Anyone else out there dealing with In-laws watching your child(dren)?

Question

I've been dealing with my father in law babysitting 3 days a week since my daughter was 6 weeks old, she's now 4. Over the years, I haven't approved of things he does with my daughter. I can over come that, sometimes. But do you find it hard to have someone come into YOUR home and watch your child? I'm 7 months pregnant, drive 1 hour each way to work. I feel like all I do is clean. He has no respect for me what-so-ever. It's very frustrating to come home to a mess. He doesn't make my daughter clean up her toys or anything. He leaves the messs for me. When I have my baby and come back to work in February, both of my in-laws will be in my house babysitting both kids 3 days a week. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
It's very nice of him to offer to watch my child, but he's an idiot. He has no common sense at all. My child gets sick, he calls my mother in law for advice, not me. I can't afford daycare full time, she's already there 2 days a week.

Answer 1

well since no one paid attention to the fact that you cant afford daycare, you just need to STRAIGHT UP say listen! i love what your doing for me and i reallyappreciate it, but my kids are getting older and i really want to ensure these certain guidlines and disapline. And set up one for him if needed. They will be understanding you just have to make sure he knows how concerned you are. And if they get pissed for what you said, they were never good for your child anyways. BE HONEST WITH THEM. My in laws would baby sit my two little ones now and again, and i found they were smoking right in front of them! i said listen up , this WILL NOT happen again or you will not see them, and go figure years later my 4 year old suffers from asthma , which ticks me off because i always wonder if it was there fault for smoking.

Answer 2

I'm sure my ex-bf's parents would be happy to watch my daughter so I don't have to pay someone to. But alas, I think they are morons, and we don't agree on things, so therefore I pay someone every week who I know is responsible, and I don't have to wonder if my child is being taken care of.

PS - maybe he's not trying to disrespect you, maybe he doesn't know that the toys being all over is a big deal, or maybe he calls your MIL because he doesn't want to bother you at work

But if he truly has no common sense, I wouldn't feel obligated to have them watch your kids, just because they are relatives. Maybe you should start asking around and try to find alternate solutions.

Answer 3

It's a sticky situation. You get free daycare from him but want more? You think he is an idiot yet you trust him with your child?

Have your daughter clean up her toys when you get home or make him a list of what she needs to do.

Answer 4

Maybe you can check out a college campus and see if any of the night students want to watch your children during the day.

Where I went to college the campus for teacher education was on an entirely different side of the street and about 2 blocks down from the main campus.

People in the education program want experience with children to put on their resume

Answer 5

It's your house. Doesn't matter if he's doing you a favor or not, he should have respect and he should be a grown-up and clean after himself and make sure your child does too.

Where is your husband in this? This is HIS problem to solve. It's always the responsibility of the child to set his parents straight in these matters.......

Answer 6

i presumed it grew to become into an mind-blowing episode whether it grew to become into comprehensive bull$h!t. there is no way in actual life that the mum would've been charged with something interior the toddler's loss of life. BTW: Hearts has a sturdy occasion and debate. What if a vaccination led to the loss of life of a young person? no one would be charged the two because it grew to become right into a achieveable side-result and the possibility the parent chosen to take while vaccinating their toddler. Civil healthful? perchance, yet a homicide fee, no way.

Answer 7

Have you considered taking her to HIS house? You still have him to watch her but it's at his house and you won't have to pick up after him. Maybe only pick up her toys, And you could leave a few there and let her take one or two for the day.

Answer 8

hey i dont have a babysitter i cant trust any one even my inlaws oh i hate it when we take our kids there i try not to i dont work so im a stay at home mom because i dont trust any one i watch my own kids its the best thing for then abyways because i spent alot of time with them and i im watching them grow up instead of someone else

Answer 9

Well if you can't afford daycare and you can't quit your job to stay home then sounds like your stuck. If he is doing it for free it is kinda hard to complain about him not cleaning the house. The best you can do is talk to him about it. I guess consider yourself lucky that you have inlaws like that who are willing to help.

Answer 10

i go thru same thing. my mother in law takes care of my 19 month old baby boy ever since he was 6months. and she watches him for 10hrs m-f. so wen i go home he has a mess everywere... she lets him do watever he wants. n i hate dat wen hes sick she still lets him run around barefooted. n i got to da point were i couldnt handle it nomore n i told her n my husband dat i didnt like it n dat for now on i want him with atleast socks n not to let him do watever da *** he wants to do cuz hes gonna grow up thinkin its ok to do wat he wants wen its not. so after a long talk of do's n donts everything worked out great. maybe wat u need to do is tell him thank u n dat u appreciate wat hes doin for u but if he could help u out alil by cleanin after himself n have ur daughter pik up her mess. or if u caint do it have ur babydaddy to do it for u. der hes parents so if u caint bring urself to say hey can u do it like this or like dat n if ders somethin wrong with MY child call ME den tell ur husband/boyfriend to do it.