raising children with discipline means training them. Training is a lot more than spanking. It's a consistent message that our standards are kindness, safety, responsibility and respect toward each other.
1) Lack of supervision 2) tolerating disrespect and 3) not requiring children to contribute to the family to produce a sense of team spirit ultimately leads to bratty kids and impossible adults.
You're on the right track. Keep it up and just keep refining your technique. Whispering the consequences a misbehaving child can expect not only keeps the nosy do-gooder from having much to mutter about, it saves your child embarassment and helps keep the situation from escalating.
FYI: I have 4 kids. The oldest are normal wild kids, 9 and 10 (boys), but they say please and thanks without reminders, don't let me lift a finger to carry a grocery bag, and they make their own lunches with only occasional prompting. They're very helpful in many ways. I get lots of compliments. Dad's not around too much. Just wanted you to know I've done a decent job with mine, so my opinion counts for something.
2006-09-19 04:33:39
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Tell the child he needs to keep the toy he already chose or he gets nothing. It works on my daughter who has the emotional development of a preschooler. Then follow through on it. If you have a whiny toddler, so be it. People will stare and comment no matter what you do - whether you let him whine or tell him you will hit him (or actually hit him).
I don't believe in spanking but it is not my business if someone else does as long as it isn't going overboard. The only thing I really have a problem with is spanking in public. I don't comment or interfere but it is very uncomfortable.
2006-09-19 04:44:47
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answer #9
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answered by AlongthePemi 6
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Sounds to me like you are doing the right thing, a fit is never acceptable under any circumstances and if a swat on the butt is what it takes to get his attention then so be it. As for those who have snide remarks, just tell them, as loudly and firmly as you talked to your son, that they can mind their own business and if they have a problem with the way you are raising YOUR OWN child, the least they could do is say it to your face instead of muttering, embarrass the heck out of them and they will leave you alone. People like that need their own a** whooped.
2006-09-19 04:55:26
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answer #10
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answered by momofmany79079 2
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How strange this just happened to me last night a a restaurant. My two daughters were acting up and I had to reprimand them with firm words and these people were all staring at me like I had just put a 45. to their heads. I just looked at them and said "can I help you", and they stopped looking my way. After that I started wondering what they would do in my situation and if I had even been on the staring end of things (which I have). All in all I'm sure that disciplining vs. letting them run wild is the better choice no matter how many stares you get and one day the staring parties will definitely be on the other end of things as well.
2006-09-19 04:22:54
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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