Should i try to tell my mom????????????

Question

my mom does not understand why i was so depressed after my bf and i broke up he was my fist bf and everything else but i also became pregnant and was for 5 months. She was suspicious and took me to the doctor because i was gaining weight but by then i was already miscarrying. So i told her it had just been a scare. I had one other scare in january from what she thinks but the blood test i took was too early and the doctor told me to come back in two weeks i did not tell my mom that. I did go back on my own 3 weeks later and i was pregnant. I was so depressed i stopped eating very much and all i wanted to do was sleep after my bf broke up with me. We got back together a month and half later secretly because after that suposed scare my parents hated him. But the relationship was really bad lots of stress and fights took place.

My bf and i broke up again and i miscarried shortly after. I hid this from my parents .

They did not trust me after a scare so i think it might be worse if i tell them the real reason?

My relationship ith my parents is pretty bad to begin with i as only ever pregnant once and she does not now that! It happened with a condom.

i am 18 years old

Answer 1

I suggest that perhaps you should tell your parents that you want to talk to a therapist and get some things sorted out. Then maybe under his/her care you can decide whether it is a good idea to tell mom or not. The therapist may also help you adress the fact that you keep getting pregnant in situations where it really is not the appropriate time. good luck

Answer 2

I'm at little confused. At 5 months wouldn't you have to have a D&E?

I don't know how old you are but I'm going to take a guess and say you're fairly young. You should speak with your mom or at least somone that you trust. (Honestly, pregnancy isn't a task to take on alone. I could tell you stories that would curl your toes over what can happen to you or the baby...but I'll spare you that.)

You sound as though you need help from someone (please don't take offense. I'm not saying you're crazy. Perfectly normal really. We all need help at some point!) I hope you find it.

The bf you mention doesn't sound like he's worth much--to be frank. Between emotions and hormones I'm sure that is hard to see but someday I'm sure it will be clear. Try not to get trapped in the moment.

Also: Try to enjoy being young. Try to find things that *you* enjoy. If you must have sexual relationships then please please protect yourself! Try to be kind to yourself and get to know your own mind before anything else.

If you are looking for a lasting relationship with someone who really cares for you the BEST thing you can do is become a healthy, happy, secure person FIRST. The best lovers often start out as friends. (I know, not a terribly romantic idea but it's true. Marriage is the beginning of a long conversation. Childrearing is an emotional and physical marathon. Tragedy is only romantic or interesting in a book or movie. Experiencing it firsthand sucks rocks--to use the venacular.)

There is nothing more attractive than a person that feels comfortable in their own skin. To be honest, it sounds like you're not there yet. Nuture yourself, care for yourself and the rest will come in time. You can't properly care for anyone until you learn to care for yourself. No other person can "make" you feel better. That is something that comes from within. You deserve care and comfort. You deserve peace. Don't rob yourself of that before you even get started, sweetheart! Getting pregnant or finding a boyfriend won't cure any emptiness you may feel at the moment.

Please, talk with someone you trust and someone you can confide in. If nothing else, call a helpline and talk to someone.

Answer 3

There are two very difficult things going on here. One is the TRUST issue, the other is about LOVE.
You would like your parents to love and trust you, but you build a wall around yourself and won't let them in. I do think you should tear down the wall. Talk to your folks, and admit that they were right. Notice I said to admit they were right, versus admitting that you were wrong. I'm sure you were aware of that while you were defying all of their rules. So there is no reason to beat yourself down any more, okay?
Your parents don't want to be excluded from your life. They want to do more than provide a roof over your head, and a few meals. When they made the CHOICE to have you, they made a commitment to you. It became their task to keep you safe and healthy, as well as preparing you for your own adulthood.
Let them in - Let them 'parent' you in the best way they can. It may break their hearts at first, but trust me, hearts heal. If you can build a strong, healthy, loving relationship with them then you'll have better skills for building the same type of relationship with your friends, and future partners.

Answer 4

No disrespect but you sound very very young minded. You also seem to have alot of emotional issues at hand, and a baby will not make them any better. If the boy don't wanna be with you then screw him and move on!!!! Your parents know whats best even if you don't agree with them. Leave the boy alone and forget about him. It will not be easy to forget about the 2 times you were pregnant but God does everything for a reason, you may have mis carried because he knew you weren't ready for that kind of blessing. Enjoy being young and don't rush into relationships or motherhood. And if you do decide to be sexually active, GET ON BIRTH CONTROL. Make him use A CONDOM , and you get on the shot or the patch or something to protect yourself, too many STD's out there and too many young people being careless.

Answer 5

Breaking up is a hard thing to deal with, I think your parents should be a bit more compassionate to your feelings. Things happen, condoms break, you deal with the problem, make a decision and move on. What parents don't realize is that by pushing their kids not to go out with someone it only pushes them closer to them. It happened to me, I wanted to date a guy 8 years older than me and my parents ended up kicking me out when I was 17. Well, as it happened I ended up pregnant and pushed into getting married. No one could just understand the fact I had only wanted to date him, but it happened and well things didn't work out so we divorced. I now realize that the more they wanted me not to see him, the more I wanted to which in turn made me want an out. It was a hard experience and I do understand about parents not liking the person you want to be with. My parents disliked every guy I dated, including my husband now. If you feel that your depression is serious maybe you could check into seeing a counselor. However I think it is normal to be a bit depressed about everything you explained. Things eventually get better so keep pushing forward, and you are 18, which is an adult now, so your decisions are your own for you to make. Good luck, and don't give up.

Answer 6

Elanor P...from what you've written, your parents don't trust you for good reason. Perhaps you should try to regain their trust by sitting and talking to them. You have not used good judgment in the past; you might begin with that.

Sexual activity is not a game. It is not something you do to make a boy like you - THAT never works. All sexual activity does for a young woman is give her something to worry about every month. For the man - what you do for him he can do for himself.

When you feel you must hide something from your parents, you know in your heart it is wrong. It might be time to admit your past indiscretions and begin to build a relationship with the people in your life that will always be there for you - your parents.

Find something more fulfilling to do that find boyfriends until you're much older. You will have far fewer problems, and may even discover that you are a great person with goals and ambitions to strive for.

Answer 7

If you are going to continue to be sexually active you need to learn how to not get pregnant. Obviously you aren't using condoms right if you've gotten pregnant twice. If you are going to the doctor alone then you need to go and get yourself on some birth control and use it properly and continue to use condoms also. Last, hiding boyfriends and pregnancies from your parents is not going to do you any good because when they find these things out they will never trust you and when your world comes tumbling down because your boyfriend dumped you and you're pregnant, again, your parents are going to be all you have.

Answer 8

uhm... dang man that is soo sad. i am so sorry to here that. I think that you should tell your parents or your mother. It wouldnt do anything to hurt for telling. Just to keep your trust. There's not much they can do anyway because it's all over. But if it was me yeah i would tell. I think you would need to go to the doctor to get another check up. U dont need to hurt or harm your body, expecially because you are a girl what happens if you cant have another baby. Please have a talk with your mom not father your mom she might have a better understanding! Your friend CiCi Just trust my information okay and get back to me at it if you decide to do this!

Answer 9

Well if you think it may be worse then it might not be the best time for you to tell them. It sounds like you really do need and want someone to talk to though. If you don't think that you can talk to your mom about this then you should try and find someone else that you trust to keep your secret. Try to find an older woman who you know will understand your need to keep it to yourself. If you can't do that then maybe you should at least speak to a councelor. Maybe your school could help you with that, or you could tell your parents you want to see someone for depression.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Sweetie, only a loving parent would get upset with their baby girl having a baby. Its only natural for your parents to feel this way. They obviously love you so you need to be honest with them. Whats the worst that can happen. They'll just yell at you. i Hope you dropped the boyfriend because you dont need that kind of stress from a guy. Lean on your parents. Saying you are sorry is sometimes all it takes. If you chose to mess around let your parents know that it isnt going to stop and that you need to go on birth control. Your parents will be hurt by this because they dont want their baby girl in this position. But in the end all they want is for you to be safe. If you get mouth and rebelious with your parents they arent going to listen and its just going to end up in a big fight stressing you out even more. If you act apologetic, no matter how you feel on the inside, your parents will respond and be there to help you. Let them know that you screwed up again and you really need their help. You would be surprised at how much your parents will be there for you if you sit and talk to them with respect. Good luck. i hope you keep this baby. They are from God and dont deserved to be killed by abortion.