My friend with benefits & I have taken a break from the benefits for a little while because I was developing feelings and we have too much stuff going on to start anything right now.
Last night on IM, we were having a conversation and he says that he slept with a girl he knew the night before. I could feel myself getting jealous - even though I didn't mean for it to happen - but I just tried to remain calm and keep up the conversation. Be the friend.
"I'm f*cking someone, but not regularly...she just happened to come over...."
"Oh? Well!"
"Yeah, she has a sh*tty husband who beats her.."
"I can't believe you never mentioned her before."
"She lives down the road, this just happened last night.."
"I can't tell if you are joking or not.."
"I don't know...am I? LOL!"
"Are you?"
"She came over and I didn't have a chance!"
"Ya know what.....I can't..."
"Gotcha! hahahah...you believed me...!"
I called him and I started crying, I said "Are you purposely trying to hurt me?" He said "No, I was just playing to see what you'd say.." I said "Did you sleep with her?" "Naw, I wasn't interested. My brother said I should though." He said he didn't mean to make me cry, that he was just messing around.
I now realize that this was probably a test to see which buttons he could push. And yes, I tried - but I probably failed.
So, my question is - do you think I am right, was this just a test to see if I still felt something for him? If not, what do you think the purpose of this was?
2006-09-19 02:41:47 · 27 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That was pretty crappy of him...but I think he was testing you.
2006-09-19 03:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by amazincajn_99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok how old is this guy? In my opinion, there are two options to look at and you can be the judge. 1) He is extremely immature and doesn't know how to act in a boy-girl relationship. If thats the case, why waste your time. 2) He did really sleep with that girl or has thought about it and wanted to see how you would react. If you two aren't an item you have no right to be upset. When two people have a sexual relationship without an emotional commitment it usually means that you are very physically attracted to one another but thats about as far as it goes. Most of us that have been there before can honestly say that we would not like the idea of the other being sexual with someone else, just because it is kinda gross.
If it was a "test", you might want to think about moving on to someone who can be a little bit more forthright with their feelings and concerns.
2006-09-19 02:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by lady K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe he did have the woman over and yes, he did f**k her. The thing I can't quite get though is why it should really bother you ... presumably you're already in a relationship with someone else and this is just no strings f**king?
You're both adults - well, at least you're both over 21(?) - and it's a relatively free world, so if he fancies some fun without involving you, why the hell not? Ask yourself how he would react if you told him you'd f**ked another guy from down the street ... I guess he'd just laugh and say "Well done"
Get over it ... and don't get involved with him again
2006-09-19 02:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He slept with her. He was being "friends" when he told you, but do to the way you reacted, he had to take back what he said. This is why "friends with benefits" is no benefit! You cheat yourself out of a real relationship. Most women do become emotionally attached to someone they are having sexual relations with, and most men do not. It seems to me that your feelings have gone beyond friends with benefits and you would like a commitment from him. Do yourself a favor and tell him that you cannot do this anymore, that you care too much for him AND YOURSELF, and that you want more! Remember you cannot be mad at him for being with another girl, you were only "friends with benefits".
2006-09-19 02:52:14 · answer #4 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are perfectly OK. The case is like this once you had sex with a man then you start feeling him as your property, giving that wealth to some one else is not easy unless you acquired a most valuable thing than that you are giving. This is rational in all human nature, so let the things go like this wait for an opportunity to pick a valuable guy settle with him and say good bye to this cheap guy……………………..
2006-09-19 02:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by smartcamal1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow- this was very interesting to read. I was hoping there was more. I do think that you were right. I think he was testing you to see if you have more than just sexual feelings for him. I hope though that his feelings are as strong as those that you have for him, becuase it is very evident to me that even though you may not admit it entirely, you could be in love with this man. Or maybe you just dont want someone else to have him if you cant. Im not sure, but good luck.
2006-09-19 02:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by c_69_2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he has also proberly got feelings for you and is missing you terribly and wanted to see if you still have feelings for him, but i would advise that even though you like him i would not give him those benifits anymore, this way you can also see if he is just using you or if he really wants you, i know it is hard but give him an ultimatum either he has you in a relationship or not at all, if he does not want you just remember there are plenty fish in the sea, dont get used by someone rather find someone that wants you just as much as you want them. good luck i hope it all works out well.
2006-09-19 02:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter you obviously don't care about your own feelings because you've put yourself in the situation. Aren't you worth a commitment? Someone who will make love to you and you only? He will continue to play with your emotions because he doesn't respect you, he see's you as a piece of @ss and its fun to him to make you upset because he knows he has that effect on you.
Sorry to seem harsh but you need someone to tell you the truth so you can wake up, remove yourself from this disgusting situation and find someone of your own, a boyfriend, who will respect and care about you. I am 100% against the whole "friends with benefits" crap. It's like an another way for easy girls to validate their wrongs. (no offense)
Don't let anyone play you like a fool.
2006-09-19 02:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I think you are right. Girls are easily jealous. And guys like to play little games on us to see if we really like them or not. Guys like to know if you really are liking them or just like being benefits with them. I've been in the same situation and now we don't talk. I wish he did that to me because then he would see that I really care for him like he did to youy and you cryed that is so sweet.
2006-09-19 02:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by ♥I~love~my~Fiance♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a friend is treating you like this, he can't be much of a friend. Friends don't hurt someone they care for like this.
Yes, it was a game (to him) and he DID push your puttons. But this was cruel. I'd kick his a.s.s. It's no way to treat a lady.
2006-09-19 10:18:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men doesnt lie in these stories he really slept with that woman or he wishes to, so be carful and try not to hang around alone .
this is my advice
2006-09-19 02:48:23 · answer #11 · answered by BioProf 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋