Im 17 and my mother pressures me to be more like my cousins. One day we came from getting my report card and theworst grade I had on my report card was a 'B' but my mother continued to go on about how my cousin would never let her grade slip. Recently I put on some weight and my mother constantly tells me that im fat and that no man would want to be with me because im not skinny like my cousin. I feel sometimes like she wants me to be just like my cousin. everything is always a competition. Why is that im not allowed to just be me?
2006-09-19 02:49:08 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She even signed me up for a workout club
2006-09-19 02:51:46 · update #1
I weigh 132 lbs im 5' 8"
2006-09-19 12:47:38 · update #2
I am guessing this is her sisters child? It sounds like her own sibling rivalry. You should approach her about how she makes you feel. Tell her how much you just need a simple and clear "Good job, I love you!" Sometimes moms try to live vicariously through you and try to get you to become what she wishes she had. Hopefully she will see what you mean, if you point out specific incidents. Good luck!
2006-09-19 03:25:06 · answer #1 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, good for you for getting pissed at the way that your own mother is treating you. I admire the fact that instead of just taking what she was giving, you are seeking some advice from others, that takes courage to admit that something is really wrong. Secondly, your mother should really be put in her place. You are doing a great job. A "B" on your report being your lowest grade, keep that up, and all you'll have to do is apply to college and get the hell out of dodge. I dealt with a similair situation growing up. At first, fighting back seemed all there was to do, and then I gave up on that....Don't compare me. I am not her, I am me. You gave birth to me. You promised to take care of me, and give me comfort, love, respect, and guidance. You are not doing that for me. I am who I am, and this is who God made me. PERIOD. There is no changing me. Just let me be who I am......You are allowed to be who you are, without contradiction or criticism. You are not going to go unloved because of weight or grades that don't add up to your supposedly "amazing" cousin. You are beautiful, strong, and smart, and you can't let people knock you down. Especailly the people that brought you into this world. Tell your mother to get some therapy...she is obviously dealing with her own childhood issues, and carrying them into you. That would be best for not only herself, but you as well. Good luck, and I hope that this helped. Remember to just stand up for yourself because, no matter who they are, if you continue to allow people to bring you down, there will come a point where you actually start to believe what they are telling you. You aren't there yet, because you are here asking for help. Have a great day.
2006-09-19 10:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by pamalamadingdong_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents sometimes don't realize that they are pushing their children too hard. I think they want the best for us but sometimes they go about it totally wrong. Tell your mom that you are not your cousin and that the things she tells you hurts your feelings. Try to get her to understand that you are doing the best that you can and you wish that she would accept that. If she doesn't then there's not much you can do to win her approval! All you can do is be okay with yourself! Know that you are okay just the way you are and love yourself for that!! Once you accept yourself for who you are, your mother's approval won't mean so much. It's hard to do, especially when someone is constantly telling you that you aren't good enough. But just try to believe in yourself and all that you can be.
2006-09-19 10:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom just sounds like she has the worst way of supporting u!! whats good is u dealt with it for 17 years and u dont have much further to go before u can start to plan to go away for college or move on. just put up with it and keep in mind that ure almost legally an adult and u can be whoever the hell you want. i really didnt get my own idenitity until after high school going into college so then is really ure moment to shine and create yourself to who u want to be and what u want to do. believe me uer mom will be missing the hell out of u and do good for yourself not just her! parents are the farthest thing from perfect so dont worry too much about it and tell her that ure u not ure cousins and if she doesnt back off tell her that shes ruining any good relationship with u and that she wont be able to get it back! strike a core with her she sounds like she needs alittle wakening up but dont go too far ure already close to getting out of the situation!
2006-09-19 09:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by toolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO. I can sense that you're getting tired of competing, especially since it is not your game. But I think there's nothing wrong with always striving to get high grades and maintaining your figure. How about you look at it the other way around, you aspire yourself to get excellent grades with beautiful body, that idea coming from you so you wont feel so burdened fulfilling it. You know what I mean?
2006-09-19 10:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by gameplan_xtreme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother loves you and wants what is best for you, but unfortunately she doesn't really understand that what you need most is her unconditional love and support. Kids have enough pressure on them by society without their parents adding to their pressure.
2006-09-19 09:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel and then tell her you are sorry she wishes that your cousin was her daughter.
2006-09-19 09:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. but if you know that you are great with what your doing, just keep doing what your doing. you are not here to please others.
2006-09-19 09:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by Kyana W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋