how to get over death?

Question

my friend died in july it is now mid september and i keep thinking about if i was there with him or if the life i was leading was gonna have me end like that. i haven't gotten ova his death...we were cool and we would talk and stuff like that...but we wasn't like he was like fam...he was like a friend...why am i not over it

Answer 1

It's more than likely something you'll never fully get over, but in time, you will heal but you'll never forget him. It does get easier, but keeping him alive in your memories is very important. Just take it one day at a time.

Answer 2

Death is a very difficult thing to deal with.
My Father died 7 yrs ago and you never "get over it". My Dad and I weren't speaking at the time that he died. We had a stupid argument... I never got to tell him that I love him.

You are allowed to grieve, it is a normal human process. It hasn't been that long since the death of your friend.

The "what ifs" aren't going to bring your friend back. You need to start looking ahead to the future and remembering the past.

Remember your friend and some fun things you did or some great conversations and try to keep the happy memories alive.

It is not easy to do all of this. I still cry sometimes because I miss my Father so much and that is OK.

I hope that you start to feel better soon..

Answer 3

Words become mere words and no words can express the feelings one has about the passing of a loved one. It is painful.. I have the same remorse and still find it difficult to live with. I sense, however, that there are primarily four stages that one has to go thru and these are:

_ accept reality of loss

_ experience and bear the pain or grief

_ adjust to a world in which the dead person is missing

_ withdraw and reinvest emotional energy.

The tasks of mourning begin with the acceptance of the reality of the loss. Being present at the death, seeing the body after death, and the rituals of a funeral all help to bring this home to the bereaved...and probably all intrapsychic change is stressful and most people at some stage try to avoid the pain of grief. They may search for a substitute for the relation that is lost (for example, they may attempt to quickly,search for a substitute for the person lost. They may search for a substitute for the relation that is lost (for example, they may re-marry quickly, or adopt another child in place of the one they lost). It is much wiser, though initially more lonely and painful, to wait until grieving is complete before attempting to really what I call moving on with life without the loved one.

In the early stages of mourning, the bereaved person (as it was/is with me) is preoccupied with the memory of the dead. It is as if the psyche has to re-evaluate all the aspects of the relationship and get it into perspective, accepting and forgiving the bad, and appreciating the good, before letting go.

It is oft times a tough road to travel.. Yes, friends can help to a degree.. support groups to a degree but in the final look at it, it is an individual's own responsibility to work themselves out of the throes of the grief... It takes time

Answer 4

Sierra,
I am sympathetic to you. It is really tough, and as death often strikes unexpectedly, we sometimes aren't able to deal with it - as there is no time to prepare. Perhaps you have unfinished business with your friend, or couldn't say good-bye. Whatever it is, perhaps going to the gravesite and talking aloud with your friend will help.
It does take time - a lot of time, and no one can tell you how long - as it is different for everyone.
You also mention in your question wondering if your own life will end like his. Perhaps that is part of your dilemma. You are reviewing your life - so now is a chance to let his death not be in vain. Learn from it, and if it is appropriate, change how you live. Let something good come from this loss.
You are more of a caring and deeper feeling person than you give yourself credit for.
I will pray for you and wish you the best as you deal with the loss of your friend (and loved one).

Answer 5

It is still too soon, my Mom passed away 2 years ago and I am still not over that, I had a friend get killed in 1984 and it took me a few years to get over her death. These things take time, since you were close it will hurt for a while, but eventually you will come to terms with it. But you will never forget him, that is just a part of life. Don't worry, though, he is in a better place. Maybe you should go to a bookstore and look up Sylvia Browne, she makes you feel better about losing someone, if you will. I am sorry you lost your friend, though. Best of luck.

Answer 6

Death takes time to get over there is no magical number of days months or years to say you will be over it. When my five day old daughter died I learned several valuable lessons, among them was that the amount of pain you feel is directly porportionate to the amount of love or caring you had for the person who has passed away. I have relieved many things about my little girls passing and as time has passed it has gotten more easy to deal with. It has been 16 years now and I still miss her,sometimes I feel guilty becuase I don't think of her as often as I did in the beginning. But that is our safety mechanism to let us get on with life. It will take whatever time it takes enjoy your memories rely on God and all will be okay. Do not expect too much from yoursel/ Alow time for the grieving process. God loves you nad I will pray for you.

Answer 7

If you and your friend are fairly young, it may be partially your loss of feeling invunerable. It's always particularly hard to handle a death of a friend or family member at a young age. My first cousin recently died in his late 40's and it's had me thinking of visiting other cousins before another death sneaks up on my family.

Lessons to learn from your friend's death is to not take life for granted and treat your loved ones as if this will be the last time you'll have with them.

If depression sinks in, seek counseling for help.

Sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

Death is a very difficult thing to get over, however, it truly depends on how you view death. Your views of death can help you to accept it and move forward. We are all born to die. If you have faith or religion or spirituality then use that as a guide to help you. of course when we loose someone we miss them and death is final we will never have them again to share the good, the bad, etc. It just takes time, give yourself time and don't be hard on yourself.

Answer 9

You will go through the grieving process for a lot longer that a few months. Give yourself time to think about your friend and remember all of the good times that the two of you had together. Do not pressure yourself over being "over it," some day in the future it will hurt less, but you will always remember him in your heart. You did not say how he died, but it sounds as if it was an unexpected death. He would not want you to be constantly sad and be missing out on your own life. You can still talk to him, in your heart, and in prayer everyday. Do not feel guilty for being alive. I have lost both of my parents within the past ten years, and I still miss them and think about them every day. They were older when they died, but it doesn't make it feel any different inside. I have a friend whose Dad died about thirty-five years ago and she says that she still expects to see him standing in the driveway of her parents house, when she goes to visit her mother. It is not as physically and emotionally painful for her now, after all these years; but she obviously still deals with it, in her own way every day of her life. Somedays when I am having a tough time dealing with the loss of my parents, I go back through pictures that I have or letters that my Dad wrote me, after my Mom died, and this will bring all of these memories back; and will make me feel better. I spent a great deal of time talking to my Aunts and Uncles and cousins about my parents, as they are the other people who knew them best, and I learned a lot of things about their childhood that I did not know. If you were friendly with your friends parents, I am sure that they would love to visit with you and talk about your friend and some of the fun times you had together. Take it one day at a time, and you will get there. I will say a prayer for you and your friend.

Answer 10

Everyone is different when dealing with death. I think the only thing that truly helps it time and talking to friends about your feelings. Help get your mind of things by going out with friends and enjoying yourself. But it's ok to cry and miss your friend too. Sorry for your loss. Thinks will get easier in time.

Answer 11

I had a supervisor that was a real good friend. I loved him to death and he died pretty suddenly. Time. It takes time. I'm still not over his death, and that was back in 2002, but it has become easier.